Category Archives: Life Stories

A New Sofia: September Updates

It’s been almost 4 weeks since returning to Sofia, and it’s been filled with ups & downs.

Overall, things are good. I’m calling it “A New Sofia” because it really is unlike what it was before, in a good way.

Let’s dive in and see why that is. We’re also going to cover several interesting life topics, such as vibrations, energy, and self-improvement, so this is gonna be a long, packed post.

A New Sofia

Many things are completely different to how they were before. A lot of construction that had previously been taking place is now complete, which opened up some absolutely beautiful areas.

New shops have sprung up, and others have closed down. I’m happy for this.

Me and some friends went to get some “doners” (type of Turkish wrap sandwich, very popular in this area of the world) at a place which used to have what we believed some of the best in Sofia.

It was awful. Another place was closed. Things have changed surprisingly a lot.

Luckily we found a Gyros shop (which is similar to doners) which was even better, and I’m really glad for that. The doner shop and other shop which closed were associated with my ex, but these new places get to be a part of the “New Sofia.”

Some friends have drifted off, mainly in the sense that I feel I’ve grown up too much from them.

Others I’ve become even closer with, as it always is. I’ve made new friends already too. It’s always weird seeing these changes when returning to a city in which I had a previously large social circle.

I used to always go to this one cafe to do my work, and I initially did at first, but resentfully. It is about a 20 minute walk through several paths that require up/down stairs, which isn’t so fun when carrying a laptop & bag.

It didn’t even feel that good being there. Though it was nice seeing some of the old staff.

I found a new cafe to work remotely from, and so far I’m enjoying it a lot more than that other place. The seats are more comfy, the coffee tastier, and funny enough I’ve already made friends with some of the other regular faces I see in here.

The cafe/coffee scene is definitely subpar compared to Thailand, but I did find a couple places with high-quality coffee. Only one place truly stands out, with a taste as good as the high-quality Thai & American coffee I would drink.

On the other hand I’m really enjoying the parks & nature. Being able to go for a jog outside and around the city anywhere is amazing. In Thailand you’d eat up all that delicious pollution and potentially get hit by a vehicle!

I recently made a conscious decision to break my habits and routines. No similar restaurants, cafes, bars. I wanted to do new places that didn’t have memories with my ex.

It’s been really incredible. I’ve discovered some awesome restaurants with fascinating food.

Surprisingly I also found a place which serves Vietnamese food with Pho almost as good as the Pho in Vietnam. I’ll probably eat that again tonight.

Pushes in Business

Business has been the biggest focus since coming here and I’ve made significant progress. It’s a frustrating, iterative process testing different messages, ads, this, that, etc. until you get it right.

Of course when I finally do get it right things will just blow up such so that my problem becomes too many clients, not too little.

This is my biggest priority, and I haven’t been too concerned about dating. It’s great that I have many great friends here as well so I don’t have to worry about that area. I can just work and then hangout in the evening.

Coffee Addiction?

On Tuesday & Thursday I did no-caffeine days, and I am beginning to think there’s a chance I’m addicted to what little caffeine I do drink (100ML per day, about one cup, not often but sometimes 200ML or 2 cups).

Either that or my sleep hasn’t been good recently. I’m willing to bet it’s a combination of both.

Instead of quitting caffeine, I’ve decided to manage the potential addiction (which is NOT confirmed anyways).

You can only fight so many battles at once. Right now I’m focused on business, and not gonna lie but a nice cup of coffee helps quite the bit when it comes to the menial, repetitive, fucking annoying tasks that are 100% necessary in order to succeed.

My new routine I’ve designed is to wake up, meditate, drink coffee, get to work, and then after the first portion (or all) of my work I will eat, then workout, finish work if I have it, then hangout and do whatever.

The key thing is that I workout before the final caffeine crash, and the workout high will remove any potential withdrawal symptoms and keep me focused for the remainder of the day.

Again I’m not sure whether it’s coffee or poor sleep- so I’m also putting in an effort to fix my sleep, which is a bit difficult considering the whole “no AC in Europe despite it being a really hot summer” thing.


I do not eat until I finish the important, sales portion of my work. It seems to be an exceptional habit-building tool to force yourself to do the most daunting (or in my case occasionally repetitive and fucking annoying) tasks first thing in the day.

It quickly builds a habit: you get hungry, and the only way you’re allowed to eat is if you do the hardest thing in the day. My brain is already starting to love sales.

I don’t think I’d be loving sales so much unless it were for this habit-building trick. I’ve caught my brain saying things like “this is so much fun” when 4 weeks ago I would’ve vomited and what I currently find “fun.”

It does the trick though! I earn my food. I’m even occasionally repeating this in other parts of my day via habit.

For example while hanging out with a friend we’ve suddenly decided that before we eat dinner we have to approach pretty girls and talk to them. It’s almost a daily ritual now!

Focus & Calmness

I’m putting more effort into created a focused, calm life. Not so much social media, distractions, stimulations, etc.

Things like video games & reddit do not fulfill me anymore. I can literally feel how they pollute my brain, it’s really strange.

Instead, I often feel more fulfilled sipping coffee and getting some work done than I do relaxing playing a video game. I guess it’s not really relaxing to play a video game anyways.

A Personal Transformation

I’m starting to see why entrepreneurs that become successful often want to do nothing but work:

It’s so fucking fulfilling.

The days where I send out dozens of sales proposals, produce a new sales video, write new sales copy, and run around Sofia all while sipping coffee and making clear, legitimate progress on my goals are epic.

Then it feels often dull and boring when I decide it’s time for “pleasure and relaxation.”

My definition of pleasure & relaxation is changing from social media, video games, YouTube, and drinking to just relaxing with no notifications at a restaurant or having a good conversation with friends. Even a legit nap is better.

I often wanted to create wealth so that I could be free, yet the funny thing is I may end up choosing just to work anyways.

Already on the weekends I get agitated by the fact that I’m “not supposed” to work. A part of me really believes I should take the days off and relax, but the other just wants to keep making progress in some way.

