Category Archives: Success Mindsets

All In or All Out

When I took magic mushrooms for the first time over a year ago, I knew it would be deeply spiritual, but I never could’ve guessed just how important the messages would be to me.

I learned several key lessons in that first trip, which I wrote down, saved, and some of which I remind myself of to this today.

One of those lessons is this: all in, or all out.

All In or All Out

Life is full of decisions. You could eat at a million different restaurants, live in countless countries and countless cities, date countless people, and work too many jobs to fulfill a dozen lifetimes.

We each feel particularly called to something, which is our “heart” or “intuition.” It’s very important that we listen to it.

The whole Universe works to help you follow your own path, even if it doesn’t seem like it.

Events which we consider “bad luck” could actually be events which are designed to change our course and bring us unknowingly to riches we deserve.

How many stories are there of someone getting fired, then finding what they are truly passionate in? Suddenly they feel so grateful for getting fired, otherwise they may be dying slowly on the 9-5 grind they never really wanted.

Sometimes though you face a crossroad where there isn’t a clear path. The choice is up to you.

You should always consult your heart, and if your intuition doesn’t say “no” to any of them, then try listen closely to see what feels better. Sometimes it doesn’t matter- but you still have to make a choice.

You can’t live with regrets though. Sometimes you follow your heart and not everything goes to plan, or something unexpected which we call “bad” happens.

Should you have not followed your heart? No because in following your heart, you often learn to listen deeper, and your heart becomes wiser in its decisions.

Sometimes your heart knows that it must go through some pain and growth or loss in order to get something which it wants. The heart wants what it wants, but it also wants you to feel good, creating conflict.

This is where success barriers come in- we avoid doing what we know we really must do.

With anything, you need to be “all in” or “all out.” If you make a decision, go all in with it in that moment- if you can’t, then maybe you should be all in for the other decision.

The problem with many, including sometimes myself, is that they make a decision but think of the other, or hold regrets, or always wonder “what if…”

One great way to make decisions is ask whether you’d regret something because you know that if you would not be all in for the other decision and regret not taking the other path then it is a path you truly must take.

I’m speaking even of the small things here- if you can’t be all in for eating Mexican food tonight, then why should you go eat Mexican sitting there wondering what Italian food might taste like on your tongue?

Sometimes we make a decision and there’s no clear path. There is no good answer. In these cases it still makes the best sense to go all in for one decision.

If you make a decision but don’t take responsibility for it, then you can only be bitter at the world for that it didn’t work out exactly as you desired.

If you make an uncertain decision certain, then you can be “all in” and fully responsible for the outcomes, even if you can’t control it completely.

In this way you become the captain of your life, guiding yourself through life. You listen to your heart, and you follow it, knowing that things may not always go as planned but that it’s your true path.

There may be nothing worse on this Earth than not following your true path.

To fail in the face of authenticity is to have earned yourself a wonderful experience of following your heart, an experience which may just lead to your treasure.

To fail in the face of inauthenticity is to have cut yourself twice- once for denying your heart, and once for failing also.

The pain of not following your heart is greater than any pain you could experience by following your heart.

The nagging feeling of your heart whispering “I want to do this” is enough to drive man mad.

For long I’ve ignored the next big step in my path, and now that I’m taking it, it feels scary, but I know that I am living true and that whatever fault may come it is for better.

There is risk, of course. I don’t say anything of the future, either- I will not say where my path will go, just that I think I know where it goes, and I believe that I’ll arrive where I desire to arrive.

Of course, the path may change to get there, but I have faith as long as I follow my heart everything will turn out- it always does.

Try to follow your heart, be all in for it. We both know you can’t be “all out,” for that is to not be alive, and you are here now for a reason. You know it intuitively.

Promise your heart you will listen to it, that you will do what it asks of you.

And when you need to make any decision, be all in or all out. Not fully down for it? Don’t do it.

If you are uncertain, choose to be all in because there is no other choice. It is pointless to take one weak step in either direction, when you could choose to take a step with power, even if you don’t know what the right decision is.

Fortune favors the bold, which requires you to be all in.

All in, or all out. Choose. Now.

Done.

-Michael

Fear is Your Compass

We humans fear success more than we do failure- I don’t know why, but that’s just the case.

I mean sure we pretend to fear failure, especially if we’ve some arbitrary degree of status or success that we might lose.

But what we really fear is moving up and embracing a new reality. Is it just the fear of change, or is there more to it?

I’ve watched all kinds of videos on this. Some people suggest that we have resistance because our primal brains just want to do what’s comfortable and what brings short-term rewards.

Another video suggested that we fear failure because back in caveman times we subconsciously knew that rising up in status too fast would trigger jealousy in others (in theory), and so we would keep ourselves at the level everyone else thought us to be to avoid unnecessary attention.

Whatever it is, I’d argue that success is scarier in a way than failure. With it comes power, responsibility, and a complete transformation of yourself.

In failing, you only have to enter a “derp” state and become less of yourself. You can dull out the pain with social media, YouTube, drugs, sex, TV, you name it.

What if you become rich? Now guilt-vampires may chase you down, reminding you that other people don’t have it so good.

Or worse: your friends and family may beg from money from you, and exploit your kindness.

You may wake up just to realize that all your friends & family were fake all along, and that they never really were authentic… Now that you’re a crab coming out of the bucket, everyone wants to pull you back down.

Maybe your girlfriend or boyfriend gets insanely jealous. They attack you with all their might, despite being the one person who was supposed to always be with you.

If you fail, they criticize you and work with the world to push you down, but if you succeed they grab onto you and pull you down, because they don’t get to be in the limelight.

I don’t know what it is, but you can’t lie to me and say that you don’t know what you really want to do- you have at least a sense of direction with where you want to go, or riches you wish to have.

Today I was talking with a friend about business, and we got really excited. We realized how simple business really is.

All you have to do is create a good ad, run it, sell a top-funnel product that breaks-even, and then create an upsell offer and you’ll be literally printing money.

If you don’t understand what I just wrote there, I promise it only takes a day’s worth of immersion to figure out what it means. Boom, instantly you’ll have the framework to be excessively rich from internet marketing.

The next steps are just to figure out how to write great ad copy, target the ad properly, get a great product, and sell the product. It’s really not complicated- it’s not super easy, but the path is there to walk, and it doesn’t take years to achieve riches.

But… it often does. I’ve remained mostly at the same income level for the past year. In fact, I haven’t really done too much in the past 2 years.

I’ve noticed that sometimes when I tried to get new clients I’d start sneezing a lot, get a headache, feel numb, self-sabotage, self-attack, and feel like an imposer, as if I wasn’t good enough to make a certain income level.

Anyways, my current income level is fantastic. I can enjoy a wonderful life in Bulgaria or Southeast Asia that many could only dream of.

The idea of doubling my income- something which in actuality is extremely easy to do- is quite exciting but in a sense also over-stimulating.

One psychology article I read suggested that the excitement associated with growing a business can often be subconsciously mixed up with the same excitement experienced during a traumatic situation which previously caused PTSD.

I’ve had diagnosed PTSD before, from a situation in which a gay guy tried to rape me in my sleep. I’ve also experienced severe bullying in school.

Because I have experienced these terrible things does my brain associate the overwhelming excitement with becoming financially free with these things? Is my brain circuitry a bit messed up?

This explanation actually makes a lot of sense, and even if you haven’t had one single-defining traumatic moment of your life (studies suggest many more have, you’re not alone!), you’ve likely experienced some emotional turmoil such so that you associate excitement with fear, and get emotionally overstimulated.

That which lies beyond comprehension is scary. I think of what tripling my income would do for me, which I could do, but haven’t yet:

I could take first-class long-haul flights, live in luxurious villas anywhere, make same-day travel decisions instead of budgeting, buy anything anywhere that I want. My income is good for a 21 year old (just turned 21 today!). Tripling it would be insane!

For a mixture of reasons, success is over-stimulating to us. The good is SO amazing that we don’t go for it. It’s too unknown, too much change, and we also use the fear of failure as an excuse not to move on.

One dangerous thing that traps a lot of people is when “a little success” prevents them from getting “a lot of success.” That has happened to me.

Someone makes a little money, but then in fear of making more, they never take the risk to make more, so they just stay where they are at.

