Monthly Archives: February 2019

The Truth about Personality

Growing up my school made me take those “stupid” personality tests. They were complete bullshit.

How did I know that? Every year I switched from an “introvert” to an “extrovert” and then back again.

I found these personality tests restricting, pointless, and rebelled against them especially because the school was making us take them.

Don’t even get me started on astrology or some “moon space planet” craziness!

7 years later, I am a huge advocate for the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. Turns out there’s actually some truth to it- IF you take the right test, and IF you apply the information CORRECTLY.

Everything You Think You Know… Is WRONG

Like most other subjects, education institutions implement personality tests in the WORST way possible: they label people, such as “extroverts” or “introverts.” Furthermore there’s no application of this information. The teachers that are being forced to force their students these tests don’t even understand the basics of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI from now on).

It’s possible to be a very confident “introvert,” and a very anxious “extrovert,” for example.

The way 99% of the population goes about personality tests are as if this is some horoscope bullshit. No one can say that because you’re an INFP personality type, today is going to be “lucky.” That’s not the way it works!

Sit down and put your seat belt on. Today we’re investigating the TRUTH about personality, and why you NEED to find yours out ASAP.

First: The TRUTH

Before we delve into the practical applications of a personality test, we need to go over the TRUTH about the MBTI personality test. It was never meant to be the weird horoscope BS it has become.

If you find your true personality type, and you actually delve into it, you’ll learn a lot about what you need to do to grow as a person. Here’s the truth:

Personality tests indicate cognitive functions, NOT personality. Personality is a BYPRODUCT of the way your brain functions.

Let me give an example of personality vs. cognitive functions:

A personality trait could be preferring sushi over Mexican food. It could be preferring to adventure rather than stay in at home. It could be needing 2 hours of alone time every day.

This does NOT make you an extrovert or an introvert. As you’re about to learn, there are some extroverts whom can appear quite introverted (hint: ME).

A cognitive function is for example “extraverted intuition.” This cognitive function, when primary in a person, allows the person the ability to be great at generating ideas. It also makes the person highly curious and easily excitable.

Do you see how this is a lot different than personality? Understanding your cognitive functions is vital to your self-improvement, and also as a byproduct creates your personality. 

Understanding Cognitive Functions

True personality tests test you based on your cognitive functions. This is also how personality tests SHOULD be used, instead of the annoying, limiting, generic, horoscope BS that it is.

There are 8 cognitive functions, which I will leave to you to research. If you’d like me to write more about this, I’d love to, so just let me know if this content I should do more of.

Every person has 4 of the 8 cognitive functions. They operate in a certain order, and are scientifically measurable, rather than opinion-based such as “preferring to be out and social.”

Let me give you an example of the cognitive functions in action by using my own personality type, ENFP.

My primary cognitive function is “extraverted intuition” as mentioned earlier. My friends would indeed describe me as easily excitable, and highly adventurous. I have traveled to 12+ countries and lived abroad for a year in Bulgaria. This is totally something someone with this function would do.

My second cognitive function is “introverted feeling,” which we can nickname “authenticity.”

For those of you who have been around long enough, you will know that I’ve done a lot of writing about being “authentic” and “true to yourself.” Not everyone vibed with it, which I now understand as these people lacking an “introverted feeling” cognitive function (not to say they’re inauthentic or sleezy, but certain people have certain priories).

Introverted feeling is basically a person trying to make peace within themselves. It involves staying true to yourself, and makes the person highly individualistic.

My third cognitive function is “extraverted thinking,” which we can nickname “gimme gimme.” It’s basically designed to get you what you want. See: working hard to make my online business work.

My final cognitive function is “introverted sensing,” which we can nickname “routine & memory.” Your 4th cognitive function also shows up in negative ways. In the case of this, it makes the person highly rebellious. See: me dropping out of university, traveling the world, actively blogging about the horrors of mainstream society.

Do you see how important it is now to understand your cognitive functions? This is your REAL personality type, and it drives EVERYTHING you do. It also shows you your blind spots.

Now that you’ve read this, you can understand just how important understanding your personality type is. I now clearly know my super-powers, and I also have made sense a lot of my past behaviors.

