The ego is never satisfied. Quickly it habituates to each new level achieved, and forgets the beauty of the present moment in favor of a better future.

It never ends. It doesn’t matter if you have the power to live anywhere in the world, or be financially free- It. Never. Ends.

Years ago when I first started working on my goals, I found myself compelled with intention and action.

When I wanted to meet girls, I went to malls to meet girls- alone. I worked passionately on my business and had a clear vision for what I wanted the future to look like.

At some point, I forgot this. And likely it is so that you have forgotten this as well.

The paradox of achievement is that with each new achievement you lose a bit of your purpose.

If it is your goal to become great with women, but then you get a girlfriend, then by gaining a girlfriend you lose out on the excitement of hitting the clubs with your friends in hunt of a pretty face.

Two steps forward, one step back. If you’re not careful, two or three steps back.

At some point in all of this, as I sit here in a cafe in Bulgaria drinking a cappuccino without checking the prices, and ordering completely in Bulgarian, I have forgotten to measure just how far I’ve gone and more importantly what I’d like to do next.

The ego is quick to point out all of the desires and things I have not, but what of the things I have done and have now?

Is it not wonderful that I can speak enough Bulgarian to order, and am I not blessed to live in a cheap country abroad?

At some point the passion turned to dullness. The joy of routine became the mundane of routine. Desire took over, pointing out “wants.” A gap between the next goal and this moment was created, and in this gap I lost all my happiness.

It is sometimes useful to reflect on the past realistically. 3 years ago I had chronic pains, wasn’t working out hard, was a virgin, never had a super deep relationship, had no independence, didn’t live alone, was struggling to make sales online, and lacked self-esteem. In some moments I was suicidal.

Now I’ve been to Bali, lived in Thailand and learned enough Thai to order my food in Thai, to avoid the “foreigner fees” because I spoke enough Thai, lived in Bulgaria, fell in love and lost (but it’s better than nothing), and so much more.

Somehow in the process of all of this though I lost a bit of myself. My conscientiousness. Only now am I reclaiming this.

The first time in Montreal I was careful with my cash, on some days fasting across unnecessary meals and then eating $1 mac n’ cheese so that I could save up.

Somehow in 2018 lifestyle creep started to eat me. I lost myself in the joys but gave up some of my conscientiousness.

In the end I was always improving, just in different metrics. The total sum is going up but in some ways I have lacked.

The biggest lack I see in myself and others is that we forget to embrace internal abundance & gratitude and we forget to stick to our roots.

It is through the law of attraction that greatness came to me, not through a needy craving for more wealth or more girls. I met my ex only after an intuitive sensation that I would spend more time in Sofia.

Today, and the more recent days, I have been trying to reconnect with some of these roots.

For example, “Reality Transurfing” and “The Science of Getting Rich” has been two of the most powerful books I ever read in my life on manifesting goals. I’ve been reconnecting with these mentalities and beliefs, and already “remembering” that I can choose to be happy- right now.

Instead of walking to my work this morning with a sense of needy desperation for new clients I embraced the beauty of Sofia, expressed gratitude for all the scenery and experiences, and played some positive scenes in my mind.

My thoughts sometimes can become so negative. Why? It is as if it is programmed by another person!

I chose instead to play some positive “slides” or visualizations in my mind, of people respecting me and girls checking me out. Instantly I felt better, a good energy uplifted me, and I caught the eye of the prettiest girl in the cafe.

I feel that success and growth changes you- in the end you are a net positive, but there is a core part of your past that can be too easily lost to the past.

I’m better, I won’t deny that. I would never, ever go back.

I’m just saying that even though I’m better, there are key things in my past that I have forgotten to take with me. There is now a “remembering” taking place.

The passionate fire of the past must be integrated into the maturity of the present moment.

When I was 18 I recall going to the party streets of Phoenix to meet girls and practice my social skills. In one instance, me and some friends were kissing girls on the street.

Even in Sofia, before my ex, I had done this on the main walking street in the evening! I had approached a girl with such charm we kissed then and there, and hung out later.

Now I am a better man, and girls can sense that, but in some way I’ve forgotten my passion to take action and face rejection! I do not go out to meet girls alone so often as I did in the past.

It scares me less, but it still scares me the most of all that I do.

And is the same for my wealth- my skills are better, but there are actions and habits I have forgotten from the past.

Now is better, but there are integrations to the past that must be done.

Ultimately too you must become grateful for THIS moment, present to THIS moment, and enjoy everything as it is. You have already come a long way- why not celebrate it while moving to the next?

The tricky mind forgets how far it has come, always searching for the next thing to get, go, or be, but do try to remember where you came from. You’ve almost certainly improved.

Regardless of whether you have or not, be grateful for what you do have. Embrace that internal abundance within you and share it with the world.

Approach each situation with the most positive mentality you can, for no other reason than it will give you the best possible outcome.

On one hand, life is a bit fucked up in a way- but what use is it to perpetuate these beliefs if all they do is shackle you to more pain?

You’ve already been born, you have no choice but to embrace it. To give into life fully. To live!

But let’s start simply. You may write down now- what are three things you are grateful for?

For me:

  • My remote work which allows me to live anywhere and travel
  • My amazing friends all around the world which have guided me, helped me, and celebrated with me
  • My mentors online that have inspired me with endless possibility
  • And a fourth, extra: the fact that I take care of myself via fitness for the past year despite having been in so many countries and time zones.

When you are grateful, play positive mental slides, think good thoughts, and embrace life with abundance only more greatness can come.

It starts however with that initial decision to be in a state of abundance, which really is a choice.

I would like to start giving more, not only just for that sake, but to create this sense of abundance for myself and to share it with others…