Example: I know that I should run ads to try get new clients, especially now that my Facebook Ads skills has been validated. If I just dedicated $1,000 per month for ads, I could sign on several clients which allows me to scale my business very quickly.

The problem is: that $1k could go towards my savings in the event something goes wrong, or it could go towards paying tax debt that I owe. In the short-term, the 1k is very valuable, especially in terms of financial security.

One post on Reddit said “the middle class is when $100 isn’t a lot to make but it’s a lot to lose.”

That is so true- making a few hundred bucks is not exciting to me. I am in no hurry to do that because it wouldn’t change much. Dealing with that low of clients is not worth my time.

Losing a few hundred? That would affect me quite a bit. There’s A LOT I can buy with a few hundred bucks. That could be my food budget for the month, or in a place like Bali where my rent is currently $425 per month (and it could be less), that’s almost an entire month’s worth of rent!

At the end of the day, it’s all just excuses. Fear is the compass. You shouldn’t be reckless, though reckless people still often end up multi-millionaires.

What does fear is the compass mean? It means that what you’re afraid to do, you should probably do.

You should probably go talk to that girl. You should do that work out. You should probably run those ads, Michael!

Following Your Path

Following your heart is not always easy, and I’m still working on it every day. It’s what we all intuitively know needs to be done, but so few people actually do it.

One way to get started is to create a plan. Then the next hardest step is taking the first step.

A huge modern-day trap people have is “information paralysis.” There is so much information on getting started. You could watch countless videos on picking up girls, but one approach is better than all the videos you could watch by a certain point.

It’s easy to theorize, talk, plan, and learn but where is the actual growth? That’s done by walking the walk.

I just wrote a post earlier about a complete fake who received so many interviews, and was to be a Tedx speaker, yet was essentially broke. Those people are habitually addicted to the validation of appearing successful, without actually being successful.

Instagram makes it too easy to be those people. The only thing that matters in business is the profit you’re making and the clients you’re servicing, but you could just take nice photos of “the hustle” all day and make people think that you’re working.

Then you can wonder why it took 4 years to get your business going… maybe it’s because those types wasted all their time doing BS work, rather than what really counts (like making sales).

In my own life, I’m walking my own path. I’m terrified. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the fear of not being good enough. We fear that we don’t deserve the income, especially when so many others don’t have that income.

I know what I need to do, and finally walking the path is… exhilarating. It’s not always pleasant.

Sometimes I created an ad for a client that flopped right on its face, and I had to awkwardly explain why we spent $100+ for a lead that will go nowhere.

But now, I’m finally seeing the results come in. I’m finally developing my Facebook Ads skills.

I’ve finally got some clients (that I’m working with for free until my skills are validated) to run Ads for, and I’m finally seeing that I am deserving and skillful in this.

I’m doing what I’ve wanted to do.. for years. It didn’t take years of hard work to reach this level.

It could’ve been done so much faster. Probably in months. You could reach this success level in a mere 3-6 months, but success is more about overcoming mental blocks than it is about actually progressing.

When I spoke to my friend this morning, we realized just how easy building wealth is. I told you how earlier. The theory is so simple. The focused work, potential rejections, potential flops, and every other obstacle isn’t that bad but it’s all your mentality about it.

Lifting weights isn’t hard. It takes maybe 5 hours per week. Running isn’t hard. It takes 20 minutes a few mornings per week. Business isn’t hard. It just takes studying & working a few hours per day.

Everything is only hard in our minds because deep down, we’re afraid. We’re terrified. We have some resistance. We don’t know why it’s there. Logically we know that even if all our fears come true the success is more than worth it.

It’s all a battle in the mind, one we each must fight alone.

Fear is the compass. What you fear most, you know you must do.

The path is yours.

-Michael

Why Getting Rich is Noble

Note: I am not revising this post because of its length, and I typically avoid touchy subjects like this anyways because I quite honestly don’t like angry messages in my inbox about situations more complex than above most of our heads (INCLUDING MINE).

The really short, condensed version is on the very bottom… a little TL;DR. The super-short version is that creating wealth ethically benefits everyone else because to make money you must give value to other people. This article focuses only on ethical wealth, no durr building wealth without ethics is wrong and far from noble. 🙂

Yesterday a friend hit me up asking me for some advice on his response to a deep ethical question. I liked it, but one statement triggered me: he said that we are all “killing people by omission” by not donating more money to charity.

Not only do I disagree with this, I think it’s very backwards and that getting rich is one of the most noble things you can do assuming it is done ethically.

Okay, let me make this 1,000% clear: ASSUMING IT IS DONE ETHICALLY! Like yeah, you can rob a bank and get rich but that’s fucked up.

Also, let’s make a very clear note: I normally avoid political talks because it gets people triggered and creates circular fights that lead nowhere. The truth is, situations like poverty & homelessness are so fucking complicated that neither of us can really understand it.

So when I give my thoughts here, note that it’s not 100% complete, I’m still open to well-constructed arguments, but most of the time I ignore taking part in such debates because they go circular and no understanding is had… but time is wasted. I will try put counter-points in my thoughts so we can understand the other side too (in the end to better reinforce the side that getting rich is good).

The only reason I debated with this friend was because he’s an epic friend, and he had a bad belief that needed some shaking up. I was surprised when he wanted me to write this blog post about the talk, but I figured fair enough, let’s go and write one slightly political post.

Here is why getting rich is noble, and more importantly it benefits everyone:

The Complexity Factor

Note: this is SO complicated, the whole issue of charity / getting rich / people being poor so try to keep an open mind and think of how everything affects everything. Some solutions sound bad but work well, and others sound good but turn out bad. Try to think deep. This article will be all over the place, building a huge point at the end. Hang tight.

Again: this post is gonna be all over the place. Strap in and try let it all come together. I confess this won’t be my most coherent post as I’m a bit tired and sick. I’ll try make it all wrap together, but I’ll probably have to write a 2.0 later and take days properly researching & writing.

The Inspiration Factor

This part is debatable because some people respond to success of others differently. In an ideal world, we’d all get inspired.

I am one who gets inspired. When I read “The 4 Hour Work Week” by Tim Ferriss, any chance of me going to University & getting a job were shattered. I was so damn inspired I decided I’d be an entrepreneur for the rest of my life!

Because of his book I now make money online, and have traveled the world for almost 2 years now visiting 13+ countries and living in at least 4 for over a month.

When you get rich, you inspire others. Well, some others might get jealous, but in my humble opinion it’s kind of a choice.

You can look at someone and say “I don’t have what you have so you don’t deserve it” or you can say “wow I’d like to create that too!” One mentality keeps everyone poor & limited, and the other uplifts the world.

We need people getting rich and then inspiring others because it gets people out of the shit-hole that they’re in in the first place!

Have you ever been around a couple that has a great relationship? It is damn well inspiring to get a great relationship yourself! Conversely, how have you felt when you observed a couple get abusive or fight? Probably drained.

Get rich and inspire others. Some of my biggest breakthroughs have been sitting next to millionaires who have told me that it’s possible.

The Guilt Factor

The belief that “we are killing people by omission” [by not donating our money to charity NOW] is unhealthy because it prevents you from taking care of yourself. It assumes that responsibility of others falls on you, which it doesn’t.

You can only take responsibility for yourself. Yes, life is kind of fucked up. But you shouldn’t hold yourself back because someone else is starving. That’s called “crabs in a bucket” mentality.

I don’t meet a lot of rich people that are guilt-stricken with the suffering of others: instead they focus on themselves, then their family, then their friends, and then finally the world.

Is that so wrong? No. Absolutely not. It is wrong to force someone to take care of someone else.

Should you try? Absolutely. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t try, or that if someone gets hurt and needs help in front of you that you don’t help them.

All I’m saying is that someone starving in a far-off country is far different than a true crime of omission, which would be for example not feeding your children. By the way I was taught in school, a “crime of omission” involves a factor of responsibility, which is not present in the case of charity.

Occasionally people try to make you feel guilty for not taking care of others- again though, that’s just wrong. It holds your life back. For reasons I’ll describe later, you should never hold yourself back and guilt yourself over those “meaningless” purchases and “little luxuries” (don’t get triggered yet, more on this later).

