Now it’s been almost 2 weeks since arriving back in Thailand, and my mind is finally starting to catch up!
The jet lag has passed, I’m flowing in a productive routine, enjoying parties, reconnecting with good friends, and making new friends.
Contrary to my last post “Trouble in Paradise: Chiang Mai Feels,” this one is more positive.
Even as I wrote the last one I knew that there was only that sadness & pain because I was adjusting. Jet lag, missing friends, etc. will do that to you.
Unlike a vacation where you know you’ll be back soon, I know I’ll be gone from Bulgaria for at least 3 months- such a long time! Yet, at the same time, not quite long.
The 3 months in Bulgaria passed by like a strange trip, still my mind is comprehending it. I made super truly wonderful friends and miss you all!
Back in Chiang Mai, I’m adjusted to the new vibe. I’m getting better at this- adjusting to new places. Well, it could also be that I lived here for 4 months before, so now I’m capable of adjusting faster…
One way or another, I feel like I’ve grown a ton. Here’s what’s up in Chiang Mai with me (stay tuned for some epic content at the end).
Just yesterday, with a new group of Thai friends I worked out with, I ran a 5k and achieved my all-time goal of many years!
I ran 5 kilometers at my target goal of <20 minutes, clocking in officially at 19m 38s- significantly faster than anticipated.
I made sure to reward myself with an epic steak + meat/cheese platter. I hesitated at the price, but after so many years of hard work and dedicated to being an athlete, I think it was well deserved!
Achieving this is inspiring me to realize that anything is possible. I could create wealth, get great at whatever I want, etc.
Dreams do come true- if you hustle hard at ‘em.
Today I am physically exhausted and so sore. In addition to that 5k, I ran somewhere between 6k-8k additionally with the group at a difficult pace. It was an intense day!
In addition to that, I also did something like 7k-ish the day before. So much running!
Connection & Belonging
The biggest pain that coming back to Chiang Mai had for me was the feeling of not being so socially connected as I was in Bulgaria, where the vast majority of my friends (and deep friends) are.
Many connections I had here were connections I had just because I didn’t have anyone else- I decided instead this time to focus on meeting new people I connect better with, which quickly happened.
Just today, after an exhausting 3 hour work session, I drove to go find some food. My friend pulled her car over and waved me down, and we drove together to get some food.
Chiang Mai in many ways feels like the “Sofia of Asia.” It’s small, you bump into others often too!
Yesterday I had another situation like that. 2 days ago I made a new friend. Then yesterday I went to the gas station to fill up my motorbike. The guy in front of me was that new friend, so we spontaneously got breakfast together.
The seeds I planted 3-4 months ago are growing, as those friends have introduced me to new friends. My social life is now taking off exponentially, and I’m connecting people I really enjoy, including locals that I can practice my favorite sport with!
Is it the Chiang Mai vibe or my own development? I think a little bit of both. I’m feeling an increased maturity in me, especially ever since I went back to Bulgaria and finally healed from the remaining pain regarding my ex.
I feel much more in tune with my emotions, thoughts, feelings, desires, etc. Achieving such difficult goals like running 5k in <20 minutes also has created a sense of being indestructible.
I feel like is simple. If you want something, just go for it… Who gives a fuck?
Just go travel. Just go start a business. Just go workout. Just ask her out. Whatever you want, just do it!
People will judge, whatever. Let them do that. Life is too short to pander to the weak assholes.
Vacations & Fun
In loosening up, achieving clarity, and simplifying life, I have realized that I haven’t had a vacation in… Years. Like, 4 years or something like that. Maybe 5. I don’t know.
I’m thinking of taking off roughly a week in early December to fly down South to Thailand’s islands for some fun exploration.
There’s a really cool girl I’ve seen the last 3 (or 4?) times I’ve been in Bangkok, and I’d enjoy to go with her. We may go together, which would be epic.
Flights are super cheap so this weekend I might fly down to Bangkok to be with her and another friend that is flying back to Bangkok.
I felt SUPER amazing my first few days in Thailand, and that’s because I was in Bangkok with both of them. I connect well with my guy friend and her, so minus well enjoy that.
Tomorrow I might also take a little time off of work (and make it up the next day) to go to a waterpark with some friends. Thailand is quite affordable, so minus well enjoy life!
It took me nearly 2 weeks, but I finally got myself a massage a couple days ago also- which was so amazing and much needed.
Why Do I Push Myself Too Hard?
For years I often got down on myself for not waking up early enough- like, I think this has been my life habit since I was 14 or even younger!
I’ve wanted to “do it all.” Wake up early. But also party late. All that stuff.
Early mornings are great, but can leave me feeling lonely as many of the fun, exciting parties are happening at night- preventing you from getting up early (without depriving yourself of sleep).
Recently I’ve started asking myself- “why?”
I did this in Sofia and wrote about it. I had decided to leave a party and go home. But I had nothing planned the next day… AT ALL (Saturday night -> Sunday).
Why was I going home? It’s because of some old pattern that doesn’t serve me anymore!
So that night I partied, had a blast, and slept in late. Then got back to productivity mode the next week and all was okay.
I’m keeping life simple now… Maybe it’s just that my past year of consistent meditation is paying off?
I’ve meditated almost every day for over a year now.
I see that there are so many patterns within me anymore. Like an unconscious animal following its impulses, I feel driven to do things that no longer serve me.