It’s not coming from a desperate, needy frame, but from the type of frame like “dude it feels good let’s just sip coffee and work!”

I’m currently trying to find a balance in all of this. Being self-employed can be… confusing.

Anyways, I’m trying to consume less, talk less, and just do more. I want to be more successful than people think, and I think that for the past couple years everyone has thought I’m more successful than I legitimately am.

It sickens me to think that I was just full of hype like everyone else. Now I don’t want to talk about business, please no. I just want to do things.

Self-Employed Difficulties

Do I create a schedule? If I do, what if I finish work early or have more work? How do I plan my days? When should I take a day off, or a vacation?

These things really confuse me. I find myself searching for answers in Google, yet Google caters to the masses- it’s extremely difficult to find proper blogs that are not hyped up bullshit about being self-employed.

Most blogs that I do know of are hyped-up BS that ignores the true difficulties of the unique situation that the niche is in.

That’s because the truth is these blogs are not for people in that niche, but for people wanting to be in that niche.

Example: “digital nomad.” These are people that work remotely from anywhere and can travel.

That is technically me for past couple years. I find though that these blogs do not talk about the legitimate difficulties of being a digital nomad, and instead focus on all the hype.

This is because digital nomad blogs are not for digital nomads. Digital nomad blogs are for people that want to become one, or fantasize about it. Same for entrepreneurial blogs.

The truth is there are many downsides to being an entrepreneur or digital nomad. For me they are better than the alternative, but nonetheless they are problems that must be mitigated in order to maintain your sanity.

In short, I’m finding that I’m forced to find my own solutions to my problems- I am unable to find answers so easily on Google, and even many of my friends could not give the proper advice.

Often my friends give great advice, but some things are very contextual and require direct experience in order to truly understand.

Gratitude for Pains of the Past

You know what I’ve been thinking about recently? Thank GOD I was bullied so badly in school.

Okay, maybe if I could’ve changed the past, I would’ve wished myself a better childhood. I didn’t enjoy feeling like an outsider, a weirdo, an outcast. I would’ve liked to get laid, too.

But what I’ve realized is that it’s quite probable I may have never discovered entrepreneurship if I felt more like I belonged in my school, city, and social circle.

In a strange fashion I find myself grateful for many of the pains I had in my past because it’s forced me to become who I am today.

Today I often feel jaded- but in a good way. This means that little things don’t bother you. Sometimes my energy stoops into petty levels, but often I find myself super chilled out.

Sometimes someone will say something and I’ll look at them with an icy, blank stare and they suddenly put all their cards on the table. Friends that knew me in the beginning of Sofia (November 2017) report that I certainly have matured a ton- the vibe is different, more grounded.

I know now that I can overcome anything that is thrown my way. It’s a matter of when not if.

And as for things such as the isolation I felt in my teenage years, it is likely that which drew me to entrepreneurship and digital nomadism.

If I had “belonged” to a group, then perhaps I would’ve gone to University like everyone else and never even considered the possibility of an alternative. I would’ve succumbed to group-think, perhaps.

My own trials of the past led to me thinking independently and analyzing my options from an objective perspective. This helped me realize that entrepreneurship was much safer than having a “secure job,” and that the pay-outs would be a lot better.

I’ve just observed in myself a certain icy groundedness that I never could’ve imagined I’d actually get so fast.

Perhaps almost a year of daily meditation is to thank for this. There is usually a peaceful place inside I can always ground into.

I don’t remember when exactly I began (perhaps it’s even been more than a year), but for a very long time now I’ve meditated 10+ minutes every morning. Sometimes 15, sometimes 20, but 10 at the bare minimum.

The effects are compounding. It’s a solidified habit, and I’d feel disgusted if I didn’t meditate in the morning. I can go without eating- not without my morning meditation.

While I don’t want to die now, I even find myself now more comfortable at the thought of my eventual demise. It’s just another experience. Times have changed…

Letting Go of Fears & Emotionalness

In the big push to finally do what I’ve always wanted to do in business, I find myself confronting many fears and emotions and doubts.

When my online ads didn’t perform so well, I became emotional and worried. But I’ve learned to calm and ground myself, and see things objectively. Then I fixed it and it was all good.

Same for my new form of sales I’m currently doing. At first I wasn’t within KPI (key performance indicator). I became emotional and worried.

But then I was like “bro, you’ve done this for 5 fucking days, and this is version 1.”

I’ve realized now that the reason so many people do not achieve their dreams is simply because they lose sight of the iterative, scientific process that is required in life in order to succeed.

Whether you’re picking up girls, optimizing your health, or growing a business you need to be scientific and iterative in your methodology.

This means that you test, measure, collect feedback, and then re-test. It’s so crazy how we are not taught this in school, and even crazier how easy it is to forget this.

Today I think I’ll even print this out as a reminder to read & see every single day.

When something doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean that you are the problem but instead that the action does not produce a result.

My favorite book is “The Science of Getting Rich,” for no other reason than the title (but it’s totally worth a read, I’ve read it over and over).

Just like Chemistry, if you combine two elements there should always be an exact result. Is the true not same of life?

There are many variables, but there IS a scientific way to succeed. But it’s easy to forget that.

For me my “Beta 0 and Beta 1” sales letter performed very poorly. I created a “Updated V1” than has performed a bit better. Yesterday I initiated tests with “V2.”

It’s so ridiculous to think that I become so frustrated and emotional after just a few days of my sales strategy, when I hadn’t even tested multiple variations in the advertisement’s messaging!

That’s how emotions work though.

Now I’m not saying you should deny your emotions or self-attack. It’s important to feel them, express your anger in working out, and cry when you feel sad.

Just you can’t let it mess with reason. I recently went through an incredible course about business, and one of my favorite quotes is:

“Regulate yourself with data, not with emotions.”

Things almost never work the first time. It’s the 8th iteration of testing that makes you profit.