In short, feeling guilty because someone else is suffering only holds your own life back. For reasons described later, that’s terrible for everyone involved… (seriously, this is a huge point, please read on)

The Real Cause of Starvation/Poverty

The argument my friend primarily made was that donating money would feed people that need the money, instead of spending it on “useless purchases” (ie. massages).

The problem with this, in my opinion, is that it doesn’t address the actual CAUSE of the starvation or poverty. It’s just like medicine how people get prescribed insane drugs without addressing the cause so they never fix their mental problems or health problems.

Throwing $ at the problem doesn’t solve starvation. You can “give a man a fish for a day, or teach him how to fish.”

Most people that are poor don’t know how to participate in the local economy. Poor nations have a poor economy. Donating doesn’t fix that cause, but can cause complications. More on this later as well.

However getting rich stimulates the economy, at least in your local area. In cases such as internet businesses you have the capacity to outsource to places like India which sends money to their local economies.

What’s better: donating $5 or building your business, hiring Indian programmers and supplying them with a living?

Now if your business collapses, they still have skills/past experience to get another job, compared to just throwing money at them- if the money stops coming, they starve again, but if they have skills (and you incentivize people to get skills), then the economy improves.

The outsourced Indian workers then have money to spend into their local economy too which boosts everyone there.

Starvation is a Recurring Problem

My friend made the mistake of saying that “donating $300 saves a life.” Well, no- actually not.

We don’t live in a 3-dimensional world. We have also the dimension of times (and who knows what else?).

When you donate $300 to save a starving kid, you do not necessarily save their life. You buy them a month. That’s it. Then they die. Problem solved?

Now in some cases, you send someone $300, and then they get a job the next month and you save their life and they live happily ever after. I’m referring to chronically terrible places where starvation is a problem (ie. some African countries).

Again, this goes back to the whole “fix the cause thing.” You could send someone a fish, but unless you can send a fish a day for the rest of your life you don’t save their life.

You are one fish poorer, and they die the next day anyways. Problem not solved.

Donating… Often Fails

Google “donating does more harm than good.” The studies that have been done are… shocking.

Let’s be honest: a huge reason we donate is because we want to feel good, nothing else. I tip $5 and I feel like I’m a good human. Did I actually improve the world?

Let’s say you donate fish to a poor African village. Great, you solved hunger. But guess what: there are long-reaching effects; it’s too short-sighted to think that you solved the problem.

Now all local food industries have been disrupted. Who’s gonna open a restaurant or fishing company when they could get fish for free, from you? What happens when the donations stop- well there are no local businesses (because they couldn’t survive), so now everyone goes hungry and dies!

Am I saying you should never donate? No. I’m just saying you really need to research which charities actually have impact.

Another example of this is some “genius” who thought they should send 1 million shirts to some African country. Great, right? Now the locals have clothes!

Wrong. Now everyone who owned a clothing business goes out of business. You’ve disrupted the local economy.

Again, research this on Google. A simple Google search will reveal countless studies.

Energy & Vibes

The rich children stay rich adults, and the poor children stay poor adults: why? Answer: energy & vibes. You could also replace this with “mentality” to be less metaphysical.

It has been scientifically demonstrated that everyone has a “comfort level” of wealth. If you lose your job, you’ll scramble to find another at the same level plus or minus 10%.

The same is true though if you make too much money and aren’t prepared for it. Have you heard of the countless lottery winners who ruined their lives?

So many professional athletes & lottery winners get A TON of money, but then they lose it all because they were not prepared to handle such wealth in their life! They still had a “poor personal mentality” and lost all their wealth too fast.

On the other hand, you’ll also see rich people have their business fail then a couple years later they’re all rich and comfy again. How?

I’d recommend reading “The Science of Getting Rich,” as there is great information on this. This is also why charity isn’t always effective.

Have you also ever observed a friend date the same bad person over and over? Maybe the habitually date a cheater, or someone that’s abusive?

That’s because the subconscious mind is weird as fuck, and we basically go back to whatever we are subconsciously comfortable with, even if that’s poverty & starvation.

By getting rich you actually inspire others because you directly influence their “vibe” by showing them wealth creation IS possible!

For myself, to make money online & travel the world, I had to do all kinds of affirmations & visualizations just to push back the barriers. Looking back, it isn’t hard at all to do this- it’s just a mental thing.

It’s shocking actually to see me write this. 4 years ago me would be shocked and slightly angered someone could suggest this life is easy.

The thing is, making money online while traveling the world is my definition of “normal” and “comfortable” now. Take away my clients, and I’ll find my way back to this level in max 6 months.

Could you achieve this level in 6 months? Yes, but you have to do A LOT of visualization work & surround yourself with people living this lifestyle so that your subconscious mind realizes it’s possible, and begins getting familiar with it.

The problem with so many charities is they don’t address this deep, root cause of recurring poverty, abuse, starvation, etc.

People DO break out of their circumstances and CAN change of course, it’s just hard. At a very general scale you see that people born into a certain socioeconomic class will likely stay in it.

It takes a lot of focus to move on a socioeconomic class for no other reason than it’s your “vibe” or “energy” or “mentality” or whatever you want to call it.

Getting rich is great because you’re forced to change your vibe, which also changes other people’s vibes (indirectly or directly)! It raises everyone up! More importantly you also stop straining the system and holding others back too.

Everything is Connected- Think 100 Moves Ahead!

The best chess masters are prepared several moves in advance. The problem with many solutions like “just donate your money to charity” is that it doesn’t think of the far-reaching effects of such a thing.

For example, let’s say you start to donate 50% of your income to charity and live like a minimalist.

Now less money is going into your local economy, which also affects the world economy, and by just handing out free money you’re disrupting the economies of people receiving the money, and you’re also not addressing the cause of the problem.

I’m trying to address some of the far-reaching effects here, but you really have to think about it and do A LOT of research.

I’m an idealist at heart (my personality is literally ENFP, and NF types are “idealists”) and struggle in relationships because I’m too ideal- seeing the best in my partner, but not being realistic.

The same is true of so many feel-good programs like “donating” or “charity.” They’re more selfish than good, focused on making you feel like you’re doing something good when really the far-reaching effects are different.

Maybe you do something good today, but how does your actions today affect tomorrow and the following days? As it’s said, “good intentions pave the road to hell.”

Should Billionaires Give Up Their Money?

Okay, so maybe you’re convinced: us regular people don’t really have a huge effect, and based on new research it turns out that donating isn’t always the smartest thing to do.

Furthermore, it actually does better to focus on creating your own wealth than taking responsibility for everyone else (but I still have more writing to do than “the inspiration factor,” so hang tight- I’m addressing other points first).

First we need to address a bigger kid on the block: the billionaires, millionaires, and other ultra-rich people.

Should they be forced to give up all their wealth? They could end hunger for some time. They have SO MUCH money, surely it’s not fair, right?

Important note: we are talking about ETHICAL BILLIONAIRES! Obviously unethical people are a different story.

My friend almost had me here, but then I thought about it: why are people so rich like Jeff Bezos? How did they earn such wealth?

Jeff Bezos created Amazon, which employs almost 650,000 people. It’s safe to say that Amazon has created jobs for over 1 million people around the world (likely tens of millions).

For example, I worked for a client that helped people get products on Amazon. My client literally could not have his business unless Amazon existed! I could not have him as a client unless Amazon existed.

Because Jeff Bezos created Amazon, my former client had an entire living helping other people sell on Amazon (which is how his clients made a living), and how I got paid- by the way, I used the funds from this client to invest in my health, which was poor at the time.

Think about it: millions of people have jobs & a complete living because of Jeff Bezos creating Amazon. He’s done more good in the world than any of us.

Should he be forced to give up his wealth because he has too much and others don’t have enough? Honestly, I don’t think that’s fair. The fact is he created millions of jobs- people have livings and families because of this man.

It’s so selfish and greedy to think that we should take this man’s money away from him because “other people have it bad.” Again, it doesn’t mean that it’s okay that others have it bad, but it’s not morally right to take from people that earned their money themselves.

Jeff isn’t “killing by omission” as my friend originally said- he actually helped more people than anyone else, and so he deserves his wealth!

The same is true of say Bill Gates, who also employs hundreds of thousands of people directly and created several other jobs related to his industry.

Again, I go back to the point of “throwing money at the problem doesn’t fix the problem.” It puts a band-aid on it that doesn’t heal the wound. Morphine doesn’t cure a broken leg- a cast does.

