Category Archives: Finding Fulfillment

Go Through The Pain of Moving On!

Sometimes in life, there are only 2 options: little pain now, big pain long-term, or big pain now but heal long-term.

Going through the very painful short-term period can really suck. “Short-term” can also mean months or years, and long-term meaning years or decades!

Because me and so many friends are going through break ups now this post will mainly be focused around that, but you could also apply it to something like getting good business skills.

Break Ups & Pain

Sometimes someone close to us (a lover, family member, or close friend) may cross a boundary or do something to hurt us so bad, or it may not simply be meant to be.

Human emotions get tricky at this point: we really want to stick around because we care for that person, but we also know that for ourselves we need to move on.

The problem comes with moving on- it’s also painful! Even in the most physically abusive relationships, the victim often struggles with moving on because of those nagging feelings of caring for the bad guy or girl.

What’s really hard too is when the pain is so long that you can’t really see the light at the end of the tunnel.

If you had a quick 2 month relationship, it won’t be so hard to get over as a 1 year relationship that also had a rocky break up with intermittent contact following.

Getting over the break up in that case could almost take a whole year! Even if the biggest of boundaries were crossed, that literally involved life or death, it’s only human to still care and want the best for that person (and not want to go).

Well I’m here to say to keep going and push through those break up feelings. Cry, release, then do something awesome or commit to a new skill or goal. Work out and upgrade your body.

Whether you broke up or were broken up with, or it was mutual, or something complicated and in between you need to move on because the past is in the past!

You are not the person you were in the relationship. You are changing and so are they. You can be better than you were before, and find something better…

Of course it doesn’t feel that way. It sucks. When you’ve been sad for so long, you don’t really remember what “normal” feels like.

Those happy times fade into blissful memories. It feels as if the world is ending, and you’ll never have anything like that again.

Then one day, you’ll have a quick moment of clarity… the pain will subside. Will you be finally over them?

Moments after the feelings of pain and suffering will resurface. It was just a trick of the mind, perhaps.

Then one day it’ll occur again, this time for a few seconds longer. Maybe you’ll start to get this every single day.

You’ll still cry, you’ll still hurt, and only God knows why this is all happening as it is…

You’ll still never understand it… but that’ll be okay. Some things in life are a mystery. Some things can’t really be explained or understood.

Why must we experience break ups? Why did they cross that boundary? Why didn’t it work out?

Maybe if you did this, or they just didn’t do that, or the Universe would’ve given you two a BIT better luck…

This is the hardest part to go through. I’ve tried so hard to understand my own break up. I’ve self-attacked so much, and combed through my every mistake and personality flaw.

I’ve tried to focus on every one of her flaws, and the boundaries crossed. I’ve made myself angry and bitter.

I’ve focused on the bad luck, the bad timing, how the Universe which seemed to put us together so perfectly tore us apart with such ferocity. I felt like a leaf in the wind, as if this was all some cosmic joke.

The truth is we’ll never understand why these horrible, painful, and devastating things happen.

The best we can do is pick up the pieces and go search for something new- a new memory, a new place, a new person, a new you.

It really sucks, and even as you move on you won’t really understand it. I know I don’t.

Even though I have those moments of feeling normal and good, I still often feel that pain in my stomach, the tears in my eyes, and the confusion of… why?

As I write this now it all comes up, this endless pit of pain… Yet at the same time, I’m somehow healing. I don’t really understand it.

What was so perfect, what felt meant to be, is now gone. Those happy memories will always have a space in my mind. I felt so young and fresh, and even though it’s been just a year, I feel so much more mature and rough around the edges.

I’m trying to retain the joy, the free spirit, and determination and all other good things… but let’s be real, sometimes you just need to cry on your bed while listening to sad music all curled up.

It happened as it did, as fucked up as it is. Sometimes shit just happens. It’s all too easy to keep your mind in the past, as if reliving the memories and re-thinking it over and over will change how it is now.

In the end, you will move on. I’m moving on. It feels good. Then the pain will come back.