I keep reminding myself of this, and already it’s paying out. My V1 tests performed better than B0 & B1. I hypothesize V2 will perform significantly better, but I have to put it to the test before confirming anything.

In short, I’m not being so emotional. Instead when I get emotional I review the data, and this reminds me to not be so emotional.

Business is really like Chemistry. If you want an explosion, you will have to test several combinations of chemicals. The vast majority will not create the desired result.

When you finally get the desired chemical combination for the desired result, well then you know what works, and so you can create as many explosions as you want.

The metaphor of course being that when I finally master client attraction, it will suddenly be a problem of having too many clients because I’ll be able to create that desired result over and over.

Fluctuations in Vibration & Consciousness

Recently I’ve really taken a liking to the book I read earlier this year “Power vs. Force.”

In it is a map of consciousness. I find it to be highly accurate, and it’s fascinating seeing the dynamics play out in areas of my own life.

Here it is:

I believe that we have a “baseline level of consciousness” and then multiple layers without yourself.

For example your average may be an energetic calibration of 205. But over the weeks on some days you may calibrate at 125, and on other days 350, totalling an average of 205.

Anything under 200 is considered unproductive and unhealthy. You will not typically get positive results in life under 200.

It’s really fascinating. On some days in the past month I’ve derped on Reddit and gotten triggered by posts. Typically something on the relationships subreddit or “Am I The Asshole” subreddit. Just silly drama stuff, you know?

On those days I notice my vibe dipping into fear, desire, pride, and anger. During this temporary dip my muscles tighten, and things seem to become more difficult. My own energetic level becomes lower, I feel less inclined to clean and work, etc.

On other days where I’m identified with “higher level attractor patterns” as the author writes, such as Courage, Willingness, and Acceptance, I find myself filled with vitality, passion, gratitude, and a good energy.

Things come easier. I get results. I can focus longer. People smile at me.

When I first returned to Sofia, my vibe dropped substantially. I likely calibrated somewhere between grief and anger. This could be due in part to pain about my ex still, but there were likely other things I had to take responsibility for. For example, massive sleep deprivation & jet lag.

During the first two weeks, things seemed to be quite fucked up! My laptop stopped working effectively (though there were hints of this in Thailand), I dropped my phone and it shattered, I had an enraging encounter with a jerk, and other things.

Now most people would consider it “bad luck.” I don’t believe that.

I believe that I attracted shitty life circumstances because my vibe dropped.

For example, once I was crossing the street and a car decided to jump on the accelerator to intimidate me. I was already in an angry vibe, flipped him off and spit at him. I walked away, and he got out of his car. When I realized he was about to yell at me, I stormed back as he got back in his car and spit at him again for good measure. Then I left as he got out again.

Most people would say “wow he’s such an asshole, bla bla bla.” And probably justify my anger.

But I know that that’s not the case. The fact is this old man was in an angry vibe, I was in an angry vibe, and we came together and found a way to manifest our anger collectively.

When you’re in a certain vibe, you attract situations that justify that vibe and also focus on things that reinforce that vibe.

Perhaps from his perspective he was already turning and I was an asshole for running across the street. From my perspective I had the right of way and he was an asshole.

But you know what? I was in an angry mood. For all I know now, I may have unconsciously purposefully put myself in a situation that would trigger someone to treat me poorly so that I could unleash my own anger upon them.

Yeah, I know this might sound a bit “out there,” but upon reflection the only times I have ever experienced such things is when I was already in an angry vibe and looking to take it out on someone.

I once had a very similar situation happened a year and a half ago, same thing. Guy decides to jump the accelerator to intimidate me. But again, I was already in an angry vibe. Coincidence?

I also don’t believe it to be a coincidence that my laptop hard drive started to fail (it still works but the WiFi on my laptop is broken- and the hard drive will fail any day now). It also wasn’t a coincidence that I “accidentally” dropped my phone and shattered it. Nope.

Subconsciously these situations were created in order to perpetuate my grief, fear, anger, and desire- all energetic patterns that I was likely calibrated in during that time.

These “negative” things allowed me to be upset and despair (grief), made me fearful of the future because “what if my laptop fails and I run out of $ buying a new expensive one” (fear, and I need a high-powered laptop for video production for client), anger (why is this happening to me), and desire (I want a new laptop, phone, etc. but “can’t”).

But all these vibes I was in BEFORE these “negative” things happened! They were created by me or attracted to me to perpetuate my reality!

Another thing that happened is I rushed purchasing a new laptop. I ended up not researching laptop specs, and purchased a VERY slow laptop.

Now that I’m clear-headed, I am like, “oh shit,” because if I had just spent $500 more I could’ve got an exceptional laptop… and I’ll have to buy a better laptop anyways, so I’m kind of “out” on the money I spent for this temporary, low-quality laptop.

Increasing the Vibe

To increase my vibe I’ve meditated, visualized Buddha/Jesus or “the source of the Universe,” and actively taken responsibility and action for fixing the situation.

And strangely things started falling back into place. For example, a woman randomly messaged me on Instagram. She saw a comment I had made on an advertisement for that amazing course I bought.

She wanted to buy it, and I told her I had a referral link that would save her $500. It would also pay me $500, which would cover the laptop cost. She hasn’t been able to purchase yet, but she might.

My sales work is looking up too. One prospect told me that they didn’t want to hire me, but she may offer me a one-time payment for some video production for an online course she’s creating.

My guess is that the amount she will offer will be enough to cover my “bad laptop,” and potentially a new phone also.

As I’ve consciously made an effort to identify with “courage, acceptance, and willingness” by taking responsibility for my situation and actively improving it, I’ve observed things falling into place and everything improving.

By actively reminding myself everything is gonna be alright, things are becoming alright. It’s cool how that works.

I’m not an expert on increasing your vibration. And whether or not you believe in the map of consciousness (ie. the energetic component of it), the fact is that it is a highly accurate map and your average level of calibration will determine the results in life that you get.

Energetic Map + Dating

One final thing about this, is that what is fascinating is observing how even dating plays a role on the energetic map and how it affects my whole life.