To really understand why billionaires deserve their money, we need to ask ourselves:

Note: also a lot of people don’t seem to realize that “net worth” is not fluid. Jeff Bezos has like a 150 billion dollar net worth, but that doesn’t mean he has 150 million in cash. It can include assets such as his company or real estate.

How is Wealth Created?

This is the biggest question which makes this entire argument valid. If you get wealthy by stealing from others, then obviously being a billionaire is wrong.

Remember: we’re focusing on ethics. There are ethical billionaires and unethical ones, just like there are bad boys and good boys, and bad girls and bad boys, and shit food and great food.

Assuming wealth is created ethically, there’s one primary way to make wealth: provide value to others. I recommend researching more on this topic.

Think about it: why do you buy anything? It’s because you need it more than you need the money, that’s it!

If you provide a product which is worth more than $20, AND people want it or need it, people will pay you for it.

I have no problem paying $150 for a one-way from Phoenix to Montreal because I think that’s an epic value. I would not pay $500 for one-way Phoenix to Montreal because that is not a valuable exchange for me.

When I was young I purchased a lot of video games because they were an epic value- $60 for months worth of fun? The answer was a no-brainer- hell yes!

I would not personally pay $500 for GTA 5 (video game), but $60 is a price point I can handle.

What billionaires do is create products that are SO valuable to society that countless people use them.

Jeff Bezos created Amazon- have you used Amazon? Odds are, yes. If you live in USA, then you will enjoy super fast shipping. With Amazon Prime, you can get free 2-day shipping and sometimes products arrive the same fucking day that you order them!!

If you don’t like someone, you can always vote with your dollar. Order from someone else besides Amazon. Don’t purchase anything related to Amazon. You will suffocate Amazon just a bit from its life force which is money.

Money is neither good or bad. It just is. It’s a tool. Remember that!

In short, wealth is created by giving value. This is true for a job too- you say “$x per hour is what my time is worth,” and then you work at that. Think you deserve more? You must find someone who agrees you’re worth more, and then you’ll make more.

Of course, there are unethical ways to make money such as employee exploitation and theft, but the way to fix this is to inspire people to find better employers and protect their assets better (and occasionally legal recourse).

Because wealth is created by giving value ultra-rich are in no way wrong for what they have.

People like Jeff Bezos created a platform (Amazon) which allows consumers to get what they want at an affordable price, and on the flip side he also employees several employees and helped create several side-industries (such as Amazon consultant & Amazon Ads experts).

Taking away their money and just throwing it away doesn’t help the economy! That’s the key thing everyone must realize. A society does well when money is flowing between people, and new industries and wealth can be created.

When you donate it, sometimes great things happen- that I don’t disagree with, and as a society as a whole that is necessary. However no individual is “killing by omission” by not donating- in fact, on the contrary, by becoming abundant themselves they actually contribute to the economy.

Are you not an entrepreneur? Guess what, you’re still creating jobs.

For example, I have clients that I work for, and recently I’ve purchased some massages here in Bali. I am temporarily hiring these people to work for me, providing the service of a sweet, sweet massage.

Is it unnecessary? Yeah. But it’s probably more effective than just donating the money. I am stimulating the local Balinese economy, helping locals stay in business, and now with this money these wonderful locals can spend this money on things they want in life, which will continue to help their money flow around.

Remember: when wealth flows, everyone benefits and anyone can get rich easier.

A recession occurs when no money is flowing, so starting new businesses is more difficult because people are less likely to buy. Jobs are less easily created, and companies often have to lay people off.

Other Income Sources

Note: there are other sources of income that don’t involve giving value, such as trading in concurrency. I made some money in late 2017 on Bitcoin and Litecoin. I was not providing value to anyone.

These are viable methods to make money, and are still better than demanding others take care of you- because the money can then be fueled into an economy. However I’d personally recommend on giving value because markets always change.

Too often do people get rich with a crypto, then lose it on another investment. It’s a little “hack” through a market inefficiency, and it’s not sustainable in my humble opinion.

The fact is the easiest way to get rich is provide massive value to people.

Can Wealth be Created?

Everything I’ve said is all great n’ all. We’ve covered how donating can disrupt local economies and sometimes isn’t effective (remember, I’m not saying always, just oftentimes- do research on the studies).

We’ve covered how the ultra-rich (assuming ethical) deserve their wealth, and that wealth is created by giving value. We’ve covered how getting rich yourself stimulates the economy and benefits everyone, in a longer and more sustainable way. We’ve covered how you can only be responsible for yourself, and no one is responsible for anyone else inherently.

One final question remains: can wealth be created? Maybe it’s true the ultra-rich earned their wealth, but are they “hoarding it from the rest of us?” Is wealth a zero-sum game?

The short-answer is no. You can look into this more, but I’ll prove it very simply here.

The zero-sum mentality game looks at life like monopoly. If one person makes money, another loses it.

What this neglects is the value exchange- remember, I value the massage more than my money, and then that money can flow back to me.

It also neglects the fact that money is printed off and simply a tool used to facilitate exchanges.

Wealth can be created by this simple fact: we have planes. If wealth couldn’t be created, we wouldn’t have advanced past the caveman era because one man’s wealth would turn into another’s loss.

Perhaps in the grand scheme of the Universe there’s some wealth cap, but right now it’s infinitely higher than we could imagine!

So much energy can be harnessed by solar power alone. Research just how harnessing the entire sun’s power for just one day would power the Earth for… well, a really long time.

Right now wealth can be created by anyone.

Getting Rich is Noble: Helping Others/Yourself

One huge problem I have the idea with donating so much of your wealth away is that it neglects yourself. You’re essentially taking responsibility for others, and less for yourself!

What if you get dangerously sick, but don’t have the funds to support yourself because you have been donating money? Well, you’ll need help from family/friends/welfare. Congrats, you’re now a drain on society, undoing the good which you set out to do by donating.

It shouldn’t even be a moral question to donate until you’re financially set until the age 100.

Google: how many elderly are dependent on their children because they didn’t properly save for their retirement? How many people get life problems, then need financial support?

If you end up requiring the service of others, you undo any good you did because you “take” their money. Some health therapies can be incredibly expensive. If you live in a healthcare-free country, keep in mind that there are still similar situations in which you take money (ie. not being able to pay rent).

Remember: if you invest in the local economy (by improving your ability to give value and spend money in the economy) everyone will become richer.

Now what about friends/family? Here’s a dilemma: should you donate $1,000 to help a starving family in Africa, or use that $1,000 to pay for your spouse’s operation that would save their life?

I think most people would take care of their spouse, and that’s normal & fine. You are responsible primarily for yourself in life. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to guilt-trip you into taking your money. Still, it’s a tough one.

When you get rich, you can take care of yourself first, but then the next line of people you are responsible for: your kids, your family, your spouse, then finally your friends (not necessarily in that order).

What would you do if you donated $1,000 to charity, but then your spouse needed an operation for $1,000? And you had no more money?

Okay, this is an extreme example, but it makes you realize: you need to be rich to take care of your secondary responsibility, which is the people closest to you.

This is the way humanity improves & thrives. You can’t be responsible for people on the other side of the world or random people even in your own city.

AGAIN I MAKE THIS CLEAR: that doesn’t make it wrong that they suffer, and in an ideal world we could just take care of everyone. The whole point of this article is for us to realize that life is so much more complicated that what we’d ideally like.

Anyways, humanity thrives because we take care of those around us. If we get rich, we can take care of those around us. Hopefully those around us stay abundant as well, so that they can take care of people close to them (that we aren’t close to).

Then the cycle continues. This is a bit too idealistic, but the primary point stands: being financially abundant is also about taking care of those closest to you, too, before worrying about others.

Re-investment Into Yourself/Business

Another reason you need to focus on getting rich now instead of donating is for the simple fact that you can donate more later than now. Let’s say your ultimate goal is to donate a lot- that’s great.

But you don’t win the game by donating $1 per day for the rest of your life. You’re better off saving your donation money to invest in your business.

For example, what if I invest $1,000 into my business instead of charity, then I grow my business, which allows me to hire employees & stimulate the economy (so in the end the positive impact is much higher).

