It’s been almost 4 weeks since returning to Sofia, and it’s been filled with ups & downs.
Overall, things are good. I’m calling it “A New Sofia” because it really is unlike what it was before, in a good way.
Let’s dive in and see why that is. We’re also going to cover several interesting life topics, such as vibrations, energy, and self-improvement, so this is gonna be a long, packed post.
A New Sofia
Many things are completely different to how they were before. A lot of construction that had previously been taking place is now complete, which opened up some absolutely beautiful areas.
New shops have sprung up, and others have closed down. I’m happy for this.
Me and some friends went to get some “doners” (type of Turkish wrap sandwich, very popular in this area of the world) at a place which used to have what we believed some of the best in Sofia.
It was awful. Another place was closed. Things have changed surprisingly a lot.
Luckily we found a Gyros shop (which is similar to doners) which was even better, and I’m really glad for that. The doner shop and other shop which closed were associated with my ex, but these new places get to be a part of the “New Sofia.”
Some friends have drifted off, mainly in the sense that I feel I’ve grown up too much from them.
Others I’ve become even closer with, as it always is. I’ve made new friends already too. It’s always weird seeing these changes when returning to a city in which I had a previously large social circle.
I used to always go to this one cafe to do my work, and I initially did at first, but resentfully. It is about a 20 minute walk through several paths that require up/down stairs, which isn’t so fun when carrying a laptop & bag.
It didn’t even feel that good being there. Though it was nice seeing some of the old staff.
I found a new cafe to work remotely from, and so far I’m enjoying it a lot more than that other place. The seats are more comfy, the coffee tastier, and funny enough I’ve already made friends with some of the other regular faces I see in here.
The cafe/coffee scene is definitely subpar compared to Thailand, but I did find a couple places with high-quality coffee. Only one place truly stands out, with a taste as good as the high-quality Thai & American coffee I would drink.
On the other hand I’m really enjoying the parks & nature. Being able to go for a jog outside and around the city anywhere is amazing. In Thailand you’d eat up all that delicious pollution and potentially get hit by a vehicle!
I recently made a conscious decision to break my habits and routines. No similar restaurants, cafes, bars. I wanted to do new places that didn’t have memories with my ex.
It’s been really incredible. I’ve discovered some awesome restaurants with fascinating food.
Surprisingly I also found a place which serves Vietnamese food with Pho almost as good as the Pho in Vietnam. I’ll probably eat that again tonight.
Pushes in Business
Business has been the biggest focus since coming here and I’ve made significant progress. It’s a frustrating, iterative process testing different messages, ads, this, that, etc. until you get it right.
Of course when I finally do get it right things will just blow up such so that my problem becomes too many clients, not too little.
This is my biggest priority, and I haven’t been too concerned about dating. It’s great that I have many great friends here as well so I don’t have to worry about that area. I can just work and then hangout in the evening.
Coffee Addiction?
On Tuesday & Thursday I did no-caffeine days, and I am beginning to think there’s a chance I’m addicted to what little caffeine I do drink (100ML per day, about one cup, not often but sometimes 200ML or 2 cups).
Either that or my sleep hasn’t been good recently. I’m willing to bet it’s a combination of both.
Instead of quitting caffeine, I’ve decided to manage the potential addiction (which is NOT confirmed anyways).
You can only fight so many battles at once. Right now I’m focused on business, and not gonna lie but a nice cup of coffee helps quite the bit when it comes to the menial, repetitive, fucking annoying tasks that are 100% necessary in order to succeed.
My new routine I’ve designed is to wake up, meditate, drink coffee, get to work, and then after the first portion (or all) of my work I will eat, then workout, finish work if I have it, then hangout and do whatever.
The key thing is that I workout before the final caffeine crash, and the workout high will remove any potential withdrawal symptoms and keep me focused for the remainder of the day.
Again I’m not sure whether it’s coffee or poor sleep- so I’m also putting in an effort to fix my sleep, which is a bit difficult considering the whole “no AC in Europe despite it being a really hot summer” thing.
Habit-Building
I do not eat until I finish the important, sales portion of my work. It seems to be an exceptional habit-building tool to force yourself to do the most daunting (or in my case occasionally repetitive and fucking annoying) tasks first thing in the day.
It quickly builds a habit: you get hungry, and the only way you’re allowed to eat is if you do the hardest thing in the day. My brain is already starting to love sales.