As mentioned earlier I’m not too concerned about dating. I’m focused about business. But I’m not gonna lie, I’d like to get laid. Or at least go on some dates.

I’ve observed and spoke to my best friend about this. What I’ve been experiencing is “desire” for this particular result.

When I would see a pretty girl, I’d often think “damn I’d like her to be my girlfriend.” It’s okay to have these thoughts, but occasionally they’d dip into “desire” which means that you wish that it was true when in fact it isn’t.

Here’s the interesting thing: I notice that when I approach a pretty girl and ask for her number, I immediately feel healthier, energized, and happier. Even if she flat out rejects me.

This has ALWAYS baffled me. And EVERYONE- all men I’ve met- have observed this phenomenon as well.

“Wow, getting rejected actually feels amazing,” is a common thing you hear among men that go and approach girls they are interested in!

What the fuck? Isn’t it supposed to hurt? And sting? No, it often doesn’t, instead it often feels amazing.

Now I understand. Here’s why:

When you just look at the pretty girl and fantasize, you are in the state of “desire.” You want it but don’t have it. You aren’t doing anything about it.

Now when you approach her, regardless of the result, you move into the state of “courage.”

Remember that courage calibrates at 200, and anything above 200 is considered a “powerful attractor pattern” that will fulfill you and energize you. Anything less than 200 (ie. desire) is not healthy.

So the simple act of approaching a girl and asking her out immediately moves your calibration into at least 200. In some cases, when you are feeling neutral or willing to do it, you move into the calibration of 250-300 which is significantly greater than desire, which calibrates at 125.

Suddenly when you do that approach and go for what you want, you move into a higher level of consciousness regardless if you get a good result or not!

This also explains why I’m enjoying business & sales so much too. Things like Reddit which have the potential to trigger me lower my vibration and thus calibrate below 200, but business and taking action calibrates above 200 which gives me more energy.

Even though I’m “not focused on dating,” I’m observing that still approaching pretty girls makes me feel fucking amazing regardless of the outcome. It energizes the fuck out of me!

When you actively embody beliefs & actions that calibrate above 200 (again see the map of consciousness above) your entire vibration increases. You can also consciously release things like anger, grief, and shame, which is like letting go of chains.

It’s so cool to realize, and this map of consciousness is becoming something I am starting to live by. It explains many of the strange phenomenon I’ve observed in life, such as how getting rejected by a girl can make you feel 10x better than not approaching her in the first place- you took action, you embodied courage (or perhaps even willingness).

To Immigrate, or Not To Immigrate

I could honestly see myself living in Sofia, Bulgaria- at least for a whole year. Nothing is confirmed yet, I make no promises.

While I did love Thailand, I reported before that one problem of Chiang Mai is that they have a “smoky season” in which pollution reaches extremely dangerous levels. I haven’t been there then, but people who have only have negative things to report.

I think that I will often visit Thailand as almost a “second home,” but it’s probably off the tables for a primary home. That could change, but I don’t see it being my home for now.

This means that it’s Sofia or Phoenix (or somewhere in the USA) as a primary home base.

I don’t want to think about this right now. For now I’m just enjoying Sofia, and I really could see myself living here now.

At the same time I find myself nostalgic of some of the memories in Phoenix. The desert mountains, parties, and fun was great there too.

I’d need to earn a lot more in order to live there, but with my business goals that should soon become feasible. I’d sure be curious to try it out.

For now, I’m not worried about it. I’m happy in Sofia. So I’ll stay as long as I can, and deal with the next problem only when it comes.

What’s Good With You?

So that’s what’s up with me. What’s good with you?

You can hit “reply” and let me know. (:

Thanks for reading!


Taking the Plunge & Starting a “Real Business”

Long-time readers may have observed that recently my rate of writing has decreased massively, and same for the effort I put into my posts. I also have stopped posting YouTube videos.

In fact, I’m not gonna lie- a lot of my old posts (especially from a year ago) make me cringe so much that I have seriously considered deleting them.

By not watching those videos or reading those blog posts, I’ve saved myself from my own cringe and thus have left them up, both for those that could extract value from it and as a testament to my own growth.

I’ve hinted at this before, but the reason why I’ve stopped writing so much is because I’m focused on starting a legitimate business now. And I don’t want to talk about it.

Seriously, shoot me in the balls then the brain if I start writing more about this new business that I’m starting.

One of the things my ex said of me that really stung was that I was “more talk than do.” It stung because it was true.

I was just a talker. Talking about the theory of business. Talking about the theory of marketing. The idea of getting wealth and all that crap.

For a moment I believed my own bullshit. But with the help of her truth and an icy reality check in which all my friends started making wayyy more than me, I couldn’t deny it:

I was a talker. Not a do-er.

I started out over 2 years ago way ahead of the curve. I was doing better than everyone I knew at this online marketing stuff.

But I became complacent and started talking about ideas & success, and getting too caught up with the “4 hour work week” instead of actually finding work that I was passionate about and committing to excellence.

It often felt like something was missing in my life, and I never realized that it was because I wasn’t committed to excellence in any area of my life. Working more not from a place of avoiding pain but of legitimate commitment to excellence has been one of the greatest things for my mental health.

Anyways, in the past couple years I went from being #1 of my social circle to last. Even those that were “not smarter” than me blew me away financially.

While I was stuck checking my budget when it comes to accommodation and searching for the cheapest flights, my friends could fly first class and get luxurious accommodation in first world countries.

Now I’m not saying here that I have started this new “real business” just to compete with my friends- that’s silly.

I’ve always wanted to start it. I’ve always wanted to do “real shit.” I just made excuses and got trapped in all kinds of other distractions.

My ex-girlfriend was one of those distractions and that’s no fault of her own. I didn’t have my own sense of self in the relationship, and so she became too important to me. Instead of taking alone time to work on my purpose, sheand the relationship became my purpose which was so unhealthy for both of us and unfair to her.