Or back on the donation level, let’s say I start to grow my business a ton, then by the time I die I die with a net worth of 20 million. That’s so much more money to donate than if I were to donate my profits as soon as I made them (by re-investing my profits I grow my business, increasing the end donation amount).

I stick fast to the “stimulating economy” part though- a lot of people brush over this when thinking about how to help others.

Self-care vs. Greed

So many people make it sound as if getting rich is some greedy, evil thing to do- but it isn’t!

As demonstrated, getting rich can actually benefit a ton of people. Let’s take my business for example.

I create lead ads for clients. I’m currently focused on realtors- so I get realtors clients that want to sell or buy a home by running Facebook Ads.

I get paid because I’m delivering value, so I’m happy. I can then spend this money on little luxuries which stimulates the economy. I can save for my future (and my future family’s) so that I don’t strain society at all in the event I have a disaster.

If I lose all of my clients, I have several month’s worth of savings to prevent me from having to take anyone else’s money. I am also saving to re-invest in my business.

When I buy things from others, even things which are “little luxuries,” this is not bad- it helps me live a better life, I am not responsible for anyone else, and in the end it’s positive because it gives these people jobs.. the money continues to flow!

My clients are satisfied because they get the value they search for. Their businesses improve, and they’re able to improve their service. In the example of realtors, they get clients and they can help these clients buy/sell a home.

My clients get paid from their clients, so they’re happy. They can do the whole spend money thing I described for me. Their clients then get a product/service that satisfies them. The satisfaction goes around, everyone wins.

By setting the goal of getting rich, I must service more clients. Actually, I now don’t even think about getting rich, my goal is to simply service X clients and deliver Y value because I now know money is a side-effect of giving value.

Wait: before continuing, you NEED to re-read that. SO MANY millionaires do the same! All of the ultra-rich I’ve met focus more on giving value than they do how much $ they’re getting. To get money, you must give value. Focus on that! NOT what you get! Set the goal of helping people and then getting paid!

Anyways, getting rich is self-care, and people that want to take from others love to label self-care as greed, as if it’s wrong to be well-off when others are suffering. That’s fucking awful, so many people get derailed because guilt-vampires put weights on people trying to move up.

You are not obligated to give to anyone. It is nice if you can and do, but absolutely not necessary. You are not killing by omission or committing a sin by not giving. You must take care of your life and inspire others to do the same.

Will you give? Yes. I will give & help others too. Don’t be silly here. The point is just that you can’t feel obligated towards giving, otherwise you’ll feel guilty about creating wealth, and so subconsciously prevent yourself from creating any wealth in the first place!

Don’t confuse self-care with greed. Guilt-vampires do this all the time. The two are very distinct and different.

This is NOT Anti-Charity

This is NOT an anti-charity post, this is a “why you should be rich” post, but often people getting rich are attacked by people saying “you should give all your excess wealth to charity,” which is just wrong to force someone to do that.

It’s clear that I want the best for everyone. If you do wish to donate, do a shit ton of research on how your funds are affecting the economy, whether the charity is legit, etc.

There are so many charities stealing money, living lavish, or doing things which sound/feel good but then disrupt the local economies of people in need, further pushing them down.

If you donate without doing several hours worth of research into the charity, then I’d highly re-consider why you’re even donating. Is it to feel that you’re moral? Do you feel guilty? Do you feel God is watching? Do you just want a quick hit of feeling good, thinking you’re doing something morally right? Were you guilt-tripped by others into it?

One of the beautiful things of getting rich is that you can give back! I love to leave big tips, especially in places that don’t expect it. If I eat an exceptional meal or have a wonderful massage, why not leave a little extra for them to enjoy?

Remember: it all trickles down, and giving in this way benefits everyone. In the case of tips, it’s not putting anyone out of business (ie. giving shirts to people in Africa then destroying the local clothing businesses) and it in fact reinforces wealth-creating behaviors (such as great service) instead of mooching behaviors.

There are several ways you can give to people, including those that are suffering & starving in poor countries. All I’m advising is that you should not let that make you guilty and prevent you from getting wealthy. As we’ve discussed, getting wealthy ethically can only benefit the world.

All I’m also saying is that you need to spend several hours to make sure your method of giving is actually benefiting society. Some charities take a % for themselves. Some do weird tax shit, others fuck up an economy.

Just play devil’s advocate for a while, and once you’ve found the right way to give you”re going to feel AMAZING when you do find the right place to give. Don’t give just to feel good, give to make an impact- and you’ll do great, and feel great.

Getting Rich is Noble

So why exactly is getting rich noble? So many reasons.

In this post I’ve tried to illustrate the point that mindlessly donating your wealth is a bad idea, and rather more selfish than actually getting rich.

Let’s be real: many people who donate do so just to feel good (because the idea of giving feels good). It’s good that donating feels good, or any type of charity. I think that we should all give back somehow. I’d like to try inspire others & help others as I become rich myself.

But we must not be short-sighted with our desire to feel good. Sending $100 to a starving family in Africa is nice but doesn’t address the bigger problems and the longer-reaching effects on their local economy.

It also doesn’t create a long-term beneficial impact for their lives. Sure it feels good, but is it really a great thing to do?

When you work on creating your own wealth, you inspire others to become rich- you also create new jobs & industries, even if you don’t hire others. You can afford extra luxuries, which are NOT bad, and you shouldn’t donate the money to charity instead. Take care of yourself first before considering taking care of others.

The extra luxuries like video games & massages provide jobs to other people. The money gets flowing, and the people that receive your money can then spend it on things. You’re now a player in the world economy.

When you work on creating your own wealth, you guarantee that you won’t become a drain on the system yourself. If you donate half your wealth and never re-invest in yourself (or your business), and then you get sick and require financial aid from friends/family, you’ve now caused a negative impact which just un-did all of the charitable work you did.

It makes more sense to become a millionaire and never donate so that in any terrible worst-case scenario with you, your family, or your friends can receive financial support without draining the system or others.

You need not feel guilty at all about not giving because not taking is already so valuable for society. Are you financially set for the rest of your life?

As hard as it is to say, it is not morally right to assume responsibility for anyone else. You can only take responsibility for yourself, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about that. Take care of yourself and live fully!

That doesn’t mean what’s going on elsewhere isn’t sad- it just means that it’s not your fault and so you have no obligation to take direct action. However strangely enough, simply by becoming financially secure you ensure that you won’t become a drain on society, which makes it easier for everyone else to get wealthy.

You need to invest in yourself, take care of those around you, and be responsible for you. We need to inspire to take the same action and not be dependent on anyone else.

Wealth can be created, and the ultra-rich are not bad (assuming their wealth was created ethically). The ultra-rich are in fact very much deserving of their wealth. We can’t criticize them because they’ve created more jobs & positive effects on society than any of us, so until we’ve contributed similar value we shouldn’t try to “steal” their money by demanding they give it away.

Self-care is so important, and guilt-vampires will try to make you feel guilty for wanting to be rich, as if it’s a zero-sum game, but as we’ve learned wealth can be created. You are actually benefiting the whole world by getting rich.

WARNING: Beware Fake “Successful” People

One day recently I woke up and saw that a “friend” on Facebook had just announced he was to be selected as a Tedx speaker.

My mouth dropped in shock, like you see in those comical movies- except no, there’s absolutely no fucking way in hell this guy deserves to be a Tedx speaker.

You see, this guy just ghosted his company because he hooked up with an employee who decided to press sexual assault charges on him. He has no money, yet gets interviewed and pasted on magazines about business success.

Based on what I’ve heard he’s fled the USA- my source (his co-founder at the company he fled) has no idea how he’ll even do this Tedx talk considering he may have ruined his chances to ever return to America.

But despite all this, you see his picture-perfect Facebook & Instagram photos… “Oh look at me, I’m going to be a Tedx speaker!”

The sad part is people fucking believe it, and if he finds a way back into the USA, he probably will give a Tedx talk about some other hype.

I even used to believe this guy was “all that!” Back a few years ago I actually took his business advice- and now months ago he confided in me as we made a business deal that they have no money, and that he had to downgrade apartments because he can’t afford rent.

In fact, this is a rather interesting story development…

A Story of Me & a “Successful” Friend

When I first moved to Phoenix, I had just turned 18- I was fresh, new to the world, and without much life experience.

All I knew is that I wanted to make lots of money, do something epic like travel, pick up girls, and live a great life.