I don’t think I’d be loving sales so much unless it were for this habit-building trick. I’ve caught my brain saying things like “this is so much fun” when 4 weeks ago I would’ve vomited and what I currently find “fun.”
It does the trick though! I earn my food. I’m even occasionally repeating this in other parts of my day via habit.
For example while hanging out with a friend we’ve suddenly decided that before we eat dinner we have to approach pretty girls and talk to them. It’s almost a daily ritual now!
Focus & Calmness
I’m putting more effort into created a focused, calm life. Not so much social media, distractions, stimulations, etc.
Things like video games & reddit do not fulfill me anymore. I can literally feel how they pollute my brain, it’s really strange.
Instead, I often feel more fulfilled sipping coffee and getting some work done than I do relaxing playing a video game. I guess it’s not really relaxing to play a video game anyways.
A Personal Transformation
I’m starting to see why entrepreneurs that become successful often want to do nothing but work:
It’s so fucking fulfilling.
The days where I send out dozens of sales proposals, produce a new sales video, write new sales copy, and run around Sofia all while sipping coffee and making clear, legitimate progress on my goals are epic.
Then it feels often dull and boring when I decide it’s time for “pleasure and relaxation.”
My definition of pleasure & relaxation is changing from social media, video games, YouTube, and drinking to just relaxing with no notifications at a restaurant or having a good conversation with friends. Even a legit nap is better.
I often wanted to create wealth so that I could be free, yet the funny thing is I may end up choosing just to work anyways.
Already on the weekends I get agitated by the fact that I’m “not supposed” to work. A part of me really believes I should take the days off and relax, but the other just wants to keep making progress in some way.
It’s not coming from a desperate, needy frame, but from the type of frame like “dude it feels good let’s just sip coffee and work!”
I’m currently trying to find a balance in all of this. Being self-employed can be… confusing.
Anyways, I’m trying to consume less, talk less, and just do more. I want to be more successful than people think, and I think that for the past couple years everyone has thought I’m more successful than I legitimately am.
It sickens me to think that I was just full of hype like everyone else. Now I don’t want to talk about business, please no. I just want to do things.
Self-Employed Difficulties
Do I create a schedule? If I do, what if I finish work early or have more work? How do I plan my days? When should I take a day off, or a vacation?
These things really confuse me. I find myself searching for answers in Google, yet Google caters to the masses- it’s extremely difficult to find proper blogs that are not hyped up bullshit about being self-employed.
Most blogs that I do know of are hyped-up BS that ignores the true difficulties of the unique situation that the niche is in.
That’s because the truth is these blogs are not for people in that niche, but for people wanting to be in that niche.
Example: “digital nomad.” These are people that work remotely from anywhere and can travel.
That is technically me for past couple years. I find though that these blogs do not talk about the legitimate difficulties of being a digital nomad, and instead focus on all the hype.
This is because digital nomad blogs are not for digital nomads. Digital nomad blogs are for people that want to become one, or fantasize about it. Same for entrepreneurial blogs.
The truth is there are many downsides to being an entrepreneur or digital nomad. For me they are better than the alternative, but nonetheless they are problems that must be mitigated in order to maintain your sanity.
In short, I’m finding that I’m forced to find my own solutions to my problems- I am unable to find answers so easily on Google, and even many of my friends could not give the proper advice.
Often my friends give great advice, but some things are very contextual and require direct experience in order to truly understand.
Gratitude for Pains of the Past
You know what I’ve been thinking about recently? Thank GOD I was bullied so badly in school.
Okay, maybe if I could’ve changed the past, I would’ve wished myself a better childhood. I didn’t enjoy feeling like an outsider, a weirdo, an outcast. I would’ve liked to get laid, too.
But what I’ve realized is that it’s quite probable I may have never discovered entrepreneurship if I felt more like I belonged in my school, city, and social circle.
In a strange fashion I find myself grateful for many of the pains I had in my past because it’s forced me to become who I am today.
Today I often feel jaded- but in a good way. This means that little things don’t bother you. Sometimes my energy stoops into petty levels, but often I find myself super chilled out.
Sometimes someone will say something and I’ll look at them with an icy, blank stare and they suddenly put all their cards on the table. Friends that knew me in the beginning of Sofia (November 2017) report that I certainly have matured a ton- the vibe is different, more grounded.