Recovery is not linear. It’s not easy. It’s not fun. Somehow, for some reason we may only know in death, this pain has to be walked through.

Keep walking. Keep crying. Stay true. Upgrade yourself. Live an awesome life.

Just keep walking through it, as hard as it is. One day I promise it’ll all be better.

-Michael

Leveling up in Life

I think I’ve realized recently what it really means to “level up” in life:

It means that you’re comfortable being independent, making decisions on your own, and asserting what you want completely.

It also means that you stop caring about what others think, and look at it instead as simply feedback- though often a reflection of who that person is rather than who you are.

Go to the end of this post to see my final thoughts, if you just want the quick bullet points.

For example, Donald Trump. Hate him, love him, shut up. Look at him objectively: he takes so much criticism yet gives 0 fucks… why else is he the president?

You can hate him all you want but who else has the balls to act as he did so confidently, and to assert what he wanted despite all the resistance?

Trump was determined to become the president, period. He didn’t care about the resistance or competition or anything. He stayed focused and got it.

Does it really matter that half of America and all of the world hates him? No. He’s president, Hillary isn’t, and neither are you.

Let’s switch gears out of politics.

A better example would be “that guy” at the bar who goes to pick up chicks, and everyone is like “wow look at this thirsty dude he’s learning pick up girls stuff” or whatever… but who goes home that night with the hot girl?

I experienced similar in my own life when I wanted to get girls, and also when I wanted to start my online business. You can’t follow the masses and be independent & free.

Recently I published a post called blinding pain & forgotten pleasure, about how the break up with my ex really fucked me up.

Some of you responded with such kind words & awesomeness, I really appreciate it. I also had a conversation opened with a friend where I was talking about a stressful situation in my life currently- some changes that are happening to travel plans and timing between various things.

It was through that conversation that I really got some clarity on what it means to live your life authentically.

One huge thing I’ve learned recently is letting go of validation COMPLETELY. For example, it’s a lot easier to pick up girls at the bar when you’re surrounded with all of your friends to laugh with.

Going out alone is a whole ‘nother story. Almost all of my friends I made in Bali all had to leave at kind of a similar time, which was frustrating to me.

I wanted to party last night but didn’t go because I didn’t want to be alone… but then I realized just how silly that was.

First, I am not attached completely to Bali. Worst case scenario (which is unrealistic) is that they put my face on a poster all over Bali to laugh at me, in which case I buy a flight out and BOOM my reputation is reset.

Second, only good things can come. So what if a couple groups or chicks rejects me (or you).

Does every rejection really matter when you get what you want?

When I was with my ex, I really didn’t care about all of the other girls who rejected me or that I rejected. None of the prior incompatibilities mattered because I was celebrating the fruits of my labor- which was going to the mall to meet girls.

So I’ve observed in myself how I have been resistant to doing some things alone, namely picking up girls. I may also have some baggage in that topic of it being “bad” or something like that, and one person I was talking to made me realize just how everyone was kind of shaming each other for the other’s primal desires.

I realized in contemplation, and in receiving bad advice, that it doesn’t fucking matter what anyone thinks. Part of leveling up in life is becoming more certain of your own choices, and not needing validation of others.

It’s also walking your own path and not compromising for others unless that’s a really authentic thing to do.

On the OCEAN personality test (Google big 5 by Jordan Peterson) I rank very high on agreeableness, which is why I’ve never got a ticket from a cop- I’m just too nice.

But on the other hand, I’ve been maybe too agreeable in my life. I’ve given to people who haven’t given back. I gave so much to my ex just to have a huge boundary crossed in Cyprus, that now I’m realizing I simply can’t agree with anyone anymore unless it fits my own agenda.

Now I feel like in a way I’m “becoming one,” or in another way of explaining it taking care of some little kid inside of me.

Back to the agreeable thing- me and a girl planned to meet in Thailand and adventure in Southeast Asia together. Suddenly she had a thing come up, and she wouldn’t be able to meet me until a month and a half later.