I’ve always been inspired to run Facebook Ads and get really, really good at them.

When I first ran my own online ads in 2016 they were a complete disaster. I spent like $75 just to make $15.

Then in 2017 I ran my own ads again while in Montreal. Surprisingly they were profitable for like the first $20- I sold a couple T-shirts online which was insanely exciting.

At that time I didn’t have a deep understanding of Facebook Ads though, and so I made some mistakes with the advertisements that led to their demise. I was tight on cash in Montreal as I was saving up for some medical treatment, and never ran ads for this business again despite it always being in my mind.

After Montreal I traveled through Europe, and let myself get too distracted by alcohol and fun and parties. It was probably a necessary thing I had to go through as I had never felt so socially connected and had so much fun in my life.

The downside to this was that I burnt down previous client relations. I vividly recall not having any WiFi in Belgium and having to frantically work to make a deadline.

In Budapest when I had WiFi again I discovered that my ads I made for this client were so awful and filled with English mistakes you would’ve thought I was an Indian scammer. It was embarrassing. I fixed the situation but the client relationship was burnt and I never received more work from them.

It was in early 2018 in Bulgaria when the stagnation really began, and thus my temporary decline. For whatever reason I stopped trying to get new clients. I made a little from Cryptocurrency investments (remember when BTC was blowing up??) but that was it.

I also had little concept of “taxes” and no clue how they worked. When it came time to pay my 2017 taxes in 2018, I thought I could write off many of the medical expenses I had- turns out my understanding of taxes was wrong, and I owed thousands to the government.

I was able to pay it, but I was complacent in replenishing my reserves. Things got dangerous when I started to spend too much in Bulgaria. Again this was me getting distracted on my relationship- I was spending too much on her and on myself and to make it very clear it was not her fault but my own.

Then when I left for Cyprus, I found myself unable to adjust to the currency exchange of Euros compared to Lev. Things were 2x more expensive, but I was too complacent to adjust my living.

It was quite unwise and I really lacked a concept of how difficult it would be to get new clients- I had gone too long in “easy mode.”

I didn’t realize it then, but I learned an important life lesson then (which you should write down):

Never, ever become complacent.

You can observe in governments, celebrities, and large corporations that they have a great product/service but then things get “too good” and they lose their roots with what originally made them successful.

They ride the wave of success, but because they’re not doing what originally made them successful their downfall is inevitable.

I was lucky to not fall completely- I always had a client which was supporting me (which was more of a remote job, to be honest).

The great mistake I made was forgetting my roots in 2018. However I should add it wasn’t all bad as I was fixing my health and social life, areas which had always lacked as well. It was likely a necessary stage in my development.

Backstory aside, here’s what happened next.

I had a big mental crash in late 2018 as my finances were tight, my relationship had ended, and I felt really crushed in Thailand. When I went back to the USA for a while I found more work and began to actually take shit seriously.

The crash served as a stark reminder to not lose my way ever again.

In fact, I now understand why you have to do what makes you feel passionate or gives value to others. When things get “good,” you get complacent if you aren’t doing something that you love.

This is so important you NEED to understand it.

You MUST find something you love or learn to be passionate about it, otherwise you will become lazy when things get “good.” You will sacrifice becoming great for being good.

The thing is, good never lasts. Being great as an ever-evolving art which takes daily practice.

Good can last a day, week, month, or even years but ultimately good runs out. Only those committed to excellence and being a great survive.

Now that I’ve understood this, I’ve made it my commitment to become excellent in Facebook Ads, stop making excuses, and focus on serving clients rather than trying to print wealth off of the internet.

Whereas before the internet marketing felt dark & scammy, it now feels like a moral pursuit because I’m focused on legitimately giving value to my clients.

For the past several months I’ve been taking action on starting a REAL business. And I don’t intend on doing a lot of writing about it because it already takes up so much of my time I have no time or care to write (especially because this writing isn’t profitable).

Step 1: Skill Development

First I developed my skills for free. I could’ve told Facebook Ads but I decided to work for clients for free or heavily discounted rates.

Financially I’m okay because I have a remote job in which I provide social media + content creation (like writing) which is a great job that I love. I also met this client in Texas in person after 2 years of working together, and we had a blast so I’m really committed to giving value now.

Because I am okay I was able to focus on skill development. It was hard at first, but I knew more than I could imagine.

Very quickly my skills became validated as I was able to acquire leads for clients at a low cost per lead. For 2 realtors I was getting good results, and the same for a software development agency.

However I realized a problem: clients didn’t value my work when it was free and often lacked the follow-through to get results off of my work.

I was able to get them leads, but they weren’t able to close the leads. This is because they had pre-existing beliefs about Facebook Ads that were negative, or they themselves were too complacent.

For example, the software agency was getting leads from me at $1.69 per lead. Given their services are extremelyexpensive, they only needed to close something like .25% (1 in 400) of the leads to still be racking in a massive profit.

Yet they ignored my advice about Email marketing followup, and contacting the leads within 24 hours or same-day. The CEO was lazy about is sales and had investor funding, so they weren’t sharp.

He complained that some of the leads forgot about them. I said, “no shit that’s what fucking happens when you contact the leads 5 DAYS AFTER I GET THEM.”

Noting that clients are lazy, I’ve made adjustments to the lead generation system so that clients get only the highest quality leads. 99% of people are not cut-out to be salesmen, and so I had to do a lot of the qualification myself.

My new advertising system helps to prequalify leads so that clients are only talking with leads that are the most qualified and warm to boost their morale.

Even when the results were so great they only needed to close 1 out of 400 leads to be massively profitable, clients were still upset that they had 10 rejections in a row.

Anyways, I realized that charging my clients was the way to go because then they’d take my advice seriously and I could invest more of my time to developing the pre-qualification system so that clients don’t waste time on leads which could blow up their sensitive egos.

Skill development? Check.

Step 2: Web Development

In Bali & Chiang Mai I created my own website, which you can view by clicking HERE. It is

The website isn’t perfect, and I’ve received a ton of amazing feedback from ya’ll about what could be improved. Thank you!