For example, I really suck at time management. I also suck at being aware of what’s going around me. Yesterday I was hanging out with a friend and twice I walked into a street despite not having the “walk” sign.

That’s because I don’t have an “extraverted sensing” cognitive function, which allows the person to be extra aware of what’s going on in the present moment. This also explains why if I don’t put my keys in the same spot every day I forget where it is. It also explains why when my mom would ask me to get things as a kid I would struggle to locate objects which were right in front of me.

In short: you wouldn’t want to give me your keys and ask not to misplace them. I will lose them, but it’ll be okay because my primary cognitive function (extraverted intuition) will come up with 15 ways you can make more money online!

Jokes aside, THIS is the truth about the MBTI personality assessment! 

Applying Your Results

I’d recommend Googling “Personality Test,” and filling it out as accurate as you can. When you get the results, read over the description of your type and see if it’s accurate.

If it’s highly accurate (it’s okay if it’s not 100% accurate), then Google “[your type] Cognitive Functions.” For example, I Googled “ENFP Cognitive Functions.”

You should then read over the cognitive functions and by this point you should be highly resonating with your personality type. If not, then re-take the test. If you get the same result take a different test.

A true personality test takes a LONG time to complete because it goes over all 8 cognitive functions and then tests you based on their order. For sake of time, it’s better to spend 5-10 minutes taking a test online.

If it isn’t accurate, re-take or take a new test. This is the most time-efficient way to find your type.

Once you know your type, I’d also recommend finding a book for your type. For example, I found the book “The ENFP Survival Guide,” by Heide Priebe. It will give you a personal growth plan which is insanely accurate.

The Schools Had It Wrong… Again

To this day, I have no idea why the hell schools made us take these personality tests just to tell us “you’re an introvert” or “you’re an extrovert.” Like, what the fuck is the point of knowing that?

So what if you’re introverted or extroverted! Who cares? It’s a pointless label that accomplishes nothing.

Cognitive functions, on the other hand, reveal the truth of who you are. It’s how you think. It is your strengths and weaknesses. THAT is important to know because the information can actually be applied.

Don’t let anyone tell you who you are, instead seek to understand who you are!

The Truth is Fascinating

Growing up I thought personality tests were full of shit. As it turns out, my personality type, the “ENFP” is the “most introverted extrovert.”

The reason for this is because of my primary cognitive functions (adventure & authenticity) can be activated alone OR with others. This is why growing up I’d constantly switch between introvert and extrovert.

Sometimes I had friends to adventure with, and other times I was off on my own adventures! I also avoided activities which didn’t feel authentic to me.

When you discover your true personality type, you will no doubt be in for a rabbit hole, IF you apply the information correctly.

Again, to apply the information correctly you have to research your “cognitive functions.” Understanding your “super-powers” and “blind spots” is so key to becoming your best self (by the way, “becoming your best self” is something someone with “introverted feeling” would be likely to say).

It also will shed light on past behaviors, mistakes, and wins you’ve had in your life. For example, I now understand why me and my ex-girlfriend broke up. I now understand myself better, and her type.

One interesting thing is that according to personality theory the “ENFP” personality type is best matched with “INFJ” or “INTJ” personality type.

My two best friends? They’re both INFJs. I feel so great around them, and we connect so well… but why is that?

Now I know: it’s because our cognitive functions pair together very well. I also believe my ex may have been an INTJ!

There’s a whole lot to learn and I’d highly recommend diving into it. Remember: personality tests are not horoscope BS. You should NOT be looking up whether the “ENFP” will be happy today or not.

This is SCIENCE, and more importantly your cognitive functions. Your personality is a by-product of your cognitive functions, but of course affected by other things such as upbringing, emotional trauma, and likes/dis-likes.

Don’t let anyone tell you who you are, and don’t let the label hold you back in any way. Focus on understanding your functions, and you’ll be in for a lot of growth and improvement.

P.S. If you take the test, tell me what you get (:

Slow Down to Speed Up

Sometimes the world throws you curve-balls you could’ve never expected.