This created quite the trouble for me because it messed up the whole travel plan which I had going for me. I immediately thought of a couple different choices, and neither were entirely satisfactory.

As I voiced my messages to an acquaintance (the one who gave bad advice, funny enough) I realized something: why was I even worried about adjusting my plans for anyone?

I’m single now, and even though I connected very deeply with this girl, we aren’t together and there’s no promise of anything.

I realized I have to be disagreeable now. I’m just going to do what I want, and she can fit into my life’s plan or she doesn’t have to come at all. It doesn’t matter to me, as long as I’m living true to myself.

Is that careless? A voice in my head tells me partly so, but as I strip away the layers of ego and “useless thinking” (let’s be real, 99% of thoughts are repeat gibberish) I realize that maybe what I thought to be “selfish & careless” was actually just self-care.

Some people in the world aren’t sensitive enough, others are too sensitive. I’m probably too sensitive, and need to become more disagreeable. So that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.

And with my ex, a part of me for so long deep down had always hoped that we would get back together, somehow. I gave so much, even after the break up, to show I was sorry for my own mistakes and that I was willing to improve. This was unconscious, too (the hoping of getting back together) even as I put on the facade of trying to move on.

But what has came of that? A huge boundary of mine was still crossed which potentially no one could come back from. I forgive, but that doesn’t mean I would allow myself to be put into another situation like that.

Now I am doing my best to kill that side of me clinging onto what was.

I feel some resistance towards meeting girls again. I notice in myself how when I know in my head that I should make a move, my body just doesn’t do anything. It still feels like cheating, or like I’m “tainting myself” for when I go back to her- but it’s DONE!

Even now as I write this, I slow down, the pain comes up, and I go, “damn.” But no more. I refuse to be hindered by such resistance. I AM moving on. I AM living an awesome life.

So I’m going to have an awesome rest of my time here in Bali, and I’m learning how to relax and be more comfortable in my own skin. I’m more okay with my own decisions and needing less validation from others.

I am really believing (at least for me at this point in my life) that so much of success & fulfillment from life comes from your ability to take criticism & face fear ALONE.

Anyone can pick up a girl with 3 buddies cheering you on. Anyone can start a business when you’re born into a family of businessmen.

But who can show up to a foreign country all alone and go meet girls to hook up with?

For the record, that’s my goal now too. Just to meet awesome chicks to hook up with. Not in a degrading sense (ie. fuck this bitch), but just in the sense that there’s very little attachment (connect with an awesome girl I can appreciate, date, etc. but not have the “weight” of a relationship). We can be together while we’re together, but I want to go back to Bulgaria soon so I’m gonna do that.

No compromises for anyone. Maybe this is a bit of an extreme, but after being in a very long relationship and compromising so much, enjoying the freedom of independence is exactly what I need to do.

I NEED to move on from my ex, and the whole prospect of hooking up & adventuring sounds exciting, so I think I’m just gonna do that, and in doing so kill that side of me that thinks there’s any chance of getting with my ex.

And there’s no one to do that with, so I’m just going to do it alone. Every day I’m feeling a bit more comfortable in my own skin, and I think the beauty of this break up, which has been so long and tough, is that I’m “falling in love” with myself… not in a narcissistic way but in the sense that I’m just being independent and doing what I want.

The rough plan now is to stay in Bali another week (or two), then go to Thailand, probably Chiang Mai because it’s awesome (last time I couldn’t appreciate it being heartbroken, having a surgery, being isolated, and crashing a scooter) and hook up and explore the area.

I have a list of goals to accomplish in Asia, some here in Bali, and some can be done in Thailand.

In a month or two, probably sometime in late June, I’ll go back to Bulgaria and stay for 2-3 months.

The friend who gave bad advice told me not to go to Thailand and hook up with girls because I’d “get too used to lots of girls loving me” and therefore not be able to pick up girls anywhere else.