The most important part about the website is that it builds credibility and acts as an online portfolio. Even more important than that I’ve created an extensive application process that new prospects have to go through before they can even get on the phone with me.

I’ve had prospects apply but they don’t meet my qualifications. Great. I was able to cancel the call before it even began and save myself time.

Again the website is absolutely not perfect. However it’s “good enough” and that’s all I need to move forward. I’ll adjust it as needed.

Step 3: Testimonials

Next I wanted to collect testimonials from clients that I had legitimately served. I am not satisfied with my current list of testimonials- I want to help more clients and get more testimonials from even better results, but for the time being what I have is “good enough.”

One realtor created a video for me saying I “over-exceeded his expectations by far… Thank you Michael!

I’ve also created case studies of clients that I’ve helped. Examples include getting leads at $1.69 per lead, getting 400k+ page likes and making the client #1 in the niche, and getting a 17x ROI on some Amazon Ads.

Did you know I’ve also successfully worked with Owange Pranks, the #1 prank YouTube channel in the world?

Click the link “Ownage Pranks” for the case study. Being a long-time fan I was always super pumped to work with them and receive the testimonial, “Michael’s expertise has been quintessential in getting us on the right track.”

All this being said, I’m not satisfied with any of this. I want more testimonials, better results, and one day a giant catalog of videos on my website of happy clients.

One day I want so many testimonials that I have to delete all these testimonials because they aren’t good enough.

For example the realtor testimonial feels slightly fake because he ended up deciding not to cancel the contract once I requested payment. He was happy to give the testimonial and help me out, but not happy enough to stick around long-term.

For the time being it’s all good- but like I said I have my goals for a true list of happy testimonials.

Step 4: Biting My Own Words

Most advertising agencies are full of shit and you can confirm this because they don’t even run their own advertisements!

Who the fuck would I be to run ads for clients but not for myself?

Right now I don’t have the greatest budget, but I’ve ran ads regardless. I’m investing my own cash even though I don’t have a ton and that’s because I know I can get myself results.

No more excuses. I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do for years now.

Today I woke up and finally got almost all preliminary metrics within KPI, which stands for “key performance indicator.” It’s a fancy way of saying that I’m on track to be printing off clients off of Facebook Ads.

Step 5: Facing Uncertainty

I’m not gonna lie though- there were some emotional moments during the course in which my ads ran.

On one night I got results that were around $1.70 per lead and I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep all night. Then no one opened my Emails (but a few leads) from Email marketing, and my “free course” basically accomplished nothing.

When I created a revised funnel, I felt uneasy about my ads.

I found it quite difficult to not be super emotional about the advertisements. I doubted myself, questioned whether what I was doing was right, and wondered whether I was good enough.

There were times when I opened my ads dashboard and I just wanted to scream and cry because I wasted the budget to get something like $50 per lead- and then the automation system was fucked up so I wasn’t even able to nurture the lead, making the cash lost!

Another time I screwed up a code which meant that the Facebook Ads dashboard was reporting my results were exceptional when in fact I had 0 results. A whole day’s worth of budget was lost, which I think was just $15 or $20… but still.

During every step of the process of fixing my ads, my website, and my funnel I had to relax and not freak out from the fact that it felt like I was tossing my hard-earned money into a black void.

I had to relax, and diagnosis the problem carefully. Sometimes my targeting was off. Sometimes my ad copy was not good.

When I learned finally to see the situation objectively, I found it quite easy to fix my ads. Instead of ads “failing” they were simply “out of KPI” for various metrics, and then I was able to fix those issues.

For example, maybe an advertisement was receiving clicks to the landing page but no one was converting. Well it was either the landing page which needed fixing or the advertisement was misleading.

In this case the advertisement I had created was misleading, and it didn’t fit well with the landing page.

I then deleted the advertisement and created some new ones, and the results started pouring in!

Today as I said I got all of the preliminary metrics within KPI. Now I’m ready for a larger-budget test, but first I have to fix some of the other parts of my funnel.

Step 6: Creating + Fixing the Funnel

The exact strategy I’d use for clients is what I’m using for myself. It is an advanced funnel that pre-qualifies the leads and limits the number of bad leads I have coming into my system.

I went from $1.70 per lead to $10 per lead, but now they’re much higher-quality, my email marketing emails are being opened, etc.

It’s calculated that I could spend as much as $15 per lead as long as they’re qualified and still make a massive profit, so I’m doing just fine.

My current funnel involves sending a prospect from my ad to a landing page, then they have to input their Email in order to get access to a free video.

The free video is intended to excite people about my services, and from there they can apply for a “free strategy session” with me. This isn’t the landing page, but if you were interested in my services you could apply HERE.

Once they apply for the free strategy session they have to fill out an extensive application that allows me to prequalify them. I only want to be on the phone with leads that are ready to buy.

If they don’t schedule a strategy session, the Email marketing system will send them an invitation to the free strategy session and then if they don’t they’ll be taken through a lengthy automation sequence which is a series of Emails over the course of 2-3 weeks.

I created a free course which I’ve turned into an Email automation sequence! The goal is to warm people up and give free value, which then will excite them to schedule that free strategy session.

Step 7: Moving Forward

I’m super excited for this “real business” as instead of me working kind of like a glorified job remotely I’ll actually be helping clients. The skills are validated, I have positive testimonials, now I just need to fix this process and then the sky’s the limit (and not even).

As soon as I get a new client all of those funds will be reinvested into my ads. Once I have the process for generating & closing leads via my Facebook Ads (which I’m quite close to achieving) things should “explode” via the “Law of Explosions” (based on my previous post).

Right now I don’t have the system perfected, but I will soon. As soon as the system is working and I have extra funds to invest into it things will really get going.

I’m working on setting up other processes and getting organized, as disorganization is a huge problem of mine that I’ve observed as well as all of my friends have reported on as well.

