In my last article, I talked about something we all suffer from to a degree: Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS), or “The Mind-Body Syndrome.”
Your personality, ability to resolve trauma, amount of trauma experienced, and environment all influence the type of suffering you will get in life.
Some people get anxious. Others get headaches. Others “get sick.”
Stress & unresolved anger + fear all “live in the body.”
There is a positive to all of this pain.
Now, I’m not saying chase pain. It is significantly more advantageous to act from a place of peace & love.
It’s better to let things go, and act naturally from inspiration.
But, if you’ve gone through or are going through some shit, this article should motivate you a bit.
When you’ve had it rough, you have hidden strengths that will later allow you to achieve an elite level in life.
I’m 19, own a digital marketing business, and can travel the world, all while working 5-10 hours per week.
Many marvel at this accomplishment, but it was not always joy that inspired this feat.
The fact is, I suffered, but I channeled that suffering into a proper outlet.
Again, don’t chase pain. But, if you have it, minus well transmute it into something that will help you down the line.
Everything is Harder
If you’ve gone through some shitty things, life is just going to be harder.
That’s just a fact you’ve got to accept.
While normal people can do chores, wash themselves, go to work, and then hangout with an incredible group of friends, all with ease, people that are getting fucked up from life must first accept everything is going to be 20x harder than it should be.
Growing up I had “social anxiety.” I went to 4 different elementary schools, and was severely bullied in middle school.
Throughout high school, I never felt like I fit in. Socializing was just tough, I didn’t understand how to do it!
It’s been the same like that with a lot of things in my life.
Things have been tough, but now I’m rapidly rising to an elite level. Let’s take the example of social skills in my case.
Nothing To Lose
The benefit to “having it tough” is that you have nothing to lose.
When you have basically no friends or status to maintain, you lose nothing by experimenting- you can only gain.
You also quickly learn how to “not give a fuck what others think.”
Recently someone messaged me on Snapchat asking for advice. He was soo scared to admit to his parents & friends he was jobless.
He is scared to be authentic because he’s afraid of “rejection.”
Get rejected enough times, and you stop carrying about it. You realize how pointless it is to worry about something like that.
Because I had nothing to lose, rejection did not scare me. It still doesn’t (to a reasonable extent).
In the past 2 days I’ve met a Ukranian girl, 2 American girls, a Taiwan guy, and a Turkish guy, all just by being a bit conversational in my day-to-day life. I also got recognized by 6ish employees that were out and about.
Having been through hell, do you think I care what one silly person thinks of me?
What could it do for you if you could meet 2-3 new people every week?
Momentum: From Normal to Elite
Imagine if you had to carry a 10 lb weight on each hand, and each foot.
That’s 40 lbs of extra weight. Life would be tough.
You have a choice though: get better or get bitter.
You could choose to lay in bed all day, trapped by this new challenge, or you could push forward and let your body strengthen.
This is what life is like when you’re going through, or have gone through, some “real shit.”
For example, even if you were sexually assaulted, you may develop PTSD.
Life doesn’t get easier because the trauma ends. You have to actively resolve it!
In the meantime, life will have some extra weight added onto it.
If you can learn to function “normally” with your challenges, then you will likely reach an elite level in your life.
Despite “anxiety” growing up, I was determined to be at least normal.
Now, I’m far from normal. To others I am “elite.” However, it feels normal to me now.
Once you start pushing to go from bad to good, the momentum takes a life of its own, and you’ll probably keep going until you’re one of the best.
It’s like learning how to function normally with 40lbs extra. When the weights get taken off, life will feel so easy, so light, so free…
That is me. I learned how to meet people, be funny, social, etc. with social anxiety.
So then when it went away, a new world of freedom and opportunity opened up.
If you’re going through something tough, push! The benefit is that one day you can become an elite in whatever area you’re struggling in.
I get recognized very often in my day-to-day life, and have friends all around the world.
Every shop I go to knows me. Getting recognized by workers in every shop I go to is something I expect, not something that’s cool.
Life is awesome like that too! Instead of boring transactions, imagine telling jokes with acquaintances everywhere you go!
If you’ve had it tough, you’ll have the drive to reach this elite level.
Again, it’s easier to do this if you’re already happy with a support system, but most people at the “good” level don’t have much motivation to reach an elite level.
Bad -> Elite, Good -> Good
Most people are “good.” Their life is “good,” their job is “good,” their friends are “good.”
Why would they learn social skills and push themselves to be uncomfortable?
What many people on the level of “good” don’t realize is just how easy it is for them to become “elite” if they wanted to.
There are many more rags -> riches stories than middle class -> riches stories.
This is because being poor or suffering makes you uncomfortable.
So you get used to discomfort. Discomfort because normal.
Comfort feels amazing, but you can handle discomfort if you’ve had it rough.
So if you’ve “had it rough” and you’ve reached the level of “good,” you’re not likely to stop.
You can enjoy your successes, but keep pushing yourself to be “elite.”
Even normal will feel amazing!
Again, it’s just way better if you can naturally inspire yourself to be better.
There are tons of people that were “good” that became elite. That’s better, but if you’ve had it rough, you minus well use your ability to handle suffering to be the best you can be- there’s much less to lose.
Truly Appreciating Life
Yesterday I was with my girlfriend, and I felt soo high.
I’m finally getting rid of chronic pain, and dealing with the suppressed memories, anger, and fear I had as a kid growing up in a fucked up situation.
Feeling safe & loved is something most people take for granted.
For me, being in some type of pain is “normal.” I’m used to being a bit on edge (heaviness/fear in my chest/stomach), or feeling physical pain (TMS).
So yesterday when I felt safe & loved, it felt like the best thing in the world.
Feeling safe feels like heaven to me. I can be bored out of my mind, but as long as I feel safe, I’m quite satisfied.
I’m used to the back hurting or the chest heavy. When neither of those are happening, I feel light like an angel.
This is what also has helped me reach an elite level in many areas of my life.
I truly appreciate my blessings. Feeling safe alone is enough to make me happy, and I know there’s no danger anymore from expressing myself authentically.
And even if it was dangerous, I’ve been through the worst case scenario.
I could go back. I don’t want to, but I could if I had to. I know how to get by, pain was my norm, so this new life I’m making feels so.. magical..
I wish that I had never suffered. I wish I grew up right. I wish I was loved & safe. I wish my business & travel could’ve gave from a place of inspiration, and not channeling hate and a desire to escape.
But, watchya gonna do? Look at the positives.
Life is beautiful. Hell is my norm. Norm is heaven. Feeling loved? THAT is one amazing feeling.
If you’ve been through or are going through tough times, stay strong.
Life can only get better… but you MUST be willing to put in the effort.
As I write this, I look out at “Vitosha Mountain.” It is a beautiful mountain close to Sofia, Bulgaria.
When you finally “make it,” it’ll feel like heaven.
There will be work to do. You have to re-train your brain to stop firing stress responses to day-to-day life.
But it’s possible. I’m healing, and feeling safe.
It feels really strange to feel safe.
Damn, I can’t imagine what life will be like as I continue to heal. Feeling safe almost all the time and not having chronic pain is becoming a dream come true..
And you can have it too.
Stay focused, work hard, and keep moving forward.