It sounds silly, but any white guy (or English-speaking American) knows that Southeast Asia is a “man’s market.” I never thought there was such a thing as “dating culture” or a “dating market” too, but there is!

Some have tried to make me feel it’s a hollow desire, but then I thought about it: is it really? Or is everyone just running around making everyone else feel the same way, when everyone deep down just wants lots of girls/boys/whatever too?

And of course some people want a girlfriend/boyfriend, but that’s just as “shallow” (if it is) as wanting a hook up because the presupposition is that the boy/girl will fulfill things for you that you can’t on your own (whether it be sex, emotional needs, etc.).

Enough on that topic. I’ll probably go back to Bulgaria sometime in June or July, and I told a girl I’d meet her in Bangkok but that’ll have to wait. The plans changed from her, and so now they change from me.

You know, I just realized something too: so much of the important stuff in life is repressed or unspoken.

Let’s be real, you want a girlfriend/boyfriend, awesome sex, great emotional attachment, lots of money, fame, etc. yet for some reason society says that’s so “dark.”

In America particularly we are so sexually repressed, I’ve only met a few people who I can really talk openly with about sex. I can’t comment on Bulgaria or anywhere else in Europe, but based on general observation it seems that Europe is generally more open (albeit repressed in other ways).

Going for what you want in life is not dark or evil, as long as it is done ethically.

Some people will criticize you, but as long as what you’re doing doesn’t hurt anyone else (ie. in the case of hook-ups you should never promise something which you can’t fulfill) then you’re good. Haters gonna hate.

I made a note about this the other day: “I think success is just when you fail so many times or receive so much criticism that it no longer bothers you, and so you can carry on doing the things that’ll make you successful to actually be successful.”

Only now do am I internalizing this.

I want girls, parties, and epic social life? Gotta do it alone, all my acquaintances here left and the one remaining friend had business problems so now he can’t hangout at all anymore.

Want money? Gotta do it alone.

Of course, it always helps to have friends or people to do it with, but ideally you should be at the point where you don’t need that.

Dependence is needing people, independence is not needing people, and we need to be interdependent. Basically this means be independent, as you also fulfill your needs with other people (ie. you need a client to make $, you need a partner to have sex, so on, and you shouldn’t NEED validation or need them).

Final Thoughts

To be successful you need to be able to go at it alone. While other people do help, they can also pull you downward. For example, if you want to meet dating partners, you should be able to go at it alone. In my case I should approach girls alone and not rely on the “group energy” to give me any confidence.

Just yesterday I did my first solo-approach on the beach while working out… it was scary but exhilarating.

In doing this, you reconnect with yourself more and more and become more comfortable in your own skin. Group confidence is fake- everyone has it. Think of riots for example. True confidence is standing alone.

You should also just follow your own desires. Want hook-ups? Go for it. Want money? Start a business. Stop worrying about judgement and validation from others. Most of it is stupid anyways.

In my case I was frustrated at the dating life here in Bali, and considering switching back to Thailand because Thailand is a “better dating market” for people like me. So I’m gonna fulfill my Bali goals so I have the proper experience here, go out and meet girls, and then if I’m not satisfied I’ll head over Thailand to achieve my dating goals.

Some people have tried to make me feel it’s “wrong” to want to go to a place or do a thing like hook-ups, but upon reflection I realized that’s just their problem & repression, not mine. It’s totally okay to go for what you want, no matter how freaky it is. Or in your case it could be more simple like starting a certain job, or studying a particular thing others disagree with.

You have to be disagreeable in life, especially if you’re agreeable like me. While compromises are sometimes necessary, sometimes you need to say “fuck it” and walk your own path.

My example is an American girl & I were going to travel together, but the dates got changed by her and this messed up my plans. Now I’m deciding rather than accommodating her schedule, I’m just gonna do what I want to do- she can fit into it or not come. I’m okay either way.

By following your own path you’re truly connecting with yourself. We all have desires & wishes. In my case I don’t want to go to Bulgaria in Winter, I’d rather go in late Summer or early Fall (which I wouldn’t be able to do if I met the girl). I also don’t want to go for a short time in the summer, I want to stay at least 2 months.