You think the storm is over, when really you’re just in the eye of the hurricane… it’s only halfway finished.

What footing you thought you had is now gone; you are suspended in air, falling, grasping, begging, and lost.

Sometimes, the right thing is to slow down, not speed up.

It’s the easy way out to get lost in routines and duties. Hustling all day doesn’t make you special, but in fact someone afraid to confront their own true feelings that arise in the seconds between distraction.

Sometimes the answers are right there inside of you, in that little nagging voice you drown away with vodka.

Lighting it up with weed helps not either. Unlike thoughts, this feeling cannot be medicated.

In the push to move forward, you forget that the brakes work no longer; you are stuck in inertia, moving forward, with only the wind to stop you.

When you let go, and realize that the brakes have broke, it is only natural to feel afraid.

What most do is press harder on the gas, for then at least they feel they have control.

Going so fast, they cannot look left or right, otherwise they will crash! The beauty and opportunities fade as the speed rages on.

Don’t you see that pushing on keeps you trapped in the cycle of no control?

By letting go of control, releasing the gas, one day your inertia-filled vehicle will rest, and you’ll be free to step out and bask in the beauty of now. Only then will you possess control.

Only then will you see how fast you were falling forward. Only then will things make sense.

Only then will you see what was yours all along.

Only then will you laugh at others who rush forward so fast they miss the celebration at the bonfire on the side of the never-ending racetrack.

You never wanted to go so fast anyways; you wanted to go fast to get “there,” so you sped farther away from “there” to get “here.”

Let go, slow down, and celebrate. You have arrived.

Why is the world so F*CKED?

Someone on Reddit asked a question: “Why does the world seem to be so F*CKED?”

The poster mentioned the insane obesity rates, increases of anxiety & depression, and other metrics. The primary question was: why is it that it seems everyone has some form of diagnosed mental illness?

I left a long response, and thought I’d share it here.

For the record, I believe fulfillment/happiness is easily possible, but you have to be a “weirdo” to have it.

Once you’ve embarked on the self-improvement journey, the world appears so… strange.

Why is it so normal to eat chips & candy, which are packed with nothing but cocaine-like sugar and processed chemicals? Why is it normal to sit around and derp on a TV box all day?

I think it’s because of the “herd” mentality. Most people remain trapped because they find safety in numbers, when these days those who are safe are willing to stand out.

The truly normal human walks down the street eating apples, not chips. The truly normal person avoids excessive TV & media. The truly normal person approaches attractive members of the opposite sex, rather than always wondering “what if.”

Here was my response to “why does the world seem so F*CKED?”

Here are some of my guesses:

1. Terrible diet. Yes, bad food causes anxiety and depression. It certainly did for me and it’s well documented that eating excess sugar reduces focus, happiness, sleep quality, and increases anxiety, etc the list goes on. 

My diet is now fruits, veggies, healthy meat only (not McDonald’s, even considering trying no meat), nuts, seeds, etc I try to be natural. 

Now I’ve so much energy and focus it’s crazy. I can’t believe I grew up eating so much crap fast food and sugar. That is not healthy. 

Book to read: the ultramind solution. 

2. The internet. People are ruining their ability to focus. Constant stimulation also increases anxiety. Furthermore social networks create an unhealthy air of comparison; you think everyone is living a dream life when in fact you see only snapshots of their week.

The internet is also preventing people from having real social interaction. We are social creatures and meant to be in groups. Most people are losing friends and isolating themselves. Their social circles are becoming their school or work groups, which is of course fake. You can’t be real with your work social circle.   

Book to read: the shallows 

3. Lack of exercise. I don’t have a book recommendation here, but you can do your own research on the stunning effects exercise has. 

It increases focus, reduces depression, reduces anxiety, increases health, increases optimism, the list goes on. 

Most people in America wake up, walk to their car, sit in their car, walk to their office, sit in their office, then go home and sit and watch TV. 

It is said that exercise, if it could be packaged into a pill, would be a “miracle pill.” The list of diseases it prevents is extensive. 

YouTube this: “what I’ve learned exercise.”