I met this friend through a self-help Facebook group, and we clicked fast. Soon we were hitting parties & hitting up girls together. I didn’t know so much of what he did, but that didn’t matter.

When I started getting interested in business, I realized that this guy was a co-founder in a company. Awesome, I thought!

He suggested to me that I go to University & do something besides Facebook Ads because they “don’t work.” I of course ignored the advice, thinking it to be a bit strange. Other advice he gave sounded good (the typical hustle shit you see everywhere on Instagram).

For the last 4-6 months of Phoenix, I was pretty isolated due to some chronic pain, and we weren’t hanging out much. I don’t think he or anyone really believed in my goal of making money online and traveling the world, until I announced to family that I had a one-way out of the country.

When I returned he was quite shocked, and confessed he didn’t think I could actually do it so fast- but all’s well that ends well!

All up to this point, I was under the social media illusion that he was a successful CEO. He also had an epic, large apartment right in the party area in Phoenix where he regularly pulled girls to.

One of the last weekends I spent the weekend at his place because his roommate was gone and we actually had a blast throwing late-night parties and bringing people up from the party area to have a crazy fun time.

And Then, One Year Later…

So, no harm no foul- everything appeared normal. He had girls, money, he was the CEO, he lived in an epic apartment, etc.

I left Phoenix and lived in Sofia, Bulgaria and also traveled all around Europe for about a year before I returned to Phoenix. I became a lot more authentic as well.

When I returned for a short 3 weeks to see family and I met with him, I was quite… unimpressed by him.

He had put on a few pounds, and he was super obsessed with social media and creating the perfect image on Instagram to get girls. I was more of the mentality that you should just be a bit more real.

Still, I hadn’t realized just how fake he was yet- he reported that his company had received millions in funding (I think this might actually be true), or that they needed a million, or something like this, and I was happy he was successful.

Me, another “successful” friend, and him all sat down and eat dinner together one evening and I proclaimed that we would see each other next year even more successful.

Note: that other “successful” friend could be slightly more successful, but it seems he also is more of an Instagram appearance success than anything else.

Then I left and returned to Europe, thinking that I wouldn’t be back in America for another year or so- but then shit went south, I became a mess, and I ended up back in Phoenix maybe 4 months later.

And That’s When The Lies Were Revealed

Despite being such a mess after the break up with my ex, it seemed that the Universe still had some synchronicity waiting for me. My friend was expanding his company to provide software development services and other services to other companies.

He had such a huge network (he appeared successful) that he could close deals and then a highly skilled team of software developers or marketers like me could service the clients. It seemed like a win-win- he gets the deals, I work the clients, we all get paid.

There were some instant red flags when we got things going. It became apparent quickly that all was not well in this company. The first was that they were actually doing this new venture because of the fact that their current venture wasn’t profitable yet.

Their current venture is a health product which definitely has the capacity to be profitable, but they blew so many funds from stupid moves and still had hurdles to overcome. They now had to leverage their teams to service other clients to get funds to fund their primary business!

When I sent my second invoice, it wasn’t paid… until a week later. I became frustrated. The pay wasn’t so good as it was. I quickly realized I was the only person being paid because I was the only one with boundaries- many other people were ASU interns working for free, or simply not paid.

My friend confided in me that he had moved apartments from his awesome party place to a less-flashy location because he had troubles with money. He also started another small service-based business (which isn’t that valuable) because he didn’t have money!

Suddenly it made sense why my friend never wanted to go out or eat somewhere or do anything- he had no money! But, I thought he was the CEO of a successful company?

The company was an extreme mess, hiring free labor (“interns” are legal slaves), not paying me on time, and the other founder of the company was pouring his parent’s money into the business and hadn’t make any money back.

They had investors, but the investors were investing in the long-term potential payout… no one seemed to be happy though because no profit was being turned now.

In short, this business was a fucking disaster. They had no money. Yet… They were everywhere reported as “successful.”

And Then, It Got Worse

My friend hooked up with an intern. Because that always goes somewhere good, right?

The intern later claimed to the company that she was sexually assaulted, AKA raped. She was considering pressing both civil and legal charges. She is a lawyer, too…

When the situation was investigated, it became apparent that her claims were 99% lies. The other co-founder secretly recorded every conversation with her and there were holes in her story (she told a different victim story every time).

There were multiple text records, audio records, etc. which made it highly unlikely it was sexual assault. The more likely story was that my “friend” and her had a thing, and then he cut it off realizing it was wrong and then she flipped out and pulled the rape card.

When her background was investigated, it became apparent that she regularly did this to companies. She had a pattern of “getting raped” at the various companies she worked for.

Note: this intel was relayed to me by the other co-founder, so who knows, maybe she was raped, but based on my personal interaction, etc. my first guess would be that she wasn’t raped.

As soon as this happened my “friend” disappeared from the company. At the same time as this happened, I stopped working for the company because I was tired of this invoice not being paid bullshit- all work was halted until my invoice was paid, and all future invoices paid 100% in advance.

So basically all the clients got confused and left in a rage and wanted their money back… money which had disappeared…

My “friend” ghosted the company, terrified… but why? The evidence highly suggested that she was not raped at all. Based on my personal interaction with the chick, she seemed bat-shit crazy and her story made no sense. I had a friend who coincidentally hiked in a group with her and secretly recorded an audio conversation with her which also revealed her to be batshit crazy (to warn me about this company, lol) .

This chick was scaring all the interns off, and people like me that were already frustrated with the company. I prepared my resignation letter, ready to disappear- but I put on a face of staying just so that my invoice could be paid, then I’d disappear!

My “friend” NEEDED to be present at the company to fix this shit. The clients were confused. The interns were disappearing. His friend/co-founder was confused.

The evidence suggested he was innocent. Why was he disappearing and not able to stand up against the charges?

I hate to say this, but even if he did rape her… *whipser* he could get away with it because of the overwhelming evidence against her.

Whatever, I didn’t care. Fuck this company, fuck this situation, fuck everything- I collected my money and headed out!

A couple months later now, I find out that my “friend” is in a country on the other side of the world, which makes no sense given his visa situation. Note: this could be false intel, but is most likely true.

Why in the hell is he on the other side of the world? I get that receiving a false rape allegation is bloody terrifying, but running away from it makes you look guilty!

I must say that I do think he’s likely innocent, knowing him, knowing this chick, and having seen the records. It’s abundantly clear they had a secret relationship which he then cut off and she responded by going batshit crazy.

But is there more to the story? I don’t know, it’s about my paygrade. Maybe there’s even more to this rape story or more probably there’s more going on at the company that he fled from (ie. maybe he has a history of seducing interns, or something like this so despite it being consensual it’s still way fucking wrong).

And Then…

And then, after all this shit, I wake up and see a Goddamn post about my “friend” doing a Tedx talk. What in the fucking fuck?

And so many people were liking on it, commenting on it, so excited, so many likes, so many engagements- are people really so blind?

This is why I hardly use social media personally. So many people that build themselves up on social media are actually so full of shit. Not all people that build an image on social media are bad, but too many of the people I meet on social media that are “Insta-famous” are actually just shit in life.

My Friend vs. Me (and Others)

I don’t mean to brag, so sorry if this comes across like it, but let’s make a fair comparison.

My “friend” is on magazines, news, whatever, super popular and receiving business awards and has a lot of Instagram & Facebook followers. He has been selected to give a Tedx talk. He has been interviewed a lot to give business advice.

Yet his company has never turned a profit, he can barley afford rent, he’s hooking up with interns that claim he sexually assaulted him, and despite the overwhelming amount of evidence that supports his innocence he fled the country & ghosted his company which suggests he’s either a massive pussy (meaning he’s afraid his perfect social media image is ruined), or there’s something more going on at the company, or.. he actually did do that horrible thing.

And then there’s me (and countless others like me): I have like 100 Instagram followers, maybe 3 Facebook posts, and maybe 60 friends subscribed to my blog (but maybe only 10 people who actually read each post). My website gets maybe 5 views per day or something terrible like that.

I could be insta-famous or blow this blog up, but instead I choose to develop my character, and my real business, and live real life. My image is secret. No one knows my life, and you would never discover me on Google, Instagram, or Facebook.