Being disagreeable is hard but feels very energizing because you’re claiming what you want. Seriously, don’t live your life on anyone else’s terms! Note: there are nuances to this, and if you are a particularly disagreeable person you may have to be more flexible. I’m too agreeable, so this advice pertains to me. There is a spectrum!

Face fear & criticism alone, realize it is pointless. There won’t always be people to back you up.

Example: yesterday I wanted to party but no one could come. I distracted myself then passed out instead. Next time I will show up alone, make friends alone, and meet girls alone.

I was afraid of being judged/criticized/afraid (why? I don’t know) which doesn’t logically make sense, but being real we all feel the same.

To truly connect with yourself, it’s necessary that you follow your desires no matter what. Next time (probably tonight) I will just party alone, meet girls alone, or whatever.

All in all, reconnecting with yourself is so important especially after a break up. I’m too used to “us,” so much so that when I met someone I connected with I instantly tried to reschedule travel plans without consulting my own inner knowing what I wanted.

This includes friends too!! Example: in Phoenix only trying to meet girls when with the support of friends, instead of doing it alone.

Ultimately this is YOUR LIFE, so fucking live it! Travel alone. Meet boys/girls/whatever alone. Party alone. Of course, meet people & socialize, but the ultimate point is…

Don’t wait for other’s permission, time, availability, or be dependent in ANY way on other people in order to get what you want. Just follow your own desires, don’t worry about other’s judgement, take care of yourself, and LIVE AN AWESOME LIFE!!!

The World is like Water

The world is like water.

When it is still, we can see clearly.

When it is rough, you must learn to surf the waves.

Each wave a new experience- good or bad, or good and bad.

Like surfing, don’t let the waves overwhelm you- no matter how strong.

If you get afraid and lose sight of the breath as waves crash into you, then you may hastily try to breathe underwater- and drown.

When you relax and go with the flow, the waves cannot do anything to your inner stillness.

When you lose control and fall underwater, just relax until you resurface.

And one day, you’ll finally surf the wave to the shore.

Blinding Pain & Forgotten Pleasure

Note: this post was wrote on my flight from L.A. to Hong Kong, before arriving in Bali.

Sometimes when we go through emotionally difficult times, we become blinded from the pain and as a result forget that pleasure even exists.

The best current example I have for this are break ups- you are literally grieving as if they died, but they can also exist in your world still and thus rub salt onto the wound.

When the pain gets to be so much, it can be all too easy to forget that pleasure of any kind can exist.

Personally I’ve observed in myself through a lot of reflection in the past few months that I have a tendency to let this “black hole” take over me so much so that I stop living completely authentically and I let myself continually get hurt because I stop taking care of myself.

For example, in June of 2018 when I had to leave Bulgaria I slowly began a downward spiral when I felt like I was losing the happiest time of my life, and then boundaries in my relationship were crossed and I was very hurt.

I stopped actively trying to make new friends, I became workaholic (I’m actually gonna delete many of my YouTube videos from that time because I cringe), and I stopped doing what actually made me feel good.

In the last month of Bulgaria I had just started experimenting with yoga and was experiencing great joy from it. I stopped doing yoga though, even though I knew that it would be best for me, and I didn’t start it back up until December of 2018- 6 months later!

Travel fatigue wore me out, and I also had a not-so-well-planned surgery in Thailand which I definitely should’ve done in USA. I had 4 wisdom teeth removed… with no anesthesia and not even laughing gas. Obviously that was just a bit traumatic, especially being all alone & culture shocked.

Do you experience the same? I observe this in many others. Someone loses a job, then they let their relationship fall apart, and then their health starts deteriorating too.

I believe this human experience- the downward spiral- is the cause of many misery and the reason most people don’t make positive progress in their life. We are all ultimately going to face challenges in our life. Even the “perfect life” comes with challenges as your parents, grandparents, and loved ones will pass away at some point in life. There is no escaping our mortality, at least now.