4. Poor sleep. Blue light from technology prevents good sleep. Most people don’t have good sleep hygiene. 

YouTube this: “what I’ve learned sleep.”

5. Terrible schooling. America’s school system, and most school systems, are God-awful. They teach almost nothing of real value. Source? I’ve traveled the world making money online and 5% of what I learned in school is valuable. The most important things are not taught or even known. 

Kids are forced to be in school all fucking day learning stuff they’ll never use. I’d love to talk more about this, but I think most adults could agree. 

They are pushed into University before they even know what they want to do. Rather than being encouraged to try things out first (such as job shadow a doctor) they are funneled into expensive University. 

They then rack up debt, which now can’t be forgiven, all in the name of “education.” My University (like almost all) required random classes to graduate. You have to fulfill random bs requirements. Like yes, learning about prehistory was SO HELPFUL for my internet business >_>

Finally the amount of work pushed onto kids is ridiculous. If you can’t teach kids in 8 hours a day, then you’re a failure, a horrible teacher. Teachers create boring, non-engaging lessons then give their students hours of homework. Even a little homework in each class adds up to hours.

Is it that kids have “ADHD” or that we are expecting them to work away their childhood?

Can YOU work 12 hour focused days with minimal socializing and no exercise?

Schooling and University may have been useful back in the day but it hasn’t evolved with our evolving world. It horrifies me how much time I lost in my life to school for things I’ll never use (or have forgotten). 

It would be considered torture too make an adult work all day perfectly. The fact this is requested of young kids is ridiculous. If we taught a bit more efficiently and let the kids enjoy life, they’d actually learn more. 

6. Lack of self care. Finally, no one is ever taught self care. How do you heal from a break up? How do you make new friends? What do you do when you’re burning out? 

I wish I was taught these things. Instead we live in a go go go society that glorifies working your life away for some arbitrary notion of “success.” 

One weekly massage can greatly increase your work productivity. Yoga can make you happy. Cold showers can heal injuries. Meditation for just 20 minutes a day can give you that peace you’ve always wanted. Literally being in nature has been scientifically proven to heal injuries faster. But these aren’t taught in school or by anyone. 

In nature, we would not have worked so hard as we do now. Isn’t that funny? Yes we live longer, and can prevent diseases, but we have also created our own diseases; we’ve created a way to burn us out and make us suffer, just in a completely new way. 

We live in a society disconnected from reality. We eat shit food, don’t exercise like our bodies are designed to, we are constantly comparing ourselves and ruining our brains with the internet, we are burning out from ever increasing workloads (and useless schooling), and then expect somehow we will be happy. 

And because of the herd mentality most people have, it’s unlikely everyone will change anytime soon. 

Happiness (or fulfillment) IS possible but if you want to be happy you have to be weird. 

When everyone is at a party drinking alcohol and eating shit food, you have to be taking Ginger shots and eating a banana. 

When everyone is posting their life on social media, you have to stay in reality and be careful of the internet’s effects. 

When everyone doesn’t exercise, you have to run miles and hit the gym. 

When everyone uses their phones or TVs before bed, you have to create a night and morning routine. 

When everyone expects University and school to bring them prosperity, you must keep learning and discover the real secrets of life and abundance. 

When everyone is burning out, you have to go on a meditation retreat, do some yoga, get a massage, and find a group of friends to share some laughs with… And maybe realize there’s more to life than the hustle. 

Happiness is possible. These days, you’ve just gotta be a weirdo to have it.

Believing in Myself Again

A couple months ago when I arrived back in Phoenix from Thailand, I had completely burnt out.

I had lost a lot of belief in myself, and was completely disconnected from “who I was.” I didn’t understand what I needed, and I got trapped in “future fantasies” (such as moving to Vegas and everything magically being perfect).

Thankfully, I didn’t move to Vegas or Portland. Instead I chilled out and allowed myself to ride the waves of laziness & sadness in Phoenix.

Had I actually went to either of those places, the cycle would’ve continued. I would’ve ran from my feelings, remained unhappy, and then perhaps switched to another place… then another, and then another!