I know now that I can overcome anything that is thrown my way. It’s a matter of when not if.
And as for things such as the isolation I felt in my teenage years, it is likely that which drew me to entrepreneurship and digital nomadism.
If I had “belonged” to a group, then perhaps I would’ve gone to University like everyone else and never even considered the possibility of an alternative. I would’ve succumbed to group-think, perhaps.
My own trials of the past led to me thinking independently and analyzing my options from an objective perspective. This helped me realize that entrepreneurship was much safer than having a “secure job,” and that the pay-outs would be a lot better.
I’ve just observed in myself a certain icy groundedness that I never could’ve imagined I’d actually get so fast.
Perhaps almost a year of daily meditation is to thank for this. There is usually a peaceful place inside I can always ground into.
I don’t remember when exactly I began (perhaps it’s even been more than a year), but for a very long time now I’ve meditated 10+ minutes every morning. Sometimes 15, sometimes 20, but 10 at the bare minimum.
The effects are compounding. It’s a solidified habit, and I’d feel disgusted if I didn’t meditate in the morning. I can go without eating- not without my morning meditation.
While I don’t want to die now, I even find myself now more comfortable at the thought of my eventual demise. It’s just another experience. Times have changed…
Letting Go of Fears & Emotionalness
In the big push to finally do what I’ve always wanted to do in business, I find myself confronting many fears and emotions and doubts.
When my online ads didn’t perform so well, I became emotional and worried. But I’ve learned to calm and ground myself, and see things objectively. Then I fixed it and it was all good.
Same for my new form of sales I’m currently doing. At first I wasn’t within KPI (key performance indicator). I became emotional and worried.
But then I was like “bro, you’ve done this for 5 fucking days, and this is version 1.”
I’ve realized now that the reason so many people do not achieve their dreams is simply because they lose sight of the iterative, scientific process that is required in life in order to succeed.
Whether you’re picking up girls, optimizing your health, or growing a business you need to be scientific and iterative in your methodology.
This means that you test, measure, collect feedback, and then re-test. It’s so crazy how we are not taught this in school, and even crazier how easy it is to forget this.
Today I think I’ll even print this out as a reminder to read & see every single day.
When something doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean that you are the problem but instead that the action does not produce a result.
My favorite book is “The Science of Getting Rich,” for no other reason than the title (but it’s totally worth a read, I’ve read it over and over).
Just like Chemistry, if you combine two elements there should always be an exact result. Is the true not same of life?
There are many variables, but there IS a scientific way to succeed. But it’s easy to forget that.
For me my “Beta 0 and Beta 1” sales letter performed very poorly. I created a “Updated V1” than has performed a bit better. Yesterday I initiated tests with “V2.”
It’s so ridiculous to think that I become so frustrated and emotional after just a few days of my sales strategy, when I hadn’t even tested multiple variations in the advertisement’s messaging!
That’s how emotions work though.
Now I’m not saying you should deny your emotions or self-attack. It’s important to feel them, express your anger in working out, and cry when you feel sad.
Just you can’t let it mess with reason. I recently went through an incredible course about business, and one of my favorite quotes is:
“Regulate yourself with data, not with emotions.”
Things almost never work the first time. It’s the 8th iteration of testing that makes you profit.
I keep reminding myself of this, and already it’s paying out. My V1 tests performed better than B0 & B1. I hypothesize V2 will perform significantly better, but I have to put it to the test before confirming anything.
In short, I’m not being so emotional. Instead when I get emotional I review the data, and this reminds me to not be so emotional.
Business is really like Chemistry. If you want an explosion, you will have to test several combinations of chemicals. The vast majority will not create the desired result.
When you finally get the desired chemical combination for the desired result, well then you know what works, and so you can create as many explosions as you want.
The metaphor of course being that when I finally master client attraction, it will suddenly be a problem of having too many clients because I’ll be able to create that desired result over and over.
Fluctuations in Vibration & Consciousness
Recently I’ve really taken a liking to the book I read earlier this year “Power vs. Force.”
In it is a map of consciousness. I find it to be highly accurate, and it’s fascinating seeing the dynamics play out in areas of my own life.
Here it is:
I believe that we have a “baseline level of consciousness” and then multiple layers without yourself.
For example your average may be an energetic calibration of 205. But over the weeks on some days you may calibrate at 125, and on other days 350, totalling an average of 205.