Why is it that if we experience some pain in our life we let ourselves downward spiral so much?

My guess for this is it has to do with “blinding pain” and “forgetting pleasure.” When you experience something traumatic or go through an extended period of time, your brain loses the capacity to feel normal motivation and pleasure. Things appear bleak and dark, hence why it is so easy to continue letting things fall apart.

The pain also does not put your mind in a resourceful state. It has been proven that people who are happy are smarter- your brain functions better. When you experience brain, your intellect & creativity literally goes down a bit which also adds to the downward spiral.

In this way I feel it is SO important to have a great support network. I feel like most humans lack the proper support network though. I’m grateful to have some great friends, and it’s much easier to come out of downward spirals… IF I actually reach out to the support network (and that’s a whole story in and of itself, the most famous/popular people can still isolate themselves from their pain).

 With a great support network you can release your emotions and be reminded that joyous times have existed and will continue to exist in the future. Human touch & good energy is probably the best healing remedy.

Other than that, I’m not quite sure what exactly can be done to remedy the situation yet. I have observed in my life periods of “upward spirals” but also periods of “downward spirals.”

My guess is the thing with life is you have to learn how to manage the down moments so that they don’t become downward spirals. When you lose someone to death, experience a difficult break up, or any type of trauma, you must somehow heal from it but also during the healing process not let your life fall apart in other ways.

Again that’s much easier said than done. You will likely not even feel like true pleasure can exist, and you lose the ability to feel the same degree of motivation.

I’ve had several moments of inspiration & joy, but occasionally the pain of my ex starts to suck me back down, and in those moments I often forget just how amazing this world is, and just how much opportunity there is.

There is a whole world to see, money to be made, relationships to be had, and experiences to experience- but it’s hard to see that or feel that when pain is blinding you.

No matter what pain you’re going through, you just have to remind yourself that there is joy and while you should definitely tend to your emotions and release, you should also keep putting one foot in front of the other and have faith that better times are coming.

Pain blinds us. Sometimes you can’t even feel pleasure while in pain, or you have no desire for it. The brain is also much like a bone. If you break a bone you can’t walk on it until it’s at a certain point of healing, and the same is true for break ups- you can’t get back in contact until you’re sufficiently healed. I am not at that level and a quick moment of contact again really hurt and set me back a bit (however it was also good in a way now because things were made amicable).

When you’re in pain and forget that joy exists, just keep moving forward. Have faith. Look forward to all the joy which is coming because it will with time. It won’t always feel good, but I believe if you keep focusing towards it that it will come.

There’s just a bit of a lag between moving into the joy and actually feeling it. For the moment pain is blinding, pleasure is forgotten, but with persistence it will return.

Most importantly do not enter a downward spiral. Self-care should be the #1 thing taught in school probably, but of course no school (or any system as far as I know) teaches how to take care of yourself when shit this the fan.

Have you experienced blinding pain & forgotten pleasure? Let me know. If you have any thoughts on this, I’d love to hear.

I’m writing this fairly tired on a long flight from L.A. to Hong Kong, so it may not be as concise as I wished but the point is just that in pain we become blinded to pleasure, which can often lead to downward spirals. I’m still learning how to prevent that as it’s happened to me, and slowly I’m getting better with the practice of moving up despite downward pull.

-Michael

What is the “Meaning” of “Synchronicity?”

Recently a friend/reader responded to my “Follow Your Heart” post, specifically the parts about Universal Synchronicity & strange coincidences when you’re following your heart because the Universe is actually energetically connected. I also wrote a post completely about Universal Synchronicity which was referenced.

SIDENOTE: WHAT THE F*** THE PEOPLE BEHIND ME STARTED TALKING ABOUT SYNCHRONICITY IN THE WORLD, IMMEDIATELY WHEN I STARTED WRITING THIS!

