This is the fourth (and likely final) series of “break ups” related posts. Writing about all of this has strangely helped my thoughts a lot, and also visiting Montreal has helped a ton too.
To view the whole series, click HERE. As I’m feeling a lot better, this fourth post in the Break Ups series will much more positive.
Embracing The Pain Through Exercise
One thing which really helps a break up is HARD exercise. Since my tough break up I’ve ran more laps around the neighborhood than ever before, and also have taken up rigorous yoga training.
I can now “invert” for at least 15 seconds. Inversion is when you hold your whole body up with just your hands!
This makes me extremely happy because I wanted to achieve this goal in 6 months, but instead I achieved it in 1-2 months! Once I got over the mental hurdle and believed in my arms a bit more, it became extremely easy.
Wow, thank you everyone for your great responses on Break Ups I and Break Ups II! I’ve enjoyed writing about this topic, and many of you can relate, so we will keep the train going into Break Ups III. Here we go…
Growth Isn’t Felt
One common theme of the responses of others suffering break ups, and from my experience, is that you lose the ability to feel growth or improvement for a little while. This is, in my opinion, one of the worst things about the break up.
For example, the past month and two have been the best months in business EVER! I should feel excited about how much income I brought in. I also got flown out by a client and had some epic fun. I now also have the most amount of cash on hand I’ve ever had before, too.
I’ve also received examples from readers like you, who have described making new friends, learning new skills, making more money, traveling to new places, and learning about yourself yet not feeling like you actually gained anything.
I’m recovering from a tough break up, and so have been writing random break up thoughts & random advice that comes to mind. Here is part one.
It also received a good response (thank you to all who responded), so I’ll definitely write a few more posts about thoughts on break ups.
Here are some more misc. thoughts on break ups!
Understanding The End
One thing that really sucks about break ups is you can’t really understand the “end” of the relationship, except in some situations.
When you really truly love someone, and you’ve spent a lot of time with them, and things were great at some point, it kind of fucks with your mind to compare those good times with the present heart break feelings… and loneliness of that person being gone.
I’ve tried to reflect back on my previous relationship, and let me tell you: it’s near impossible to figure out what exactly ended the relationship.
What doesn’t help is that almost no break up is a “clean” break up. There is a saying “it was over before it was over,” meaning that at some point the break up was inevitable but not yet initiated.
Break ups are arguably one of the most traumatic things someone can experience in their life.
If you’re being rejected, it’s kind of like the other person is saying “your genes don’t deserve to reproduce” (on an ultra-logical level).
If you have to do the rejecting, it also hurts a lot because you can have conflicting feelings; you can both love the person, and wish to be treated better.
As I’m still struggling 5 months later to get over a break up, I just wanted to write down some thoughts about break ups you might relate to.
Breaking Up With Someone… Harder or Easier?
There’s this notion that “breaking up with someone” is easier than being broken up with, but I’d actually argue that it’s the other way around.
If someone breaks up with me, I can easily say “well they didn’t want me, time to improve myself,” etc. and move on. Granted it still hurts a shit ton, but for whatever reason I feel it’s a lot easier.
Same if someone cheats with you. You can just go “oh that person is a [insert favorite profanity here]” and move on.