Yet despite living in the shadows I’ve lived in multiple countries, traveled to 13+, eat out every day, and have been (for the most part, though I’d be lying if I said always) financially secure for the past 2 years.

Look Past The Image

People like my friend are exactly why success can be hard to attain- many of the truly successful live secretly in the shadows, actually enjoying their life.

For example in 2018 all I cared about was my ex-girlfriend. I wasn’t trying to post photos of her butt on Instagram to get likes n’ views. I’d rather just enjoy my time with her.

I have a group of absolutely amazing friends in Sofia, Bulgaria and several wonderful contacts all around the world (such as in Montreal, Phoenix, Belgium, London, and now places in Southeast Asia).

You would never guess by my Facebook images or profile that I’m living an epic life- and even as I write this, don’t assume that I am!

I try to be authentic, and if I’m being completely authentic I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, I’ve been sick the past week, and feeling generally agitated / mildly culture shocked. So even as I write “living an epic life,” I can guarantee that my past week has not been significantly more legendary than many other people’s especially due to my cold that I had.

Very few people are willing to be authentic though. I’d get more likes if I took a photo of a nice ass on the beaches of Bali, or took a selfie on a surf board, or maybe took a selfie with some of the monkey’s in Ubud.

The fact is me admitting that I’ve been sick a week, or that I cussed out the Ocean when I struggled surfing, or that Bali traffic is something hella annoying, simply doesn’t get likes or engagement- but it’s the truth.

People like my “friend” love the attention. He’s probably a narcissist (or worse, considering that the rape charges may be legit).

Note: if I didn’t include “friend” or every time I said my “friend” please include it mentally because obviously he’s not a good friend anymore or even really an acquaintance.

SO MANY people are posting these fucking picture-perfect photos on Instagram, it just makes me sick. Even on my flight to Bali I met a guy and girl who both had picture-perfect photos, but the girl was just a straight-up bitch; they were all talk, no substance.

You’re a million times more likely to find these people on Instagram than me or someone truly successful because the truly successful don’t have time to perfect a stupid social media image.

They’re out making millions, enjoying an amazing girlfriend, spending time with family and friends, and enjoying the finer things in life… and they feel no need to whip out the phone to go get 1,000 likes from strangers that mean nothing to them.

It’s all too easy to get hooked on Instagram because it’s what we think we want- but it’s not.

The people you look up to are creating an image. It’s OK to get inspired by it- for example, I was often inspired by photos & videos of Bali or Bulgaria or whatever. But don’t get attached to the people that are sharing these stories.

Don’t even get attached to me! I am a guy writing a blog, you might think I’m successful but I guarantee you there are countless people way more successful than I am that have 0 social media presence and 0 blog and just have like a family of 5 and then 2 close friends.

The truth is always deeper than the image. So many people appear to be successful, but they actually are fleeing their company, a country, they have sexual assault charges, and their company has never been profitable but instead countless dollars in the hole… and they can’t even hire employees or pay interns.

You might think this is a one-off case, but I assure you it isn’t. As I’ve grown in such LITTLE success, my bullshit-meter is super high. Your reality would fall apart if you knew just how many of those people you follow on Instagram are secretly miserable.

Verify Real Success

When taking advice from people… verify real success. You may just be taking advice from an ass-hat that enjoys jerking off their ego and that has no real success.

Also keep in mind that many of the truly successful people lie in the shadows. When you sit down in a restaurant or coffee shop, there might just be a millionaire or billionaire living the best life on Earth, but you’d never know because they’re dressed in plain clothing and focused on taking care of their kids just like everyone else.

Appearances are just that- appearances. It’s hard, but don’t get sucked into them, because the truth behind these people is not what it appears to be.

Done.

-Michael

Leveling up in Life

I think I’ve realized recently what it really means to “level up” in life:

It means that you’re comfortable being independent, making decisions on your own, and asserting what you want completely.

It also means that you stop caring about what others think, and look at it instead as simply feedback- though often a reflection of who that person is rather than who you are.

Go to the end of this post to see my final thoughts, if you just want the quick bullet points.

For example, Donald Trump. Hate him, love him, shut up. Look at him objectively: he takes so much criticism yet gives 0 fucks… why else is he the president?

You can hate him all you want but who else has the balls to act as he did so confidently, and to assert what he wanted despite all the resistance?

Trump was determined to become the president, period. He didn’t care about the resistance or competition or anything. He stayed focused and got it.

Does it really matter that half of America and all of the world hates him? No. He’s president, Hillary isn’t, and neither are you.

Let’s switch gears out of politics.

A better example would be “that guy” at the bar who goes to pick up chicks, and everyone is like “wow look at this thirsty dude he’s learning pick up girls stuff” or whatever… but who goes home that night with the hot girl?

I experienced similar in my own life when I wanted to get girls, and also when I wanted to start my online business. You can’t follow the masses and be independent & free.

Recently I published a post called blinding pain & forgotten pleasure, about how the break up with my ex really fucked me up.

Some of you responded with such kind words & awesomeness, I really appreciate it. I also had a conversation opened with a friend where I was talking about a stressful situation in my life currently- some changes that are happening to travel plans and timing between various things.

It was through that conversation that I really got some clarity on what it means to live your life authentically.

One huge thing I’ve learned recently is letting go of validation COMPLETELY. For example, it’s a lot easier to pick up girls at the bar when you’re surrounded with all of your friends to laugh with.

Going out alone is a whole ‘nother story. Almost all of my friends I made in Bali all had to leave at kind of a similar time, which was frustrating to me.

I wanted to party last night but didn’t go because I didn’t want to be alone… but then I realized just how silly that was.

First, I am not attached completely to Bali. Worst case scenario (which is unrealistic) is that they put my face on a poster all over Bali to laugh at me, in which case I buy a flight out and BOOM my reputation is reset.

Second, only good things can come. So what if a couple groups or chicks rejects me (or you).

Does every rejection really matter when you get what you want?

When I was with my ex, I really didn’t care about all of the other girls who rejected me or that I rejected. None of the prior incompatibilities mattered because I was celebrating the fruits of my labor- which was going to the mall to meet girls.

So I’ve observed in myself how I have been resistant to doing some things alone, namely picking up girls. I may also have some baggage in that topic of it being “bad” or something like that, and one person I was talking to made me realize just how everyone was kind of shaming each other for the other’s primal desires.

I realized in contemplation, and in receiving bad advice, that it doesn’t fucking matter what anyone thinks. Part of leveling up in life is becoming more certain of your own choices, and not needing validation of others.

It’s also walking your own path and not compromising for others unless that’s a really authentic thing to do.

On the OCEAN personality test (Google big 5 by Jordan Peterson) I rank very high on agreeableness, which is why I’ve never got a ticket from a cop- I’m just too nice.

But on the other hand, I’ve been maybe too agreeable in my life. I’ve given to people who haven’t given back. I gave so much to my ex just to have a huge boundary crossed in Cyprus, that now I’m realizing I simply can’t agree with anyone anymore unless it fits my own agenda.

Now I feel like in a way I’m “becoming one,” or in another way of explaining it taking care of some little kid inside of me.

Back to the agreeable thing- me and a girl planned to meet in Thailand and adventure in Southeast Asia together. Suddenly she had a thing come up, and she wouldn’t be able to meet me until a month and a half later.

This created quite the trouble for me because it messed up the whole travel plan which I had going for me. I immediately thought of a couple different choices, and neither were entirely satisfactory.

As I voiced my messages to an acquaintance (the one who gave bad advice, funny enough) I realized something: why was I even worried about adjusting my plans for anyone?

I’m single now, and even though I connected very deeply with this girl, we aren’t together and there’s no promise of anything.

I realized I have to be disagreeable now. I’m just going to do what I want, and she can fit into my life’s plan or she doesn’t have to come at all. It doesn’t matter to me, as long as I’m living true to myself.

Is that careless? A voice in my head tells me partly so, but as I strip away the layers of ego and “useless thinking” (let’s be real, 99% of thoughts are repeat gibberish) I realize that maybe what I thought to be “selfish & careless” was actually just self-care.

Some people in the world aren’t sensitive enough, others are too sensitive. I’m probably too sensitive, and need to become more disagreeable. So that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.

And with my ex, a part of me for so long deep down had always hoped that we would get back together, somehow. I gave so much, even after the break up, to show I was sorry for my own mistakes and that I was willing to improve. This was unconscious, too (the hoping of getting back together) even as I put on the facade of trying to move on.