Staying in Phoenix for the past couple months has really helped me “unwind” and figure some things out internally. You might be able to take some lessons and apply them to your own life.

Doses of Inspiration 

Slowly my inspiration & ideas-generating self has been resurfacing. It’s been really refreshing getting this sense of freedom and clarity.

Unfortunately it never lasts long. As I’m writing this now, I’ve been hit with a dose of inspiration, which is amazing.

Recently my “doses of inspiration” have been getting longer and longer. It’s not just inspiration I’m feeling, but also a clear mind, comfort from a routine, and connection with a new, deep friend I’ve made in Phoenix.

Yoga & working out has also been extremely helpful. At first I was very resistant to yoga for two reasons:

First, for whatever reason I unconsciously associated it as a feminine thing. Men reading this, I dare you to try a yoga class… running 3 miles is fucking easier, and I’m a long-distance runner so I literally mean that.

Second, a lot of uncomfortable emotions would arise & release during the yoga process. My first few sessions ended in several tears. I think we men are afraid to be emotional because we want to appear “macho” and “strong.” Unfortunately that leads to emotional repression.

Yoga is a deeply emotional experience, and it’s helped bring a lot of clarity, peace, and healing into my life. It’s been helping those doses of inspiration get just a bit longer.

Today I was listening to “Lost LeBlanc,” a YouTube traveler. I found the content suddenly very inspiring, much like how before I started my world travel & make-money-online journey.

It reminded me of who I am and what I want, and it made me think of a lot of things which I won’t be able to share all here.

I am reminded that I do want to travel, but now I’m scared. There are also other reasons.

Fear of Travel

When I would get these doses of inspiration to go scuba diving in the Philippines, go surfing in Bali, or live on a Thai island, they would be ate up by fears and insecurities.

Is it not funny how I’ve traveled for 1.5 years+, and just now I’m getting a fear of things “going wrong?”

Well, something did go very wrong and that was this: I was living in Sofia, Bulgaria for 7 months and then a visa got rejected. I had to unexpectedly leave with one week’s notice.

I was deeply in love with a Bulgarian girl, and we definitely matched very well. The whole “getting kicked out thing” was too much for us to handle, so it was only inevitable we fell apart over the next 4 months.

Also what led to the dissolution of the relationship was a string of crazy events which happened in my life. My mom almost passed away, I began having $ problems, and I was in way too many countries & cities.

I got super bogged down from the lack of routine, and a lot of the traveling I did then was done out of necessity, not actual desire. I never wanted to leave Bulgaria. The right decision would’ve been to travel to Thailand then, before travel burnout, but I chose Cyprus to stay close to my then-girlfriend in Europe.

With me flying to North America to see my mom, then back to Europe to be with my then-girlfriend, and some other craziness, I had been in so many places that it got to be too much. This no doubt negatively affected the relationship (sorry ex!).

I guess unconsciously I’ve been terrified of things going so horribly wrong again, which is why I’ve just been chilling in Phoenix, not doing too much (I can’t believe it’s been 2 months!).

Taking Responsibility

While things did “go wrong,” I also responded to them in a bad way. I didn’t try to make friends, party, grow the business, or take care of myself (when I really needed a massage or something!).

In the future I’d respond to an event like this in so much a better way, or if I fell in love in a country I’d work on a more proper visa and a long-term plan rather than extending a tourist visa and hoping for the best.

Taking responsibility starts with taking action today, and I’ve been slowly taking more and more action, starting with talking to more girls and doing sales in my business again.

Because I had stopped believing in myself for a little while, despite logically knowing I could easily get more clients, I took on a new client (an old friend) and this work relationship went sour very fast. They’re currently owning me almost $1k which they can’t pay due to their fucked up business problems. Some other crazy things (think decades in prison bad) have been going on in that company too.

Just today I sent in the cancellation of the contract letter, and it feels like a huge burden has been lifted off of my shoulders!

I also have began making sales videos to try acquire new clients starting last Monday. I feel very scared and nervous, but I know it’s what to do.

Letting Go of the Past

You know that whole “getting kicked out of Bulgaria” thing I keep talking about? That was in June of 2018. Yes, 9 months ago.