Anything under 200 is considered unproductive and unhealthy. You will not typically get positive results in life under 200.
It’s really fascinating. On some days in the past month I’ve derped on Reddit and gotten triggered by posts. Typically something on the relationships subreddit or “Am I The Asshole” subreddit. Just silly drama stuff, you know?
On those days I notice my vibe dipping into fear, desire, pride, and anger. During this temporary dip my muscles tighten, and things seem to become more difficult. My own energetic level becomes lower, I feel less inclined to clean and work, etc.
On other days where I’m identified with “higher level attractor patterns” as the author writes, such as Courage, Willingness, and Acceptance, I find myself filled with vitality, passion, gratitude, and a good energy.
Things come easier. I get results. I can focus longer. People smile at me.
When I first returned to Sofia, my vibe dropped substantially. I likely calibrated somewhere between grief and anger. This could be due in part to pain about my ex still, but there were likely other things I had to take responsibility for. For example, massive sleep deprivation & jet lag.
During the first two weeks, things seemed to be quite fucked up! My laptop stopped working effectively (though there were hints of this in Thailand), I dropped my phone and it shattered, I had an enraging encounter with a jerk, and other things.
Now most people would consider it “bad luck.” I don’t believe that.
I believe that I attracted shitty life circumstances because my vibe dropped.
For example, once I was crossing the street and a car decided to jump on the accelerator to intimidate me. I was already in an angry vibe, flipped him off and spit at him. I walked away, and he got out of his car. When I realized he was about to yell at me, I stormed back as he got back in his car and spit at him again for good measure. Then I left as he got out again.
Most people would say “wow he’s such an asshole, bla bla bla.” And probably justify my anger.
But I know that that’s not the case. The fact is this old man was in an angry vibe, I was in an angry vibe, and we came together and found a way to manifest our anger collectively.
When you’re in a certain vibe, you attract situations that justify that vibe and also focus on things that reinforce that vibe.
Perhaps from his perspective he was already turning and I was an asshole for running across the street. From my perspective I had the right of way and he was an asshole.
But you know what? I was in an angry mood. For all I know now, I may have unconsciously purposefully put myself in a situation that would trigger someone to treat me poorly so that I could unleash my own anger upon them.
Yeah, I know this might sound a bit “out there,” but upon reflection the only times I have ever experienced such things is when I was already in an angry vibe and looking to take it out on someone.
I once had a very similar situation happened a year and a half ago, same thing. Guy decides to jump the accelerator to intimidate me. But again, I was already in an angry vibe. Coincidence?
I also don’t believe it to be a coincidence that my laptop hard drive started to fail (it still works but the WiFi on my laptop is broken- and the hard drive will fail any day now). It also wasn’t a coincidence that I “accidentally” dropped my phone and shattered it. Nope.
Subconsciously these situations were created in order to perpetuate my grief, fear, anger, and desire- all energetic patterns that I was likely calibrated in during that time.
These “negative” things allowed me to be upset and despair (grief), made me fearful of the future because “what if my laptop fails and I run out of $ buying a new expensive one” (fear, and I need a high-powered laptop for video production for client), anger (why is this happening to me), and desire (I want a new laptop, phone, etc. but “can’t”).
But all these vibes I was in BEFORE these “negative” things happened! They were created by me or attracted to me to perpetuate my reality!
Another thing that happened is I rushed purchasing a new laptop. I ended up not researching laptop specs, and purchased a VERY slow laptop.
Now that I’m clear-headed, I am like, “oh shit,” because if I had just spent $500 more I could’ve got an exceptional laptop… and I’ll have to buy a better laptop anyways, so I’m kind of “out” on the money I spent for this temporary, low-quality laptop.
Increasing the Vibe
To increase my vibe I’ve meditated, visualized Buddha/Jesus or “the source of the Universe,” and actively taken responsibility and action for fixing the situation.
And strangely things started falling back into place. For example, a woman randomly messaged me on Instagram. She saw a comment I had made on an advertisement for that amazing course I bought.
She wanted to buy it, and I told her I had a referral link that would save her $500. It would also pay me $500, which would cover the laptop cost. She hasn’t been able to purchase yet, but she might.
My sales work is looking up too. One prospect told me that they didn’t want to hire me, but she may offer me a one-time payment for some video production for an online course she’s creating.