I see this in everyone, not just myself. Through meditating, and thanks to a meditation a great friend in Bulgaria taught me, I’ve been able to rapidly release many of these patterns!
In releasing them I feel… Clear. I feel simple. Just do this, just do that. Whatever.
Last night was Monday, but I went out and partied anyways. I met some cute girls and they wanted me to dance with them, so we went to a Thai club for some dancing.
Had I given into my old patterns, I would’ve gone home… Instead I went into yet another “secret” Thai club that foreigners don’t know.
The Thais danced like crazy. The party picked up to something crazy that Bulgaria might struggle to compete with…
Looking around, I became nervous realizing I was the only white guy… The only foreigner.
The thai band sang at the girls (we were in the front of the venue), I wish I could understand and sing along to everyone singing.
However the Thais are kind and welcoming, especially to foreigners that are not “basic,” going to the same clubs everyone else goes to.
As I walked around the club the locals welcomed me, we danced together, did many cheers, and had a blast.
Overall I’m enjoying Thailand so much more than the previous times because I’m getting more and more outside of the foreigner bubble.
I’ve written about this before… Many of the foreigners here never really truly experience Chiang Mai! It’s almost annoying. It is actually a little bit.
People travel all the way around the world just to go to the same Western clubs they’d have back at home, in areas that are more white than Asian. It’s weird.
In the Thai clubs I go to you’ll find much cheaper alcohol, locals dancing like you’ve never seen before, some of the most beautiful girls, and some of the friendliest guys.
The only “downside” to these places is that, as a foreigner, you feel it. It’s terrifying, yet exhilarating at the same time.
Unlike in Bulgaria where I blend in with my skin, I stand out a ton. Does everyone give me a second glance because I’m attractive? Because I’m the only white guy? Or am I in my head?
Visiting these clubs gives me an idea of what it must be like to be a minority in America or Europe- you never realize how those people feel until you are the minority!
It’s a wonderful experience though. Unlike some places in the world, the Thais are welcoming to foreigners, so no one is giving me a cold shoulder.
Still, it’s a slightly nerve-racking experience. Walking around a club where it seems everyone belongs but you… Where you truly are experiencing something new and fascinating few will ever see in this world.. It’s exactly the kind of experience that I wanted when I left the USA…
And in making Thai friends, connecting to the locals, and visiting local places I feel much more motivated to learn Thai, and I’ve learned a ton in this past week!
There’s a huge motivation to learn Thai, maybe even more-so than Bulgarian because in these places the locals often do not have good (if at all) English.
I’m asking often to be taught new words, new phrases, and each day learning a bit more! They are happy to teach it, and I’ve observed that now that I speak significantly more Thai, the locals are even more open & welcoming because they see I am not one of many transient foreigners.
This experience is making me even more excited to stay in Thailand. I will almost certainly be in the USA in late December for Christmas/New Years with family, but after… Then what?
I don’t know.
Less and less of me wants to live in the USA. Yet, at the same time, I feel interested to try it out.
I wrote so much about living there, and now it seems that in 2020 I might just spend most of my time in Thailand and in Bulgaria.
When I go back to America I’ll have to take an objective view of what I’d like to do.
Right now the main idea is to live half Bulgaria half Thailand. I will get a local place in Bulgaria, stay for 3 months, leave for 3 months to Thailand, then return for 3 months.
If I want I can extend my Bulgarian visa, or continue half/half, OR try something new. But for now, I like this life.
My Heart’s Desire?
I’ve been working a lot on my business, however a business coach suggested I try something else…
She suggested that I should consider being a “dating coach,” or do something in the dating/social life niche.
I came a long way from the 14 year old nobody that I was terrified to meet people, to know someone living abroad, traveling the world, dating, able to approach girls, etc.
She said that it was obvious in the way our conversations flowed that I was into that much more than what I was currently doing.
Earlier this year I was working on developing an ad system that guaranteed a client results, and then the goal would be to get several clients within that niche (by running my own ads) and build a ton of wealth for myself.
I felt passionate about it, but in our conversation alone, I have to confess that I would be much more passionate about something in dating…
For example, one product idea I had was “how to get a girlfriend in 90 days or less.” This is something I have proven capable of doing consistently in my travels.
As I’m also still interested in growing in this area, it would also allow me to improve more in the subject and develop better relationships + social life myself in the pursuit of helping others.
Many dating programs I had purchased were incomplete. They would just teach only mindset, or only action, and often it was random information, a lot of it common sense.
If I were to make a program, it would be comprehensive, and guarantee a girlfriend/boyfriend within 90 days or less.
If I didn’t do the dating niche, I’d do something with social life as I’ve multiple social circles around the globe that I love.
My mind isn’t entirely sure about this yet. Thoughts I’m having include:
- What if I’m just distracting myself yet again, not committing to what I know I need to do to be successful? For example, maybe I just have to follow through a bit more what I’m currently doing
- Am I truly qualified to this? On one hand I know I could get most guys a result, but still I know I’m not the best at this, I’ve a lot of growing to do myself.
- Fears about judgement from friends/family
I’ll have to do some reflection, also a motivation for the vacation – to disconnect from all work, all routines, all social media/internet stuff and connect inward.
With whatever I do, I want to provide massive value to people. This might be my way to do it.
People DO tell me I’m good at building social groups… And I must confess I do enjoy doing it, and also meeting girls.
On the other hand I AM also passionate about fitness, so the idea to focus on the fitness niche and provide marketing solutions to fitness businesses is still there too.
I guess time will show my path…