It blows my mind how much time has passed, and it’s an absolute blur of everything that happened in between then.

In 9 months I’ve gotten kicked out of a country, been in 10+ countries, haven’t been in one city for longer than a month (even here in Phoenix I’ve had to make trips to Chicago), had a huge surgery, crashed a motorcycle, tried to make a relationship work, tried to move to another country (Germany), and broken up with a girl I was so certain was “the one.”

That’s a lot! Many days I’ve woken up still dreaming about that beautiful month in May.

My ex had gotten me an incredible gift, things were epic between us, I had a great life, I was very happy. I guess it was more emotional pain than I could handle, so I had to go hermit-mode for the past 2 months to process my emotions of all this past craziness (and do lots of repeat writing about it).

I’m learning to let this go and transform into new happy times. It’s still hard visualizing another girl, but I’m at least trying to let go and move on.

One huge thing I learned is the concept of limits:

Knowing Your Limits 

I went through all of this very logically, without regard for my emotions. This inevitably led to my burnout and falling apart in the relationship too.

I never really took the time to care for myself as if I was another person. That’s kind of what taking care of yourself really is, is your “conscious self” taking care of your “emotional self.”

You can’t control your emotions as they respond to events that happen to you, but you can consciously choose to react to them in a certain way.

That doesn’t mean you carry on as if nothing has happened. I’ve found some of the most therapeutic things to be some of the least recommended things- for example, running hard & long while crying to sad music. For some reason the sad music + combination of working out makes it easier for me to process my emotions.

If I can do that for 20-30 minutes in the morning, then usually the rest of the day is pretty awesome because I’m emotionally recharged.

The most important thing I’ve learned here is I have limits, and you do too!

Being in so many countries, going through a tough surgery alone, a break up, and all of these things is psychological torture and nothing else. There’s only so much you can endure before you need to start fixing something.

I now know of some of my “limits” and how to take better emotional care of myself in the future. Now I just need a bit more confidence before I can start traveling & living life to the fullest again!

Living Authentically

A lot of what I have had to do in the past year has felt like necessity, but not something I’ve genuinely wanted to do (such as leaving Bulgaria). Obviously I wouldn’t dare ignore the laws of a nation in favor of authenticity, but while playing by the rules you still have to take care of yourself!

What I’m trying to do now is make myself actually happy, rather than getting trapped in internet addiction (such as browsing Reddit & YouTube mindlessly).

At the same time, I’m giving myself permission to browse and derp around- I don’t have to be perfectly productive 100% of the time.

And that being said, I will say I do need to cut down on some things such as Reddit. I need to do things which genuinely fulfill me, but I still feel a bit like a hermit that just wants to hide from the world and do nothing… Don’t worry, I’m coming out of my shell.

I feel very scared to do certain things, namely go visit some new countries, or go to Asia, or get a visa to live in Bulgaria (and residency). I’m taking slow steps towards it.

Through all of this, I wasn’t living the “right way.” I had “lost my edge” as a result of what I endured. I didn’t take care of myself. Now I’m reclaiming “that edge” which got me to where I was, and it feels great!

I can’t wait to soon start traveling the right way- visiting places I want to visit, doing things I want to do, growing the business, living free, etc. I’ve been much too rigid & stressed recently.

And again, a lot of that is anxiety from everything falling apart before. Part of it was government BS and other unfortunate life events, but a lot of it was me responding with my own anxiety.

What I’m Doing Now

Right now I’m working on a few things:

First, I’m trying to get another client or two to make more money. I don’t need a lot more, just a bit more to make things financially better.

Second, I’m trying to be more social & put myself out there. This has been successful and I’ve made some new connections. I’ve made one new, very deep friend and we’ve been hanging out often and having a great time. This has been super refreshing.

Third, I’ve been practicing yoga & working out hard. This helps me emotionally process, and re-energize.

Fourth, I’ve been sleeping on a schedule!!! This is so huge for me!! I actually have been able to wake up some mornings instead of being jet lagged fucked 24/7!