But what has came of that? A huge boundary of mine was still crossed which potentially no one could come back from. I forgive, but that doesn’t mean I would allow myself to be put into another situation like that.

Now I am doing my best to kill that side of me clinging onto what was.

I feel some resistance towards meeting girls again. I notice in myself how when I know in my head that I should make a move, my body just doesn’t do anything. It still feels like cheating, or like I’m “tainting myself” for when I go back to her- but it’s DONE!

Even now as I write this, I slow down, the pain comes up, and I go, “damn.” But no more. I refuse to be hindered by such resistance. I AM moving on. I AM living an awesome life.

So I’m going to have an awesome rest of my time here in Bali, and I’m learning how to relax and be more comfortable in my own skin. I’m more okay with my own decisions and needing less validation from others.

I am really believing (at least for me at this point in my life) that so much of success & fulfillment from life comes from your ability to take criticism & face fear ALONE.

Anyone can pick up a girl with 3 buddies cheering you on. Anyone can start a business when you’re born into a family of businessmen.

But who can show up to a foreign country all alone and go meet girls to hook up with?

For the record, that’s my goal now too. Just to meet awesome chicks to hook up with. Not in a degrading sense (ie. fuck this bitch), but just in the sense that there’s very little attachment (connect with an awesome girl I can appreciate, date, etc. but not have the “weight” of a relationship). We can be together while we’re together, but I want to go back to Bulgaria soon so I’m gonna do that.

No compromises for anyone. Maybe this is a bit of an extreme, but after being in a very long relationship and compromising so much, enjoying the freedom of independence is exactly what I need to do.

I NEED to move on from my ex, and the whole prospect of hooking up & adventuring sounds exciting, so I think I’m just gonna do that, and in doing so kill that side of me that thinks there’s any chance of getting with my ex.

And there’s no one to do that with, so I’m just going to do it alone. Every day I’m feeling a bit more comfortable in my own skin, and I think the beauty of this break up, which has been so long and tough, is that I’m “falling in love” with myself… not in a narcissistic way but in the sense that I’m just being independent and doing what I want.

The rough plan now is to stay in Bali another week (or two), then go to Thailand, probably Chiang Mai because it’s awesome (last time I couldn’t appreciate it being heartbroken, having a surgery, being isolated, and crashing a scooter) and hook up and explore the area.

I have a list of goals to accomplish in Asia, some here in Bali, and some can be done in Thailand.

In a month or two, probably sometime in late June, I’ll go back to Bulgaria and stay for 2-3 months.

The friend who gave bad advice told me not to go to Thailand and hook up with girls because I’d “get too used to lots of girls loving me” and therefore not be able to pick up girls anywhere else.

It sounds silly, but any white guy (or English-speaking American) knows that Southeast Asia is a “man’s market.” I never thought there was such a thing as “dating culture” or a “dating market” too, but there is!

Some have tried to make me feel it’s a hollow desire, but then I thought about it: is it really? Or is everyone just running around making everyone else feel the same way, when everyone deep down just wants lots of girls/boys/whatever too?

And of course some people want a girlfriend/boyfriend, but that’s just as “shallow” (if it is) as wanting a hook up because the presupposition is that the boy/girl will fulfill things for you that you can’t on your own (whether it be sex, emotional needs, etc.).

Enough on that topic. I’ll probably go back to Bulgaria sometime in June or July, and I told a girl I’d meet her in Bangkok but that’ll have to wait. The plans changed from her, and so now they change from me.

You know, I just realized something too: so much of the important stuff in life is repressed or unspoken.

Let’s be real, you want a girlfriend/boyfriend, awesome sex, great emotional attachment, lots of money, fame, etc. yet for some reason society says that’s so “dark.”

In America particularly we are so sexually repressed, I’ve only met a few people who I can really talk openly with about sex. I can’t comment on Bulgaria or anywhere else in Europe, but based on general observation it seems that Europe is generally more open (albeit repressed in other ways).

Going for what you want in life is not dark or evil, as long as it is done ethically.

Some people will criticize you, but as long as what you’re doing doesn’t hurt anyone else (ie. in the case of hook-ups you should never promise something which you can’t fulfill) then you’re good. Haters gonna hate.

I made a note about this the other day: “I think success is just when you fail so many times or receive so much criticism that it no longer bothers you, and so you can carry on doing the things that’ll make you successful to actually be successful.”

Only now do am I internalizing this.

I want girls, parties, and epic social life? Gotta do it alone, all my acquaintances here left and the one remaining friend had business problems so now he can’t hangout at all anymore.

Want money? Gotta do it alone.

Of course, it always helps to have friends or people to do it with, but ideally you should be at the point where you don’t need that.

Dependence is needing people, independence is not needing people, and we need to be interdependent. Basically this means be independent, as you also fulfill your needs with other people (ie. you need a client to make $, you need a partner to have sex, so on, and you shouldn’t NEED validation or need them).

Final Thoughts

To be successful you need to be able to go at it alone. While other people do help, they can also pull you downward. For example, if you want to meet dating partners, you should be able to go at it alone. In my case I should approach girls alone and not rely on the “group energy” to give me any confidence.

Just yesterday I did my first solo-approach on the beach while working out… it was scary but exhilarating.

In doing this, you reconnect with yourself more and more and become more comfortable in your own skin. Group confidence is fake- everyone has it. Think of riots for example. True confidence is standing alone.

You should also just follow your own desires. Want hook-ups? Go for it. Want money? Start a business. Stop worrying about judgement and validation from others. Most of it is stupid anyways.

In my case I was frustrated at the dating life here in Bali, and considering switching back to Thailand because Thailand is a “better dating market” for people like me. So I’m gonna fulfill my Bali goals so I have the proper experience here, go out and meet girls, and then if I’m not satisfied I’ll head over Thailand to achieve my dating goals.

Some people have tried to make me feel it’s “wrong” to want to go to a place or do a thing like hook-ups, but upon reflection I realized that’s just their problem & repression, not mine. It’s totally okay to go for what you want, no matter how freaky it is. Or in your case it could be more simple like starting a certain job, or studying a particular thing others disagree with.

You have to be disagreeable in life, especially if you’re agreeable like me. While compromises are sometimes necessary, sometimes you need to say “fuck it” and walk your own path.

My example is an American girl & I were going to travel together, but the dates got changed by her and this messed up my plans. Now I’m deciding rather than accommodating her schedule, I’m just gonna do what I want to do- she can fit into it or not come. I’m okay either way.

By following your own path you’re truly connecting with yourself. We all have desires & wishes. In my case I don’t want to go to Bulgaria in Winter, I’d rather go in late Summer or early Fall (which I wouldn’t be able to do if I met the girl). I also don’t want to go for a short time in the summer, I want to stay at least 2 months.

Being disagreeable is hard but feels very energizing because you’re claiming what you want. Seriously, don’t live your life on anyone else’s terms! Note: there are nuances to this, and if you are a particularly disagreeable person you may have to be more flexible. I’m too agreeable, so this advice pertains to me. There is a spectrum!

Face fear & criticism alone, realize it is pointless. There won’t always be people to back you up.

Example: yesterday I wanted to party but no one could come. I distracted myself then passed out instead. Next time I will show up alone, make friends alone, and meet girls alone.

I was afraid of being judged/criticized/afraid (why? I don’t know) which doesn’t logically make sense, but being real we all feel the same.

To truly connect with yourself, it’s necessary that you follow your desires no matter what. Next time (probably tonight) I will just party alone, meet girls alone, or whatever.

All in all, reconnecting with yourself is so important especially after a break up. I’m too used to “us,” so much so that when I met someone I connected with I instantly tried to reschedule travel plans without consulting my own inner knowing what I wanted.

This includes friends too!! Example: in Phoenix only trying to meet girls when with the support of friends, instead of doing it alone.

Ultimately this is YOUR LIFE, so fucking live it! Travel alone. Meet boys/girls/whatever alone. Party alone. Of course, meet people & socialize, but the ultimate point is…

Don’t wait for other’s permission, time, availability, or be dependent in ANY way on other people in order to get what you want. Just follow your own desires, don’t worry about other’s judgement, take care of yourself, and LIVE AN AWESOME LIFE!!!