With organization I’ve estimated both an income cap and a client cap that I can personally achieve until I have to start hiring help. That’s a problem for another day.

It’s Hard, Yet Easy

I’ve accepted the challenges of starting a real business, such as investing my own funds, embracing difficulty, and having to learn online phone sales.

In a way it’s hard. There’s a lot of work to do. On the other hand, I realize that as soon as I get it right it’ll be “easy” and things will just explode.

I have realized that many of the income goals I’ve set are too short because as soon as this system is perfected of signing on new high-ticket clients from my ads there will really be no limit to how many clients I can sign on.

If my goal was to 3x my income, well that’s just too small because as soon as I do that I can invest all the additional funds into ads to sign on new clients, etc. This process will really explode until I need to hire help and cap out my max work.

This is It

That’s all. I just wanted to share and announce to the world my goals and what I’m currently working on. If I write too much about this, call me out and make sure I stay focused. Shoot me in the mouth if I talk too much. Not literally, please.

I have talked too much for too long, and the only reason I’m writing this now is because it’s more of a report than just talk.

There are legitimate results which I’ve earned the right to talk about now. I am currently averaging around $10 per lead, and a 1 in 3 open rate for my post-lead Email marketing. I have spent hundreds in my own advertising, and actually biting the bullet I’m selling to others.

I won’t be writing that much from here on out for the reason that this is my purpose, and writing is not a profitable activity. It’s not even that enjoyable anymore. I am kind of cringing at this post just for the fact that it’s like an hour of writing that doesn’t move me closer to my goals in any way.

My mission is to become exceptional with online ads, service clients and get astounding results for them, and scale this up and start hiring people.

I’m finally doing what I’ve always wanted to do, and it feels great.

Here’s to taking the plunge and doing some real shit!



Trapped Running Circles – Level of Energy

Since returning to Bulgaria, my level of energy has dropped drastically, and I’m not referring in my physical ability to get through the day (though that has dropped, also).

A great book called “Power vs. Force” details the various “degrees of energy” you could live at, ranging from low-level energetic patterns such as anger (force) vs. high-level energetic patterns such as reason (power).

They even have a system of calibrating various energy levels of people, groups, and ideas, though you can judge their methodology yourself.

On the low level of the spectrum we have energetic patterns which calibrate low such as guilt, fear, and anger.

There is a “critical line” at the 200 mark- the author believes that this is the critical tipping point from living a life of destruction/taking and actually giving value.

Before Thailand I would say that I calibrated above 200, anywhere between Courage & Willingness. This is an average calibration.

You can have multiple flows of energy inside of you, what matters is how stable it is and what your average is. For example fluctuating between shame & love would not be quite enjoyable.

You can have bits of shame, guilt, and apathy inside of you while simultaneously hold anger, courage, and willingness. The net average of these energies creates your calibration, which will greatly influence the way you experience the world as well as your degree of fulfillment.

I don’t know why, but since returning to Bulgaria my “level of energy” has dropped drastically, and I’d say it’s been often calibrating somewhere along the lines of anger!

It’s been really hard for me to return to Bulgaria for a variety of reasons.

I’ve been nervous to see my ex, devastated by seeing her (both in terms of anger and pain about the relationship split), and especially struggling with the adjustment to Europe after months spent living in Asia!

Regardless though, these are just excuses, and I have to be careful not to fall into a “victim” level of energy pattern which would certainly calibrate below the critical 200 point.

What scares me though is that I’ve been bouncing back up very slowly- not at a fast enough rate, and it’s vastly negatively affected my reality!

First, I haven’t been hardly happy at all. The days have felt like a struggle to get past, and each day I’m just ready to get to the end.

My positive habits that I’ve had for months prior to returning to Bulgaria are a massive struggle to maintain.

Today for the first time in 9 or so months I forgot to meditate in the morning- that’s extremely weird when you consider I’ve been meditating for several months prior to this day!

My workouts have also been lazy and extra difficult. In the case of my last workout, I forgot to do it during the day and ended up having to do it before bed. I was collapsing with fatigue between each set, literally resting on the floor.

That’s not a one-off situation. It’s basically been like this since returning to Bulgaria…

I’ve struggled to make progress in business, and very quickly I’ve lost the ability to even remember just how aware and happy I was in Chiang Mai. It feels like a distant reality, yet at the same time it feels like yesterday…

I’m not sure how much of this is to blame with my encounter with my ex, or if it’s other memories of Bulgaria that are resurfacing. Regardless this is extremely dangerous as I’ve wrote before.

It also feels like a “pointless pain” because had I stayed in Chiang Mai I wouldn’t be going through any of this right now (in theory).

What’s really weird and a personal observation I’ve made is that due to the “law of attraction” you attract situations akin to your “level of energy.”

This is why I consciously recognize it’s extremely dangerous to remain in Bulgaria if my level of energy can’t change here- I will attract situations that are awful.

It gets worse. I already have attracted these situations…

Since arriving I became massively sick. I got more sick than I had been in a long while. After I got better, I began developing psychosomatic physical pains and muscle tightness.

I’ve struggled with walking, and right now the problem is my neck. It doesn’t matter where the pain is- stomach, neck, leg, whatever. Where it is is irrelevant because what the pain is is just a mental-emotional pain getting trapped in the body.

This happens during levels of energy patterns under anger as far as I know. Unconscious anger (which we shall call rage, which may actually be attributed to guilt) that doesn’t get expressed turns into legitimate physical pain by causing nervous system malfunctions & muscle tightness.

For more information on that, check out “The Great Pain Deception” by Steve Ozanich.

However in my experience it doesn’t end in rage. It can also happen when you don’t feel safe, when you live inauthentically, and when you need to cry but hold it back. Instead of feeling the emotion, you feel physical pain and forget it was the emotion that was the cause.

Anyways, back on track. I’ve already attracted some highly destructive situations into my life, and it doesn’t just have to do with my physical health.

Today I was crossing the road and quickly ran across. The car, driven by an old man, aggressively hit the accelerator to scare me.