Okay, I wish I had a damn recorder on me. For the past few weeks to month of my life, I’ve been living a lot more authentically, and Universal Synchronicity has been happening on the daily to the point that it’s not even surprising me anymore!

I could write a huge essay on every synchronicity that has happened, but I’ll save you the details. A short example would be just now, I decide to write this article and BAM! The people behind me in this coffee shop start going on about synchronicity in the world.

It’s happening so often it’s not even surprising anymore. But, what does it mean?

My friend/reader told me she just bought a one-way abroad from her country to be happy because she’s struggling to get over her ex. We both experienced break ups in the same month.

She was later scrolling her Facebook feed, and saw her ex was going to the same city abroad she was going to! This all happened after she read my posts on “Following Your Heart” (authenticity creating synchronicity) and “Universal Synchronicity.”

Coincidence? Step 1, decide to be happy. Buy ticket abroad. Step 2, read my blog posts on authenticity & synchronicity. Step 3, realize that your ex is going to the same place.

What does it mean? Well, I gave her a long response (as I always like to do) and thought that others could benefit from the long response to her.

The question was essentially, “what is the meaning of synchronicity?” For the sake of time, I’ll write my answers now, and then you can also read my response to her Email, which will be the section beneath this next one.

What is the Meaning of Synchronicity?

I feel like the meaning of synchronicity is open to interpretation in the moment, but the real answer always reveals itself in the end. Because we can’t always know what’s going on we sometimes just have to observe & continue with the flow.

Like many things in life, we don’t know the answer until it reveals itself. During the act, we are clueless. That’s part of the joy & beauty of life.

Sometimes the meaning of a synchronicity will be abundantly clear, whereas in other times it will be quite vague.

An example of a clear synchronicity would be me struggling to decide whether to stay on the beach or in the mountains in Bali. I was leaning towards the beach because I love surf. Then when I was feeling that, my yoga instructor told me “a restless mind is like the waves, and you must learn to surf the waves” (or something like that, not exact).

It instantly became clear that Canggu (the surf village on the beach) was definitely the right, most authentic and aligned choice for me.

Other synchronicity in my life has been less clear, but became clear later on. For example I noticed when I arrived back in Phoenix I instantly connected with a new friend who also was struggling with a break up.

Now I’ve realized just how much he’s helped me grown, and I’ve also helped answer questions about his own life which he never realized as well (such as personality theory & chronic pain healing).

I also have synchronicity in my life which I can’t make certain of, such as coincidences involving my ex, or meeting a girl I went out with over 2 years ago, who also strangely is getting over a recent break up also!

All that we can say certainly is that we indeed live in an energetic, ever-connected world. Any world traveler will tell you that because the degree of which I’ve traveled makes coincidences like what I’ve experienced too impossible to account for statistics. The energetic truth of this world becomes more apparent the more intent you get in your actions (authenticity) too.

When it comes to interpreting synchronicity, if the answer is not abundantly clear (and it should feel calm, not like you need to prove anything) then you should just let it be and not try to ascribe too much meaning to it prematurely. You don’t want to give false meaning to something which will later end up meaning something else!

At any rate, you can enjoy the synchronicity for what it is: energetic connection. In the case of my ex, as well as my friend’s ex, it could mean that we are meant to com back together, or that perhaps me & my reader are connected in some way because we are experiencing this thing together, OR in my opinion, which could very well be wrong, it means that we are still energetically connected to our exes.

Whether more or less is supposed to happen with our exes as a result of this energetic connection is up for time to reveal, but in the meantime we can all enjoy the dance of life.

In short, synchronicity is the proof of the world being energetic. It may also exist to help us realize that we can use “law of attraction” or visualize to harness these energies to manifest what we want.

Sometimes the meaning is abundantly clear. Sometimes it isn’t, but then you must have faith that it will show itself eventually. Be careful not to be too quick to come to a conclusion- take your time and the answer will reveal itself. Synchronicity does happen for a reason!

My Email Response

My email response is mostly the same but has some different examples / explanations. Note: some edits have been made to preserve confidentiality. Note 2: I did not fix typos.