My guess is that the amount she will offer will be enough to cover my “bad laptop,” and potentially a new phone also.
As I’ve consciously made an effort to identify with “courage, acceptance, and willingness” by taking responsibility for my situation and actively improving it, I’ve observed things falling into place and everything improving.
By actively reminding myself everything is gonna be alright, things are becoming alright. It’s cool how that works.
I’m not an expert on increasing your vibration. And whether or not you believe in the map of consciousness (ie. the energetic component of it), the fact is that it is a highly accurate map and your average level of calibration will determine the results in life that you get.
Energetic Map + Dating
One final thing about this, is that what is fascinating is observing how even dating plays a role on the energetic map and how it affects my whole life.
As mentioned earlier I’m not too concerned about dating. I’m focused about business. But I’m not gonna lie, I’d like to get laid. Or at least go on some dates.
I’ve observed and spoke to my best friend about this. What I’ve been experiencing is “desire” for this particular result.
When I would see a pretty girl, I’d often think “damn I’d like her to be my girlfriend.” It’s okay to have these thoughts, but occasionally they’d dip into “desire” which means that you wish that it was true when in fact it isn’t.
Here’s the interesting thing: I notice that when I approach a pretty girl and ask for her number, I immediately feel healthier, energized, and happier. Even if she flat out rejects me.
This has ALWAYS baffled me. And EVERYONE- all men I’ve met- have observed this phenomenon as well.
“Wow, getting rejected actually feels amazing,” is a common thing you hear among men that go and approach girls they are interested in!
What the fuck? Isn’t it supposed to hurt? And sting? No, it often doesn’t, instead it often feels amazing.
Now I understand. Here’s why:
When you just look at the pretty girl and fantasize, you are in the state of “desire.” You want it but don’t have it. You aren’t doing anything about it.
Now when you approach her, regardless of the result, you move into the state of “courage.”
Remember that courage calibrates at 200, and anything above 200 is considered a “powerful attractor pattern” that will fulfill you and energize you. Anything less than 200 (ie. desire) is not healthy.
So the simple act of approaching a girl and asking her out immediately moves your calibration into at least 200. In some cases, when you are feeling neutral or willing to do it, you move into the calibration of 250-300 which is significantly greater than desire, which calibrates at 125.
Suddenly when you do that approach and go for what you want, you move into a higher level of consciousness regardless if you get a good result or not!
This also explains why I’m enjoying business & sales so much too. Things like Reddit which have the potential to trigger me lower my vibration and thus calibrate below 200, but business and taking action calibrates above 200 which gives me more energy.
Even though I’m “not focused on dating,” I’m observing that still approaching pretty girls makes me feel fucking amazing regardless of the outcome. It energizes the fuck out of me!
When you actively embody beliefs & actions that calibrate above 200 (again see the map of consciousness above) your entire vibration increases. You can also consciously release things like anger, grief, and shame, which is like letting go of chains.
It’s so cool to realize, and this map of consciousness is becoming something I am starting to live by. It explains many of the strange phenomenon I’ve observed in life, such as how getting rejected by a girl can make you feel 10x better than not approaching her in the first place- you took action, you embodied courage (or perhaps even willingness).
To Immigrate, or Not To Immigrate
I could honestly see myself living in Sofia, Bulgaria- at least for a whole year. Nothing is confirmed yet, I make no promises.
While I did love Thailand, I reported before that one problem of Chiang Mai is that they have a “smoky season” in which pollution reaches extremely dangerous levels. I haven’t been there then, but people who have only have negative things to report.
I think that I will often visit Thailand as almost a “second home,” but it’s probably off the tables for a primary home. That could change, but I don’t see it being my home for now.
This means that it’s Sofia or Phoenix (or somewhere in the USA) as a primary home base.
I don’t want to think about this right now. For now I’m just enjoying Sofia, and I really could see myself living here now.
At the same time I find myself nostalgic of some of the memories in Phoenix. The desert mountains, parties, and fun was great there too.
I’d need to earn a lot more in order to live there, but with my business goals that should soon become feasible. I’d sure be curious to try it out.
For now, I’m not worried about it. I’m happy in Sofia. So I’ll stay as long as I can, and deal with the next problem only when it comes.
What’s Good With You?
So that’s what’s up with me. What’s good with you?
You can hit “reply” and let me know. (:
Thanks for reading!
-Michael