I was already in a negative, angry mindset, so I spit at the car. I began to walk away but saw that he had stopped and gotten out. I turned around as he started to get back in the car, and took another spit just to prove the point.

He then got super angry but I was already off fast-walking and then jogging away. He had impeded traffic as he was on a main road (which could only have one car) and the whole encounter was pointless.

This situation might sound a bit comical, but it’s nothing “like me” at all recently! I’ve driven in dangerous Thailand on a motorbike and handled life/death situations with a smile on my face.

Most people would say that the driver was just an asshole, but I know that subconsciously we were energetically drawn to each other.

I’ve been in this exact situation once before, and once again it happened only when I was already in an extended state of anger. You simply attract more people to fight with, even if on the surface you don’t actually want to fight.

What’s even scarier is that the energetic pattern completely took over my consciousness. I should’ve just kept walking after the first spit, but instead, totally consumed by rage, I decided to get another spit right on his car just for good measure because he retaliated in the first place.

Your level of energy perpetuates itself. It wants to continue and continue to find situations to feed it, so you have to consciously try to let it go and slowly move up this ladder. Little adjustments into your level of energy drastically affect your life.

Some other things that have happened since coming back to Bulgaria is my phone (with a case) getting its screen shattered (the most unlucky drop), my laptop deciding not to connect to any new WiFi networks, and my laptop’s screen frame deciding to totally break off.

“Coincidences?” You tell me. Most “scientists” would state that all of these things are coincidences, but the fact is I’ve got a more destructive energy running through me.

My neck is so tight, my body hurts, my emotions feel bad (when I’m not feeling numb), I’ve over-exceeded my monthly budget already, and so much more. My level of energy has vastly dropped.

I intended for Bulgaria to be reuniting with friends and having fun, and judging it out to whether I could live here permanently in the future (as I’m deciding to live between Phoenix, Sofia, or Chiang Mai).

And I may have found my answer.

While these problems are not directly caused by Sofia herself, there’s something here (and I feel it’s not just my ex) that are triggering me and causing these negative emotional loops. Perhaps it’s even the vibe itself!

Whatever it is, and I don’t know for sure yet, my level of energy has dropped drastically which is dropping my quality of life, work productivity, and progress on all my goals. I’m energetically more in a destructive state than a productive state, so the fear that I have in staying here is legitimate.

If I can’t get out of this state and back into my happy old Thailand self, I’ll have to leave ASAP. Every day I’m considering buying a flight the next day because I know how energy dynamics work just enough to know that where I’m at now is dangerous for myself and those around me.

The question I can’t get over though is… why? My ex absolutely can’t be the cause of this, though it’s possible.

The crazy thing is to be honest this began in Thailand the day of the flight. I was feeling like my great, normal self until I got to the airport.

Immediately in the airport as well as Dubai airport I could feel my level of energy start to drop. I began to descend into a kind of anger and frustration more so than what I typically experience when I travel.

The struggle of adjustment is definitely a part of the pain, but the fact is I feel it would’ve been easier to show up into any other European country than Bulgaria!

I’ve even felt a negativity towards all humans. Paranoia and fear to meet some of my old friends, and anger for all kinds of various reasons despite interactions being positive and not half as bad as I imagined they would go.

While talking to a friend about this today, he reminded me that I was “free” and could go anywhere I wanted to. I don’t have to be somewhere I don’t like.

I then had an intuitive feeling (and thought): I don’t think I even want to be here.

Maybe it took me coming to Bulgaria to realize that, but it could be true that I simply don’t want to be here.

Another one of my entrepreneurial friends left for Finland. He reported being significantly more happy since leaving, one of the main reasons being that girls are “more normal” in the sense that parties are easier to have and girls less flaky.

I didn’t even realize he considered that until I randomly said “damn, girls are flaky here.” I had met a few girls even while my vibe is positive, but all of them have flaked (besides one with a boyfriend who would just want to meet as a group of friends).

This could be my level of energy, or… I wonder if it isn’t the vibe of the places affecting me more than I could’ve imagined.

People do crazy things to pack up and live around the world for various reasons. Perhaps the last time I was here Bulgaria was a level up from where I was, but now it’s a level down and thus dragging me down a bit.

I don’t know, man. All I know is that it’s been a shocking 9 days and tomorrow will be the 10th day. The time has flown by and I don’t feel good about that in any sense at all.

It feels that I am trapped, and as I’ve written before, I feel it is all pointless.

Whereas before there was a purpose to overcoming heartbreak and adversity, now I feel there is no reason to try to overcome this pain, making all the more dangerous & painful within me.

I overcame the pain of my ex. Seeing her triggered guilt, apathy, grie, fear, desire, and anger all at once though as well as other memories associated with Bulgaria and perhaps being here in general.

Why should I have to fight through this pain all over again when I’ve done everything to get past it in the first place?

The scariest part is seeing the manifestations of this negativity already. My laptop “coincidentally” falling apart. The encounter with the angry driver.

No, those weren’t coincidences. This is my average level of energy manifesting itself in reality which is a combination of victim mindset and anger (apathy & hate).

Occasionally holding in mind the image of Buddha or Tao or Jesus has helped me ease up, relax, and even let a few tears out (which may have increased my energetic level by 1-2 points), but I’ve still got quite a few ways to go.

Luckily for me a sensory deprivation float tank spa is offering a special deal in which I can get 10 floats for about $20 each for a single month, so I’ll probably buy a bundle pack and do a ton of back to back sensory deprivation float tanks to try relax from these energetic patterns.

As I say over and over, if my level of energy does not stabilize then I must be out of Bulgaria.

I guess the reason I keep writing that is really just as a reminder to myself and announcement to the world that I refuse to let my level of energy fall. I’ve made a ton of progress, and I won’t let myself fall back down.

What do you think of this post? What do you think caused my energy to drop, and how would you suggest increasing it?

And what do you think your level of energy is? See charge below:

Peace, -Michael