Hey [name], thanks for your response as always! (: I love getting responses like these. I didn’t respond so soon because I wanted some time to respond to it with more depth, to actually read everything. A half-assed response is no response!


Honestly I don’t know what to say. My ex actually reached out to me yesterday. She ended up listening to me and my side, which is all I ever wanted in the relationship- was to feel heard. Now that she’s given me exactly what I needed, I don’t know how I feel about things entirely yet. It was also rather strange timing for her to reach out to me [reasons undisclosed even to reader].


So you must be kind of feeling the same way, trapped and confused. Uncertain of what all this means. Honestly I can’t say that I know what it means, I could only hypothesize and even then it could be wrong. 


It could mean that you two will find your way back to each other, but I don’t want to give you false hope. It’s better to assume the latter, which is simply that you two are energetically connected still, and that energy is fading out. It could be some test of the Universe. It could mean that spiritually you are both connected and so both felt compelled to take a trip to [city] (nothing we ever do is really by our own design, we are all influenced by all others all at the same time).


That being said your motive for going was really fascinating- what I find crazy & synchronistic here is how you made a decision to be happy, and then you observed a synchronicstic experience with your ex (he also shall be traveling to the Netherlands). I also have recently made a decision to be happy, by traveling to Bali, and then my ex decided to reach out to me and give me the 1 thing which I always wanted from the relationship. 


Now we both feel conflicted. It is meaning for sure, there is definitely something going on, but be careful not to ascribe to it any meaning [prematurely]. For example, it could mean that “you and I are meant to be” (don’t take this literally, it’s just a very figurative example), as we are both experiencing a break up. It could also mean that “you and I are meant to re-unite with our exes.” Or it could also just mean “you and I are energetically and synchronicstically connected, while also still energetically connected to our exes, and so attracting strange coincidences and circumstances in our life to confuse us.”

Note: I want to make very clear I don’t actually mean that me and the reader are “meant to be” together, I was just giving an absurd example of how many interpretations there are to any synchronicity. Generally speaking the answer is the most obvious one, or answer of least effort required to obtain- simplicity is golden, however in any case when unclear give it more time for the truth to reveal.


I also have 2 friends here in Phoenix that are struggling to get over break ups- one near the same time period, and another which happened a couple weeks ago, and me and that girl actually went out over 2 years ago here in Phoenix! We met all by chance, in very strange & coincidental ways. The girl I went out with “back then” I synchronistically met something like 4 or 5 times in one week. However [undisclosed, basically I can’t figure out the meaning of meeting that girl again].


Or, perhaps all of this is happening to remind us that the law of attraction is real, and that there are strange energies occurring. It just occurred to me that these synchronistic things could have inherently no meaning, yet have meaning as a result of having no meaning. What I mean is that we are simply energetically connected, and that’s why these things happen, but they don’t happen for us to reunite with our ex but rather to remind us of the energetic forces in life. 


Wow, that was much longer than I thought it would be. I wish I could say more about your situation, but I felt I could only help you by sharing my situation a bit to reveal just that synchronicity is a strange and unpredictable phenomenon that leaves the meaning open for interpretation. While I do believe that there is inherent meaning in almost every “coincidence,” and that it is Universal synchronicity, I would also advise against ascribing it too much meaning (unless the meaning is clear) and let things play out as they may- and then in the end things will make sense. 


One final example of this would be me undecided of whether I should stay in Canggu (surfing) or Ubud (mountains) in Bali. My heart leaned towards Canggu, then I went to yoga and the instructor told me that “when the mind is rough it is like waves, and we need to learn to surf the waves.” They have never met a water/surf reference EVER before. In this case it was quite apparent that Canggu was indeed the right choice, and I should follow-through with it. 


In the cases of our exes, and what strange happenings may be with that, I can’t comment on what they mean, though I do have my suspects, but enjoy the dance and let it play out as it may. 


Sincerely, 

-Michael