Fifth, and most importantly, I’m working on trying to get a visa & residency in Bulgaria. I intend to make Bulgaria my “home base,” and then travel around from there. For example, I could travel to Asia, other European countries, etc. but Sofia will always be the place I return to when I need a “home.”

I guess USA (Phoenix) could kind of be that too, but the lifestyle I have in Bulgaria is a lot better than the one I currently have in USA.

Believing in Myself

Though I am scared, and that is a hard truth to admit, I am starting to believe in myself again.

I’m starting to believe that it’s okay to go to Indonesia or Thailand, and that if I want to stay, I will find a way. If things go wrong I’ll be strong enough to handle it but now I know how to take care of my emotions, making myself even stronger.

For the past few months I’ve tried rationalizing living in USA to avoid visa & immigration problems, but the truth is I do have a thirst for adventure, and want to surf & scuba dive and adventure and all of that. It’s just that deep down I’m afraid of visa problems and $ problems.

With everything I do I’m believing in myself. It feels scary but it feels… relieving? It feels empowering. I’m starting to get “doses of inspiration” which last longer and longer, and I realize that I do have this entire world and can achieve anything I want to- it just takes a bit more effort than I thought before, and I have to make sure I take better care of myself rather than act like this is a video game and I’m invincible.

That’s all I wanted to share with you all today.

I’ve been through a lot of craziness but now I’m starting to reclaim everything. I underestimated the power of emotions & tough events. Now I’m having my good ole’ self creeping through, but this time I’m a bit more mature & wise of the world.

Who knows what will happen next, but I’m getting itchy to do some exciting things soon..

Go with the flow (getting what you really want, faster)

Today I was driving to a coffee shop, and it was 4PM in midtown so traffic was quite busy.

Suddenly someone in front of me braked- hard. So I braked, hard. A big truck was pulling out in front of him, and they were trying to make a left turn.

The problem is this truck had to cross 3 lanes of traffic, then hope the other side was clear too!

Needless to say it was not intelligent on the driver’s part to halt this traffic to get across. Drivers in the middle lane had to stop, and then he jumped past the far left lane to get by.

To better picture what happened, I was driving on the far right lane of a 3 lane road. The other side of the street has 3 lanes too. A driver was attempting to take a left turn, thereby having to cross the 3 lanes I was going but also hope the other 3 lanes were clear.

When I looked into the truck, I saw a look of stress on the driver’s face. The problem is, I often see this look on people.

In fact, way too many people aren’t using their brains while driving and thus are so stressed + taking longer to arrive at their destination.

Keep reading, this is going to make sense in a moment.

Don’t Turn Left…

It baffles me how many “left turns” people make while driving, and I’m not talking about the left turns you make at a stoplight or stop sign.

You know when you have a stop sign, but you need to cross a 2-way road so you have to yield to both the traffic going left/right? That’s what I’m referring to.

Making a left turn in these cases makes no sense yet EVERYONE does it and it blows my mind because there’s a much more simple (and safer) solution!

I recently discovered that it was often faster (and significantly safer) to just take a right, then take a U-Turn at the next stoplight or left turn.

I know this might be a bit hard to understand, but just try picture it. For my non-American/Canadian friends, this may be hard to picture because this occurs less in Europe based on my experience driving.

The problem here is that people are fighting 2 flows of traffic compared to one at a time.

If you need to take a left turn on a 2-way street, first you must yield to the traffic approaching you on your left then you must merge onto or hope the traffic on your right is clear.

During rush hour & often throughout the day, this is dangerous and time-consuming. Back when I would attempt this (as too many people do), you’d often spend several minutes in the car waiting for a clear moment to drive across, then you’d have to put the pedal to the metal because you were only clear for so long.

In the example I mentioned in the beginning of this post, the driver didn’t even give a fuck- he just made our traffic stop, then barely merged onto his lane without getting hit.

The Flow Isn’t Always Direct

So where am I even going with this? My point is that “the flow” doesn’t always make sense.

In my driving example, it is sometimes more time-efficient and always safer to take a right then take a U-Turn when you need to take a left onto a two-way street without stop lights or stop signs protecting you from the two-way street.

What’s best for you often isn’t the “direct” approach. Every single day I’m driving I see drivers young and old waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and then making a dangerous left turn onto an active 2-way street because they never stop to consider if there’s a safer, faster, and overall better (less stress) option.

When I say “turn right,” that doesn’t mean you continue driving right. It’s a temporary deviation from the most direct path which gets you to your destination safer & hopefully faster.

By “going with the flow” and “letting go of the means” you get what you want (arriving at your destination) more efficiently (and happier).

Means vs. End

One of the biggest problems people have in life is their need to control the means to how they achieve their success or goals.

This is a terrible way to approach life.

What you need to do instead is define where you’re going (what is the destination?) then determine the quickest/smartest/fastest way to get there.

Again I reference my driving example: too many drivers are too focused on the means, which is taking a left because they have to go left. The wiser option is to consider your destination, then realize there are multiple ways to get to your destination. When driving in rush-hour traffic, it is more efficient to take a right then a U-turn than it is to cross 2 paths.

You can witness this insane behavior in all areas of life: for example, someone is obsessed with one diet to heal their obesity. Rather than focusing on their end-goal & adjusting the means, they obsess over the means.

A big one in society is the whole “university” scam. The fact is for a lot of people going to University is a waste of time. Now, it’s very useful for some people & professions, but for many people they’re funneled into it because teachers & educators are too obsessed with the means (studying, as one path to success) rather than the end (financial prosperity).

Focus on Ends, Release Means

One of my current “Ends” is finding a way to get a visa to live in Bulgaria and subsequently get residency. One of my means (getting a freelance visa) didn’t work out because I’m missing one document. I’m upset because I wasted a flight to Chicago & back + accommodation to not get my end!

If I were obsessed with the means, I would obsess with getting the missing document. However a more logical approach reveals that it is unwise to attempt to obtain the document.

In order to get my missing document & live in Bulgaria I will need B1 proficiency in Bulgarian. I currently speak A1 or A2 1-2 levels below.

If I were obsessed with the means, I’d move to Bulgaria on a tourist visa, study like crazy for 3 months, then apply for this document & return to the USA. However, I know that this isn’t wise and there are currently 4 other “Means” I can use to attempt to live in Bulgaria.

It is more time & cost efficient to attempt these other means than it is to be persistent in this one mean.

Now, note here that I say not to be persistent on one particular mean, but I am being persistent on my End.

I want residency in Bulgaria, and I’ve already flown to apply for it twice in Chicago and each time I came back to Phoenix with nothing. Every single time I don’t move forward toward my End, I adjust my Means and re-attack.

One problem I see with people is they obsess over one “means.” They want to be rich, so they pursue an expensive degree. I’m not saying an expensive degree won’t get them rich, just that there are other paths to the End than that!

Another situation I see is someone wants “to travel the world” so they become a flight attendant, or get involved with some travel agency. Or they become a pilot. They “travel” by the technical term, but they never really get to explore destinations they fly to!

Again, these individuals focused on one mean rather than realizing there are multiple means to an end.

Whatever you do, focus on the end, but release the means. How you achieve your goal doesn’t matter and you need to relax your death-grip on the obsession to achieve it in a certain way. Stay persistent on what you’re trying to achieve, but be willing to try all kinds of different things to succeed!

Know Your End

And finally, make sure you even know what your end is. I meet too many people in University still trying to figure out their degree.

Another thing that happens is people pursue a “Business Degree” but they’re not exactly sure what to do with it. It is better to meditate alone in nature and wait until you know what you want from life than it is to aimlessly take action.

Success is the result of calibrated action. If you do things in a certain way, you will get a certain result, 100% of the time. It’s a science, much like baking.

If in baking you mix the ingredients the wrong way or you substitute an ingredient or you just grab random ingredients and mix random things, it’s unlikely you’ll get good results.

Before embarking on anything, make sure your end goal is clearly defined. Yes, still have fun with the means, still enjoy the journey, etc. but also the journey & means are most enjoyed when you know you’re actually making progress by knowing what you’re moving towards.

Good luck!